Christmas with Tyler

After 4 Christmas mornings with Tyler you would THINK I would realize that he just doesn't care once he opens that ONE gift he really really likes. For him it seems any book or movie will about do him in leaving the rest of the gifts for Dad and I to open for him.

We decided that like last year, we would buy one big gift and then little gifts. BUT the big gift, which I think should take a lot of thought into getting the "right one", couldn't be so obvious that he doesn't play or open the other stuff. ( like last years ball pit he wouldn't get out of) We decided not to put together his big gift till after he opened the rest.

Overall, he was OK with opening presents but he was even better once a book and a movie was opened. The big gift didn't phase him until it was put together.

Here are the pictures of Christmas:

Our Christmas tree pre Santa.. I didn't really get one POST Santa..

Christmas Eve Dallas was putting Tyler to bed and they were talking about Santa and if Ty had been good. When he woke us up and we took him downstairs and we waited to see if Santa had come he saw the presents and said " Oh cool."

The stocking was to pretty to fill so we put his big stocking toy IN the tree. We were pointing it out to him. It was pretty funny to see him see something new in the tree that he didn't put in the tree.

Ty really likes the super sleuths and Tiger goes right along with his big present. He loved the tiger and we had a hard time getting him back to opening presents.

A microphone so he can sing with Annie. He loved this thing in the store to. He will go get it any time Annie sings.

Ty got a cute little trampoline that has a handle so he can jump. He loves it. His face is priceless. Of course we had this in the box so that we would sort of get his attention. He has contently played with his new movies, books and jumper for hours and hours of fun.

Christmas Day we also got to have Max and Morgan and Kayden, Koy and Lexi here for a little party for Max. They brought their parents to! So we had a house full with Grandma and Grandpa Labrum. I don't think grandma and Grandpa could have been happier to have everyone together again. I thought Grandpa was gonna BURST!

That afternoon we went to Grandma and Grandpa Browns. Ty was/is sick. He has a nasty cold and cried all night Christmas eve so he was pretty done pretty fast. But we had a great time with his cousins there. He is a pretty spoiled kiddo!

This Christmas season I was especially humbled by Dallas and love him so much. He has worked very hard for us this year and we are so thankful for him and for all of the things that we have. I am also thankful for my Savior and to remember the reason for the season!

With Grandpa passing very close to Christmas and most of us being together, I can't help but remember how incredible the power of family can be. That no matter how many gifts are under the tree that we should remember Christ and our family should be the first things on our mind.

Merry Christmas!

Family~

Grandpa and his pallbearers

It was cold and the ground was slippery. Plus I think my brother is handsome
and a pretty nice guy.

My uncle Larry gave a awesome and very spiritual prayer. He is a tough guy and seeing his emotions makes me realize how real we all are.

This guy is cute! He is getting so old that he had to have his wife stand behind the flag and help hold him up. But he was so Proud do be a vetran.

Grandpa had beautiful flowers and sprays. I loved them. He truly is a great man.

More on Grandpa Rue a little later

From not so hot to even yuckier

As you can tell for the month of December it would have been more "fruitful" if we SKIPPED it. Though I know we have had far more serious problems health wise than we have this month, emotionally and "behind the scenes" this month has been high on the stress list.

Christmas has not felt the same this year as it did last year. I felt more prepared for it and felt more Christmasy than this year. There was snow on the ground but my stress felt really through the roof. Most were things that were not contributed to one event just a series of just crappy ones.

So we had Ty's cast week and we were more than ready to send him back to school by Friday. He was SOOO bored at home and he didn't have many visitors so he had the same faces to play with. So I took him to school that week and he has ridden the bus with casts on all week. BUT thanks to Lacey and Jaxson Ty has had a HERO blanket to ride on the bus with. His penguins go with him to Shriner's and on the bus!!

He has gotten around in his feet but because of my horrifically horrible work who can't make up their mind whether to keep us or let us go I had to miss a lot of appointments. While that can be a good thing it also makes for a mom that feels A LOT of guilt and a hubby who ends up working ALL night because he was mom all day.

Monday we had Therapy in which Ty was able to show us that he hates food but will kiss it all but not eat it. But he can share and he pretend played with ice cream and Barney so I guess we will take one or 2 other skills instead of a life sustaining one.

Trying to get him to give back the pretend ice cream was almost the first time I have ever seen him throw a fit over a toy and I even called a learning place to see if they carried them. ( They didn't) So off we went with Crappy Tyler.

Dallas had to take Tyler to the neurosurgeon. This was an appointment that I filled Dallas notes up with questions and things that I usually know and that I usually am the one there for the information. AND as luck would have it.. a CT scan and shunt series was done. That was the only lucky part for me. Ty usually has a FIT if I am there but he did well for his dad ( of course.)

Wednesday was pretty uneventful. We had school, mom worked and that was that. But Ty was suppose to get his casts off but because of the Management at moms work Daddy and mommy had to have it rescheduled. Daddy needed to get some work done while Ty was at school and mommy was working so she couldn't do it. So the appointment was moved to Friday.

Friday came along and I had to sneak out of the house before Ty got home on the bus to make an easier transition with Daddy taking him to get new casts on. They would only do it when there was another therapist to help hold Tyler down and knew that if Dad was coming he was stronger than mom so it was just the "right" thing to do. Again, mommy guilt that consumes me when I am not there with my child was high on the emotional scale and I was not wanting to go to work. Just a really blah day I guess.

As I was walking into work I get a message from my dad that is the message you know something is seriously wrong or that I did something really wrong ( but that hasn't happened since high school) so I call back. Standing in the hosiery section of walmart my dad informs me that he is at my Grandpa's and he is really sorry but that grandpa had died.

My answer: "What? Like Grandpa Rue?" Um I don't HAVE any other grandpa's. What other fabricated grandfatherly figure would he have been referring to. So, surrounded by nylons and other trouser socks I start crying. Knowing that I now have to walk back, clock in and "pretend" that I am even remotely interested in being nice, happy friendly and all those things that every shopper at walmart encounters at the registers with a red splotchy face and tears that flow at any mention of "why is your face red?" ( for the record: faces of people who are saying those things thinking you are just mad at something and you actually say, my dad called and said my grandpa died.... Well the look on their face is priceless.)

Trying to compose myself of the news of his passing is taking longer than the 5 minutes alotted from the time clock to the front so I find myself being ushered outside. Soon after I find my slowly eaten lunch finding that stress pocket in my stomach ( that has been growing and growing for the last 20 days) and exiting the same way it came in. (My thought at the moment : Dang, I was going to eat that.) Consumed by grief that just needed to come out.

The stressors of the month and the death of my grandfather left me pretty much down and out at that point. With feelings of love for my mom and her sisters I wanted to give them all hugs but mostly I wanted my mom to know that she was not alone and that 4 kids stand behind her with the love that they have. ( And in true ME fashion, hoping she knows that she is really NOT an orphan ;) )

The "event" has also gotten me thinking about the legacy of my Grandfather. Something that I have passed on from them or some trait that is his that I see in my surrounding family. Here are some things that I came up with.

• Stubborn STUBBORN man= STUBBORN STUBBORN grandchildren and even MORE stubborn great grandchildren. My miracle is alive because of some grandfathers stubborn trait. For that I will be thankful for ( for the most part) and I am sure that some of my high school teachers would NOT be thankful that I had picked up his stubborn trait.
  
• History. As long as I could remember when an event happened I thought of Grandpa. And thought " Get a newspaper. Or what was happening on that day? He would like a newspaper." He was full of history.
  
• His Stories: One year for Christmas we got A LOT of tapes of Grandpa just telling stories and recordings of my great grandpa. Probably now that he is gone, one of the most priceless gifts given.
• If you don't like it WRITE A LETTER! He is always one that would express his thoughts and words by letter. I think if he was well enough more during this whole internet craze he would have LOVED to have a blog telling all of his thoughts.
  
• Love, support, and sheltering those you love. I always have envisioned him as the one that sheltered in love Grandma Nell and still did with Grandma Carol. He took care of things himself as to not burden, or tax or even sometimes embarrass the ones he loved . I have noticed that trait in ALL of my Aunts and especially my mom. She would rather go with out and shelter us from pain and suffering. Something I am sure she learned from her dad.
  

So, Friday I spent in tears and emotionally trying to gear up for the week we now have ahead. With all the love and emotions tied up in planning a funeral and the feelings that are sure to be had I hope that I can remember why we have family, faith and an understanding of the plan that is in store for us.

So... that is our week... fun one.. We will be going to the Warner party tomorrow night and Shriners hospital on Monday for Cast checks and then heading down to the EC for 2 nights of family and to many emotions!

In memory of A great man

I got a phone call from my dad last night. I am sure the idea of calling 4 kids and telling them the news was almost as heart breaking as getting the news. The heart has a funny way of allowing you to think first and then it responds.

When we were just little, like really little ( I was 8) we were moved into a new ward. We didn't move locations but the ward boundaries changed and we moved into 2nd ward. It was a hard move at the time but now it is home.

We were assigned 2 men to come to our home. I am almost sure they were assigned from the beginning but needless to say they were assigned when we were pretty young. President Law was a very humble and sweet man, but his companion was a spiritual giant yet he was quite. But the quite wouldn't last for long. As he became closer to our family he would open up and joke and tease us.

As I got older we looked forward to the monthly visit that would ensue with laughing, teasing and relentless torment from Ted. Yet a respect for these gentle giants was never far from our mouths.

As we got older President Law went on a mission and we thought for sure we would lose Ted. But each month him and Faye would come up the steps and we would have our lesson. If Ted wasn't our home teacher he didn't go to anyone.

We moved away to college and when we would go home to visit our parents we would go into sacrament meeting and Ted would be sitting at the end of the family bench, where he belonged, and would stand up and hug us.

When I had Tyler and I had gone home and Ted was in his usual place at the end of the bench. He stood up and with Tears in his eyes told me he was praying for my son. He was a grandparent to us and he was a very very good man.

"To our hundreds of thousands of home teachers and visiting teachers, I suggest that it is good to visit our assigned families; it is better to have a brief visit in which we teach doctrine and principle; and it is best of all to make a difference in the lives of some of those we visit."

As Ted embarks on his new journey and being reunited with his wife that he has made a difference in the lives he visited.

Haban Fundraiser

My friend Jami lost her husband this past week. She is such a strong person. Over the last month Kameron was in the ICU for Lupus and Valley Fever. He passed away on the 19th. He is such a courageous man.

Jami and Kam have a VERY cute little boy. He is 2 and a half. He is smart and cute and a spitting image of his father. Jami has to start over. She is looking at hospital bills, funeral expenses and starting a new life.

A benefit concert is going on to help her family but there is also donations being taken at Bank of America Under Jamilyn Haban ( AZ). If anyone can donate that reads this please please do.

To read Kam's story go here. A local photographer ( and Jami's brother) is doing a fundraiser and any pictures purchased through him will go to benefit Jami and her family. His website and amazing photos are HERE!

If you can donate please do. If you can't please offer a prayer to Jami and her family. They are such strong people. Jami especially for strength. She is raising a heroes son. She needs the comfort!

Dear Friend

Dear J,

The unexpected loss of you best friend has really struck a cord for me. The emotions I feel are SO raw. So many things I know you wanted to experience with such a wonderful person. Instead I know you are aching inside. Aching for the moments that you thought you had, that you thought what if and that you are wondering what the future will hold.

God does give us more than we can handle. He does. After 3 years the conclusion I have come to is that He gives us more than we can handle because he loves us. I HATE that. I don't want that kind of love. He expects us to rely on so many other people JUST so we can understand WHY he has a plan that is so far messed up from what we had thought.

As I read the updates of K, I recalled many phone calls to give consent for Tyler over the phone the phone. A transfusion, a surgery, a test. The day you found out he had brain damage, the emotions I felt being told that Ty has severe damage came rushing back. Now what do I do? That is what I thought. What will the end result of this be? Is it something I can handle?

I know the answer to that now. No. That is my answer. I know I can't handle it. I mourn something about it every single day. BUT, something else comes of it. The intense love that I feel for Tyler is what I can handle.

K is gone but Little K isn't. Now what you think you can't handle is sitting in front of you with Big K's eyes. His spirit radiates what you feel in love with in Big K. Your love for both will be so intense. Yet I know there will be sadness.

You are someone I look up to. Someone I admire. Someone that I know didn't ask nor deserve to be left without your best friend. I wish it wasn't part of someone else's plan. I wish that plan maker could have waited for a few more bucket list options to be marked off.

I have no words of comfort.

I have no words of wisdom.

I have a prayer.

I have a tear.

You have a Hero. And you are raising Heroes son