Tyler's Baptism

If you are a frequent reader or visitor of our blog, you probably  ( hopefully) know that we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ. In other words, we are Mormons. This post is about his Baptism and how we came to OUR choice of him being baptized.

In recent years we have seen the increase of the "fad" that I like to call the " Pintrest life." It's the place that I have the most organized house, cutest decorations, the dream house and the most activities that keep my toddler entertained and a GENIUS and where we live the most perfect life that has ever lived. But I don't. I live in the pintrest fail world. Where I am not organized. My decorations include soda spills and diaper pails and stinky diapers and dirty clothes. My toddler loves the Ipad and thinks that Cailou and Mater are real. The Fail list could go on.

In the last few years as I have started taking pictures, a new trend is professional photos at the age of 8. I also offer these photos in which I  lovingly calling the photos " Great to be 8" Photos. Usually it is me, the 8 year old an the mother. It reminds me of the time we had large mission farewells where it was finally advised to not make it a production. ( I am just waiting on the day with joy that it also happens with baptisms, for LOTS of reason!) I didn't know what to do for Ty's baptism because there is or wasn't a clear cut answer as to if we should/shouldn't baptize him or HOW we could even do it. Lucky for me we didn't pay a professional to take his photos!

Our initial idea about a 10 months ago, were to not baptize Tyler at all. We weren't sure how we judged if it was right for him or not. As the mom I was hoping that the normal "8" things were going to happen and yet knew and know that he is perfect and doesn't "have to" be baptized.  We went to our bishop to see what his opinion was. And it was just that. "I don't know. There is no clear cut answer."

So after a few more months we went to him with our choice. We started even harder preps  to have him be "ready." But I don't know how much he fully understood or understands. So back to the Bishop we went. The Bishop gave us some advice at this point and we took it home and made our choice to have Tyler baptized.

We live way from family and knew we wouldn't have a lot in attendance and after much thinking, pondering and a few other things, we thought it would be in Tyler's best interest to either go visit our Grandparents in Utah OR cut down our list to bare minimum and have it be just us.  So we invited and uninvited etc. It was really hard to uninvite but in the end it was about Tyler.

Both sets of grandparents came and Aunt Nicky, Ty's respite worker. Three other people from the ward was there but it was SMALL and perfect.  Ty did great and was a happy camper. He did a wonderful job and even managed to crack a few jokes. We love him!

Nope, you won't get a photo of me. I am to ucky! But Dallas and Ty and his parents and my parents and Ty's Baptizing Koala Bear.

My sister came and she stayed with us for one night. They made a quick trip. Dallas' parents spent a few days with us and we really enjoyed our visit with them.

Overall it was a wonderful day. However, baptism for children with special needs is not a cut and dry issue. It isn't one way or another and it truly is up to the parents and the children. Ty is not limited in his ability to move as much as other children and he is able to understand what is going on around him. He has watched people be baptized and had expressed an interest in it the last few months before his baptism. He participates more than some other children with special needs with his peers and is able to know when he is being left out. He  also participates in the scouting program through our Church. As he gets older and all of the kids he is in church with start passing the sacrament, he isn't limited enough to not notice he is being left out. So it was the right choice for us.

For more information click on over to a few of the links! HERE and a good read HERE. Even more here.

This choice was made thoughtfully and prayerfully with our local leaders and it was what was best for our family. Please note, that we did work on going under the water. We did activities that involved baptisms. We talked about it. We learned a few songs and we did all we could to make it the best for Tyler. We are in no way condemning those who do or don't. Each situation is unique and our local leaders and our prays were answered in a way that worked for us!



* A Tylerism: Ty loves Ghost stories and was given a book on the Holy Ghost to read. So we read it and when we got one he said " Mom can we read a different book. It said it was about a Ghost ( insert spooky ghost sound) but it was NOT about a ghost." Then after a talk given by one of his grandpa's gave a talk on how a treasure would be found after he got baptized. He spent some time in the font, splashing around looking for his "treasure." After, his other Grandpa told him about the Holy Ghost. He sat down and the Bishop ad I were listening to Tyler talk. Ty said " Mom, I think the Holy Ghost took my treasure!" *

Five minute- Friday- What mama did

I am linking up with a new group of women that I have found. Basically they ask you to write for five minutes and that is it. Just get the words flowing.  You can find more women HERE!

The theme is “What mama did” ( don’t hate me for the english!)

Two of the most memorable of my mom in adulthood is centered around my Ty. I am sure she doesn’t remember but I do. And that is all that counts.

The night that Ty was born ( well morning) my mom and dad got in a car and drove 3 hours to be in a hospital room where there was nothing anyone could do. Dallas was with Tyler and so the first people I saw were my parents. I didn’t know when they got there. I only know that they were there. I knew my parents were crying and they focused all they could on me and making me feel loved. After a very heartfelt blessing everyone left. I was left with just my mom, who was sleep sitting in a chair. I was talking to her and she kept reassuring me it was fine. It was a simple act, but I needed it.

The next happened a few months later. I don’t remember why but Ty was being poked for the millionth time for a procedure and I was standing at the edge of the bed/incubator.  I couldn’t handle it and I broke down. There was my mom standing at the bottom of the incubator and she took over where I fell short. I was very thankful that day.

There are many times that they ( mom AND dad ) came up. Major surgeries they would do what they could. Only the ones where we lived in Arizona was it just us. Even though they are far away I know they think of us often.

For the fact that she is here and I have a mom I am thankful.

Thanks mom.

A day to remember

As most of you know our family is LDS or Mormon. Most who read this blog are probably family or stalkers. But either way, we are what we are! While we were struggling with infertility we had a family member and their family that also struggled with it ( and still do.) While we have and will have infertility issues, we have/will be coming to a conclusion in NOT adding MORE children to our home, but the other family is well on their way to wanting to be the Duggar's ( ok not really. But a few new people would be nice!)

While our pregnancy was very difficult for them, around May they received a call that they had a baby waiting for them and to come pick him up. They lived across the country, but drove to get him. Sure enough a baby boy was VERY welcomed into their family and into OURS. We love this little boy.

I don't think I prayed more for another person to have a baby than this family. Honestly, when we had exhausted our begging for a baby for us and we found out about Grayson, I turned my begging for this sweet family. I was so happy that he got here before Grayson and that he was going to someone who truly wanted him and loved him before he got here.

Baby Isaac was officially a Labrum on December 7th. Though he was ours the second he was born, legally he is a Labrum. Over the Christmas break Dallas and I were able to watch them be sealed as a family. ( An ordinance that we do in our sacred Temples. Feel free to ask or request Missionaries to your home to discuss/invite/convert/baptize/) ( PS.. I was NOT kidding.. click to have some nice 19 year old boys or girls come teach you!!)

The look on my brothers face as all of his children were there in a sacred room to be told that they are a forever family no matter what is and was amazing. His sweet wife couldn't hold back the tears as a child that was so wanted came right on in, happy as could be.

We enjoyed the rest of the afternoon with them. It was an amazing experience with such sweet and cute little bugs!

It doesn't happen often enough but I do have a testimony of the Gospel. The experience above happened to us when Tyler was not very old. Having a piece of paper that says him and Grayson are Mine not just for Time but for all eternity is priceless. It makes me so happy to know that they are entrusted to me. I know that they are mine. I know that the sealing power is true.

A big heartfelt thank you to the Birth mom of sweet Isaac and for what she has done for us, them and for Isaac. Thank you!.

To learn more about my awesomeness brother go HERE. His wife journals their life but their adoption and fertility journal is in there too.

Their adoption agency is here. And if you have lots of questions Chantel ( the awesomeness that makes my brother) is always open to answering them.

Oh and I wasn't kidding... Please have a representative of the LDS church come over. It is totally cool. Just be nice. Offer them lemonade or something.

Things I learned on my mission

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Mostly known to others as " The Mormons." We are the people who go door to door ( generally men!) and invite you to read our free book and join our church.

You see these boys driving bikes, in white shirts and ties and they look about 10 ( OK 19) but young, young men. They share a message that is free for the listening with a challenge that some take. Some don't.

Behind closed doors there is a different kind of life. One that is packed full of learning, growing and life lessons tucked away for future reference.

I was one of those missionaries. I was called to serve in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. I went during a time in my life that those strict rules and regulations and lifestyle was welcomed and fought all at the same time.

For those who don't know or understand the missionary system, well it is very rigid, strict and amazing all at the same time.

I learned so much about myself, how to handle conflict, how to have a companionship, and how to learn to love ( despite angry, hard and not ideal situations.)

Here is a list that has recently been something that is REALLY been important to me.

1- Read my scriptures: Recently I have been given the chance to wake up when the house is quiet and there is no one up and read 15 minutes before my day start. I haven't done this in YEARS. I will sadly admit that my scripture reading has really really slacked and I am embarrassed to say how long it has been since reading the Book of Mormon all the way through.

2- Service: When I found myself not liking MYSELF or not liking my Companion, I was taught to give service. Make her bed, leave a note in her scriptures, make her breakfast. Sometimes it was just a fake it til you make it type situation.

Recently I have tried that out but it isn't working for me. I feel like I am OK with myself but find that I have hard feelings towards others. So I thought, lets give service. That service has just made others resentful, instead of how I was always taught it would. So I do have some issues that I need to work out on this one.

How do you give service to someone who doesn't want you to? Even if you feel it is the RIGHT thing for YOU to do for your own salvation or peace?

3- How to love: The key to being able to serve others was learning to love them. Some people were easy to love. Some were not. Area's were able to really make me feel at home and others were not.

In real life it is harder to just be instantly filled with love for other people. That is something I am working on. It is even harder when you do love another and the love isn't reciprocated. Then it makes #2 not work.

4- Pray always: When I was a missionary we prayed all the time. We prayed for things that I would have NEVER thought to pray for.

In real life, especially lately in our life, we have begged and pleaded and are really hoping that the prayers are more meaningful. It helps us to feel like we are doing all we can.

As I try to put 1-4 together I really hope the things that I have been taught help make things a little better. That I can try a little harder and serve a little more.

What things do you work on? What makes you feel more spiritual? What have you looked at changing in your life?

Just have Faith

The recurring theme of my study this month. I really wanted to write down a few things I have found from the Prophets about Faith and what has taught me this month.

President Thomas S. Monson has counseled us that “faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other”

• Can I have faith that because this door is closing SOMETHING else isn't going to open.
• How can I not doubt that we would not have what we need when the real provider is our Heavenly Father.
  
• Why do I always forget that in order to have faith we usually have to DO something? And sometimes that "something" is humbling ourselves and asking others for help. Only because those people have probably ASKED for some way to give service to another.
  

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught how to respond to adversity. Part of his counsel included :The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable”

• This month STUNK... but I remembered how much I LOVE Dallas. Going out together on ONE date made me remember that we love each other. That we care about each other and we can laugh and love and make it more enjoyable while we are miserable :)
  
• And really, we have been through worse, so we will just pick ourselves back up and move on!

Last but no least : Prayer.. I think I have done more soul searching, tear strewn prayers in the last three weeks than I EVER have since my mission. The feelings of the Spirit are very strong. Its the rest that overpower and I forget to listen.

For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love and of a sound mind........ A scripture that I will always remember. Be not thou therefore afraid......

I am worried, but I am not afraid. I have no doubt, and hope that what I feel right now, the peace... is faith.

Ever had one of those days/months

I haven't had many bad days recently. Things are going really well with Tyler. Minus the bus lady incident ( which she ended up NOT getting transferred but had a lesson on how not to abuse my child) So things are going well. Emotionally and spiritually not so hot.

Let me explain:

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and understand He has a plan. I understand His hand is watching over us and that again there is a plan.

Yet I fall short on SO many levels. One lately has been on forgiveness and total forgiveness. Instead it has been filled with anger and resentment. So much so that I can pretty much find fault in every single thing that people have said. Seriously, I am getting REALLY good. Even if it is something simple ( " I had a long day" for example could have me wanting to tell them off or getting angry etc ) Its bad.

I find myself constantly doing this. Its not even just one person. That is what makes me more frustrated than anything. If they have severely offended me or have attacked me in some way I find myself doing this. I find myself getting defensive so much that I feel like I am making myself have more anxiety than it is worth.

I have found myself really looking and looking for some guidance. I have been taking some time before Ty gets on the bus and reading last sessions Ensign. I have been praying for help and yet I still fall short.

I really feel like these people have and owe me an apology. I have apologized and have done so more than once to several of those I feel have wronged me. But it just isn't going away.

I know that I can and have changed I just wish I could understand that with others. It is not a fun feeling to feel defensive and angry.

Anyone else ever been there? Am I just bearing my soul for no reason!? I want to be able to forgive and forget. What has worked for you?

In memory of A great man

I got a phone call from my dad last night. I am sure the idea of calling 4 kids and telling them the news was almost as heart breaking as getting the news. The heart has a funny way of allowing you to think first and then it responds.

When we were just little, like really little ( I was 8) we were moved into a new ward. We didn't move locations but the ward boundaries changed and we moved into 2nd ward. It was a hard move at the time but now it is home.

We were assigned 2 men to come to our home. I am almost sure they were assigned from the beginning but needless to say they were assigned when we were pretty young. President Law was a very humble and sweet man, but his companion was a spiritual giant yet he was quite. But the quite wouldn't last for long. As he became closer to our family he would open up and joke and tease us.

As I got older we looked forward to the monthly visit that would ensue with laughing, teasing and relentless torment from Ted. Yet a respect for these gentle giants was never far from our mouths.

As we got older President Law went on a mission and we thought for sure we would lose Ted. But each month him and Faye would come up the steps and we would have our lesson. If Ted wasn't our home teacher he didn't go to anyone.

We moved away to college and when we would go home to visit our parents we would go into sacrament meeting and Ted would be sitting at the end of the family bench, where he belonged, and would stand up and hug us.

When I had Tyler and I had gone home and Ted was in his usual place at the end of the bench. He stood up and with Tears in his eyes told me he was praying for my son. He was a grandparent to us and he was a very very good man.

"To our hundreds of thousands of home teachers and visiting teachers, I suggest that it is good to visit our assigned families; it is better to have a brief visit in which we teach doctrine and principle; and it is best of all to make a difference in the lives of some of those we visit."

As Ted embarks on his new journey and being reunited with his wife that he has made a difference in the lives he visited.

Haban Fundraiser

My friend Jami lost her husband this past week. She is such a strong person. Over the last month Kameron was in the ICU for Lupus and Valley Fever. He passed away on the 19th. He is such a courageous man.

Jami and Kam have a VERY cute little boy. He is 2 and a half. He is smart and cute and a spitting image of his father. Jami has to start over. She is looking at hospital bills, funeral expenses and starting a new life.

A benefit concert is going on to help her family but there is also donations being taken at Bank of America Under Jamilyn Haban ( AZ). If anyone can donate that reads this please please do.

To read Kam's story go here. A local photographer ( and Jami's brother) is doing a fundraiser and any pictures purchased through him will go to benefit Jami and her family. His website and amazing photos are HERE!

If you can donate please do. If you can't please offer a prayer to Jami and her family. They are such strong people. Jami especially for strength. She is raising a heroes son. She needs the comfort!

What feels like a million years ago......

What feels like a million years ago I was a representative of the LDS church, serving a LDS mission in a wonderful but VERY Catholic part of the great state of Indiana. Being a missionary is something that shaped my life and is something that I think about daily. There is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of someone or something from my mission.

One of the things that I loved on my mission was the copious amounts of study time. The time was spent learning all I could about the Savior, His mission and the purpose of His plan. It also gave me a chance to learn about the others around me.

Learning and seeing other religions view on Easter and how religiously devoted they are to their religion made me even more amazed at the purpose and role of the Savior.

As a missionary it was nothing to share my testimony. I did it all the time. As a member of the church I don't share it enough.

On this Easter weekend, I wanted to publicly share my testimony and share with you a clip of an apostles view of the sacred event.

I know that God lives, and that He loves us. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that we have a prophet that leads and guides us. I have a testimony of the power of the Priesthood. I know that having a husband that is able to give blessings has been one of the reasons that we have seen so many miracles in our lives. I know that because Jesus Christ did walk alone I don't have to. I know that he suffered so that he may know how to comfort me. I know that when I pray he is there to listen and he will answer.

The message from Elder Holland is one of the most moving I have heard in a long time. Please take the time to listen.

My many blessings

I am so incredibly blessed this week. I have taken a lot of time to reflect on all the wonders and miracles that I have been given. There is so many more things than I can write down. I will do my best.

1- First of the list is Dallas. In the 4 valentines we have had they have been spent with our sweet baby in the hospital. Last year Ty had his EEG done the day before but the weekend off has been in the hospital. I can't even begin to tell you the love and admiration I have for this man. He is so strong and so caring and so loving. He is a solid rock when I need him and a softy when I need him to be. He is amazing. He is the best dad anyone could ask for.

2- Tyler. What more can I say. That little boy has endured more in his short little life than most of us combined yet he still takes the time to love on both of us. He is small in stature but he is a giant in Spirit. He has more Christ like love than anyone I know. He continues to bless my life with Miracle after Miracle. I am so blessed.

3- My Savior. I am so grateful for the testimony I have of Jesus Christ. For the understanding of the plan of salvation and how it brings happiness to us. If it wasn't for the teachings of eternal families I am not sure how I would get through times like this. If I didn't know that Dallas and Tyler can never be separated from me I would be lost.

I think those 3 things right there make me the luckiest and most blessed mom in the entire world.

Miracles Happen

3 years ago....

3 years ago me and Dallas were rooming in. Rooming in to show the nurses and the docs that we were able to take care of Tyler. It was also the day that we were starting the last stretch of our NICU journey.

This year we start the day back at a hospital. Doing something that is not fun but it is much better than the NICU.

Ty is having his dental work tomorrow. We are capping 3 of his teeth, cleaning and doing all the stuff we can't do while he is awake. This is the first time Ty has been put under anesthesia without both of us present. HE usually only wants me when he wakes up but it is still hard to do it without Dallas.

He gave Tyler a blessing tonight. I feel OK about the procedure and know that it will go fine.

Tomorrow you will see the "new and improved" Tyler.

Please say a prayer for both of us that we will be OK and that we will have a quick recovery and on our way home!

Thirteen Favorite Memories 1. I was so glad to get out of High school. A great memory was spending all night in the Grant's cabin. It was great. 2. Junior Prom. Promenade was so much fun and Heath was one of my best friends. It was so much fun. I went with Brad W. and I loved my dress. 3. Going through the temple in Manti. It was Gorgeous and very few people. It was so amazing. 4. Going on my mission and realizing the things I was sharing with people I truly believed. It was such an eye opening experience. The day we pulled into South Bend and I saw that valley I KNEW I loved the area and I truly loved the people. Sometimes at night I think of them and the roads. But most of all I loved the way I felt. 5. Meeting Dallas. Our first "date" was the library. I was in scrubs, my hair was in a pony tail and I don't even know if I had on makeup. I felt something different about him. I have NO idea how he dared come back. But he did and I am glad. 6. Our Wedding. It was a day of so many emotions. When I came walking down the isle with my dad and I saw D and he had tears in his eyes I of course was crying. But I knew then he was my best friend. I have never been happier and fall in love with him EVERYDAY! 7. Hearing Ty's heartbeat for the first time. I never thought I would get the amazing calling of being a mom. And there on the screen was this heartbeat. We called him Baby Bean. 8. After many scares of miscarrying we went in for many many ultrasounds because I was bleeding. Seeing that little bean on ultrasound was such a memory. 9. Meeting my son for the first time. I couldn't see him because I didn't have glasses or my contacts ( they made me throw away my contacts when I went into surgery). All I could see was a box and everyone crying and me trying to be brave as they gave him a blessing. But, I knew he was mine and he was special. 10. The first time I saw my baby. He made me a mom and he was so tiny and so special. He was VERY brave. 11. The first night after Dallas and I had Tyler I was in another hospital from Tyler and Dallas was there with me. The nurse brought me juice and cookies and talked to us. She said she had never seen a couple so in love and that this would either break or make our marriage. We laid in my hospital bed together and we cried. We laughed, we smiled. We came to understand each others needs and it was just what I needed. It created such a memory. I remember it like yesterday. 12. My teddy bear. Dallas bought me the softest and squishiest teddy bear. He brought it the morning after our first night together. It was something for me to hold while I couldn't hold my baby. I slept with it every night till that little man was home and D didn't even mind. It was his thoughtfullness that made a wonderful memory for me. 13. The day we were sealed for time and all eternity. Ty had been in shunt malfunction for one full month. All he did was cry. I was going CRAZY. He had brain surgery to fix it 4 days before Dallas went through the temple and one week after his surgery we were sealed for ETERNITY. Ty was so cute in his little suit and he was so good. He sat there with my mom and looked at everyone watching him. I will never forget that day. Sitting in the Celestial room with Dallas, knowing we had one more up there and having our miracle with us is something I will NEVER forget. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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General Conference

Growing up I hated General conference. I thought of it as a time that we didn't have to go to church and we could do what we wanted. I would listen but only long enough to do my Conference Bingo for seminary.

When I moved away to college and went to Provo I found that Conference was enojoyed by a few young people. It was the first time I sat down and watched it. I started to enjoy church and enjoy listening to what the Prophet and the apostles had to share with us. It was a signal of growing up I guess.

As the time went on I decided to serve a mission and Conference became a personal favorite. We would sit in the chapel and we would take notes. We would pray and prepare before hand and we would listen. I would take so much home from those meetings. They would make me feel rejuvenated and excited to share what I had learned.

Since entering back into the "real world" ( almost six years ago) and we don't have the rigourous study schedule that we had I have found the joy of conference still there. I look forward to what they have to say and enjoy listening to the apostles.

I just got done listening to Elder Wirthlin. He left tears in my eyes. I am overwhelmed by the love that the apostles have for each other. Elder Nelson got up to help him so he would be steady. But the gesture was perfect. Elder Wirthlin was speaking on Love. He encouraged us to find the true love of Christ. He spoke of how we feel when we Have true love in our homes.

I love listening to these wonderful men. They are amazing and carry such a spirit with them.

What a perfect day we have had. Listening to Conference and enjoying each other.