Fall Break- Monday

Monday the kids had to go back to school. We were so sad. But we knew we wanted to play a bit. So we had one activity planned a day for while we were there. We got up and Grayson wasn't feeling so well. And he spent his morning throwing up. I was so frustrated. He has not been doing awesome the last little bit and his energy once we got to Utah really dropped. ( After we got home, the hematologist was a bit worried and he said that it was because of the elevation. So it wasn't a surprise)

We got him feeling better and we went to the park, where we happened to run into the Fire Marshall for the town. So he took us over to the fire house. Where Grayson was in fire man heaven. He was so excited. I was just hoping no one else would puke!!

I knew the fireman that belonged in the coat above and he was the smallest one of the group, so I put it on my kiddo. He was so in love. He loved it. 

We were sitting on the inside of the blue fire truck and we were trying to honk the horn. The fire marshall said you have to pull hard, so I pulled hard..... and broke the fire truck. It was awesome. I think I was Grayson hero that day. 

After we saw the fire trucks it was almost time for the kids to come home. So we went to grandpa's and hung out till the boys got there to play. My kids chased the naughty cat named Beckham, They loved it. 

Private... not private... Private... NOT private

Blogging is NO fun if no one gets to read it. Other than myself, whom I find awesome *sarcasm* and maybe my mom, it is nice to log on to my blog and see that 400 people were directed by a link on facebook.

However, what is not awesome is that 400 of those people (exaggerations may or may not be involved in the postings) came from a specific person in reference to a “story” ( that has since been taken out) because they thought I was being petty for remembering certain events, sights and smells.

So that said. Here is MY side of the story as I know it happened. And then MOVE ON!!!!!!! !

On my BIRTHDAY a post was written called Eventually. It talked about how I struggle with PTSD and how it makes me remember things in VIVID detail. I referenced several instances that stand out the most in a 93 day stay in the NICU. I have since deleted the one that caused the wave to go by. But before doing so, this was on someone’s page, in which she shares a last name and well, hasn’t been very nice.

Her post on her face book said:  need some advice. When someone starts a story with "in 2004, you said something that hurt my feelings." Do you take them seriously?!?!?! Take a deep breath in a LET IT Go 

The idea that she recognized that the person was her in my “story” showed me that she knew she had done something that may or may not have hurt my feelings. It wasn’t what she said that hurt my feelings it was the actions. And because of the situation I was in ( in the NICU standing next to a person who treated me HORRIBLE when they found out I was pregnant, and she was pregnant as well) complaining about her pregnancy, while my sick baby lay in a incubator. Where my nurse *thank you LISA!* Sat back and made an excuse for that sweet baby to not be held by that person for a long period of time. 

Why do I remember those things. Because it was MY story. It was MY life. It was how I felt sitting in those rooms day in and day out making THOSE choices for my child. It was the war zone that I was put through that made me defensive. So I do remember what people were wearing, what smells were in the NICU. I don’t know what she was wearing and I am sure she smelled cleaned, but the NICU left a burning smell  in my nose for 8 years. It has left me with wounds far deeper than anyone knows. 

So while the responses to this “sweet” person was about how horrible of a person I was that I would remember etc, they don’t know the person behind the pain and the pain that the “sweet” person you are throwing comfort at has done behind the scenes to this family. 

So I put my blog private so they had no access to what was going on in our lives and the hospital stay we were going into. It was none of their business. But then things have come up that I know I want to write about and I am done doing the nice thing and pretending that they are amazing people. So I am putting out there that this was not something that was nice to me. 


PTSD is real for me. It was very apparent sitting next to the Narcan on Ty’s table that this is not something that every parent gets to hug at night in hopes to keep their child here one more day. So if you want to make fun of me for remembering that I said please and thank you to my nurse, that I ate oreo cookies and had grape juice in  bed with Dallas and a nurse came in and talked to us, and I remember the names of the people who came to see us and I remember when you hurt my feelings, GOOD FOR ME. You can put wool over all those peoples eyes. But until then, stop being mean. You are the mean one for not understand that by deleting the paragraph  the blog was still in perfectly finished history. It didn’t need your abuse in it. So someday, we might just forget that you were insensitive that day 8 years ago ( not in 2004 like you say be cause our kids were born in 2005) Or we might not, because you will keep on being insensitive and rude more. Either way, we will be judged so why not put it out there in black and white so that we can send more of your “friends” over for conversations regarding me and my family.  


So I am sure you will all feel the need to come back and see if those people are now  getting more of the story. Because there is more to the story. 

Nice person was there for me during fertility treatments as was I for her. But one day we got pregnant. We were scheduling for a hysterectomy and I was pregnant. She flipped out and stop talking to me because how dare I get pregnant and them not. 

Or how we are an eternal family but we weren’t invited to the sealing of their last child because she didn’t want us there. 

Yep. I can see how she is a loving caring person to those around her. 

The Fun Part

While we were in Utah it wasn’t all meant to be doom and gloom and sadness and surgeries. Our whole plan was to do the surgery and happily play the REST of the week with every person that we could pack into our lives that loves us and we love them.

Wednesday was the day that I was planning on going to UVU and U of U to get my transcripts and get them sent to ASU. You see, I am going back to school. I have about a year before my bachelors is complete and I am aiming towards the Physician Assistant schools here in Arizona. I have passed all the classes needs, my GPA doesn’t suck and I need to do 2 classes and take the GRE as I apply around. So that is our “goal.”  Well, that didn’t work out to get to the schools. Do to some poor management of time I ended up doing nothing that day until my mom and dad got up to the city.

Us at Grandpa Browns. Ipads were the BEST invention in my entire lifetime. THANK YOU STEVE JOBS!

We pulled into my sisters house and I just started crying. I had had a very emotional 2 days and between Tyler’s  surgery and the accident back in Arizona I was a mess. Just low, low. My dad had been invited to a basketball game with my brother and his two cute M and M’s. We were hoping that his wife would come down with the other 2 boys, but they didn’t. So, we all packed up into 2 cars and went to Chuck A Rama Buffett. ( and eatting at a buffet ensured I could eat my feelings:) )That way I didn’t have to worry about finding food for my kids, neither did anyone and my kids are insanely picky and loud and crazy. So why not let them go someplace that had room enough and people enough to make sure no one died!

We had the BEST time. I LOVE my sisters. Holy crap are they insane people. We are like every other family and we have sister fights and we are mean and terrible sometimes. But at the end of the day, we have all three come to realize that we are sisters. We only have each other. And my mom was there.. laughing harder than she has in a long time. My kids LOVE her!

On top of my awesome sisters, Tyler was the lively hood of the party. He has a wonderful song about Becky. He will sing it if you ask him.  Her name is Becky from Sir Mix A Lots “I like big butts song” and that song is his favorite to start singing in public. He has so many things he says that just makes everyone giggle.

Every time someone would ask him to stop, he would say “ Hammer time” or “Stop collaborate and listen.” Just making the rest of us bust up longer.

After dinner we dropped off my sisters kids and we went to Nicky’s house. We were lucky to catch a glimpse of M and M before they were dashed away to Logan. We sure miss them, when we are all together. Little Max is my best friend. I love that kid. His little sparkle in his eyes really just melt me.  And I REALLY miss my Brother a lot. He is such a smart and loving guy. He has helped me so much and been a great inspiration for wanting to go back to school and excel. He is a great guy.

It was getting late, and so my sweet dudes were ready to go to sleep. Nothing horribly exciting, just emotional. But I was exhausted and needed a good nights sleep.

A day to remember

As most of you know our family is LDS or Mormon. Most who read this blog are probably family or stalkers. But either way, we are what we are! While we were struggling with infertility we had a family member and their family that also struggled with it ( and still do.) While we have and will have infertility issues, we have/will be coming to a conclusion in NOT adding MORE children to our home, but the other family is well on their way to wanting to be the Duggar's ( ok not really. But a few new people would be nice!)

While our pregnancy was very difficult for them, around May they received a call that they had a baby waiting for them and to come pick him up. They lived across the country, but drove to get him. Sure enough a baby boy was VERY welcomed into their family and into OURS. We love this little boy.

I don't think I prayed more for another person to have a baby than this family. Honestly, when we had exhausted our begging for a baby for us and we found out about Grayson, I turned my begging for this sweet family. I was so happy that he got here before Grayson and that he was going to someone who truly wanted him and loved him before he got here.

Baby Isaac was officially a Labrum on December 7th. Though he was ours the second he was born, legally he is a Labrum. Over the Christmas break Dallas and I were able to watch them be sealed as a family. ( An ordinance that we do in our sacred Temples. Feel free to ask or request Missionaries to your home to discuss/invite/convert/baptize/) ( PS.. I was NOT kidding.. click to have some nice 19 year old boys or girls come teach you!!)

The look on my brothers face as all of his children were there in a sacred room to be told that they are a forever family no matter what is and was amazing. His sweet wife couldn't hold back the tears as a child that was so wanted came right on in, happy as could be.

We enjoyed the rest of the afternoon with them. It was an amazing experience with such sweet and cute little bugs!

It doesn't happen often enough but I do have a testimony of the Gospel. The experience above happened to us when Tyler was not very old. Having a piece of paper that says him and Grayson are Mine not just for Time but for all eternity is priceless. It makes me so happy to know that they are entrusted to me. I know that they are mine. I know that the sealing power is true.

A big heartfelt thank you to the Birth mom of sweet Isaac and for what she has done for us, them and for Isaac. Thank you!.

To learn more about my awesomeness brother go HERE. His wife journals their life but their adoption and fertility journal is in there too.

Their adoption agency is here. And if you have lots of questions Chantel ( the awesomeness that makes my brother) is always open to answering them.

Oh and I wasn't kidding... Please have a representative of the LDS church come over. It is totally cool. Just be nice. Offer them lemonade or something.

Easter stuff

*I didn't pull out my camera ONCE over the holiday so every picture is stolen from my sister and ran through light room. Your welcome!*

When my parents came into town on Thursday they were given 2 free nights at their favorite ( and the KIDS favorite) hotel. It has a water park in it and it gives hours of entertainment for the kiddos.

After I got back from my appointment we all went up to go swimming. My mom took Ty so I could met up Dallas for sushi. ( I even ate rolls and it was FABULOUS!) I took off after dinner and left D to go swimming. Ty wasn't having much of it and didn't stay as long as the rest. We left and he was crying about being hungry for a while. When he got home he said he wanted a Donut. (Thanks again for the food ranch donuts!)

He slept in his OWN bed all night and seemed to be more refreshed from sleeping than he had been the day before. His energy piddled after Shriner's but we headed to the National Kidney foundation Easter Egg Hunt. It was at the Salt lake Library and was very crowded and worked great for the kids. Ty had lots of help from his Cousin Lexi.

We ran some errands and ended up back at the Hotel for a night of swimming and pizza. We came equipped with pool toys and ended up having a good time. Tyler's toy was borrowed by some kid so he took their toy. He just sort of hung out. He loved it.

Saturday everyone came here for a little easterin. Dallas and I had to run an errand and when we got back it was JUST in time for lunch so we missed all the festivities. ( hence why I had to steal photos!) They colored Easter eggs and had a Easter egg hunt in the back yard since it was COLD. Ty got a bat and a ball and he hasn't let it down since.

Sunday we did NOTHING. Literally. After the weekend we needed a day where we made it to bed on time, took naps and just was a family. Dallas snuck out of the room after I feel asleep on Sunday morning and I took a way long nap and Ty was SUCH a happy camper. We played baseball, picked up messes and was not required to do or be anywhere. Just what the doctor ordered!

Thanksgiving-

I really like Thanksgiving and have many wonderful memories of having Thanksgiving with my Grandpa Rue in his wood shop and at the Labrum's in Logan. It's funny, I remember going to both sides and "sharing" but I mostly remember the times with my mom's family.

I am glad to be back to Utah and in the last 2 years we have now been with both families. Because my mom lives so far ( like 2 WHOLE hours) they decided to come up to my house and have my sisters come. ( My brother lives out of state) We also had my mom's sister Linda come with us too.

My mom and dad drove up early and got here to start cooking around 8 am. My mom and I literally cooked up to the time to eat. I got a shower in at the LAST second. My house is not large by any means and we had about 12 people here. It was full and fun!

My sister and her kids were here. Tyler was so excited. He wanted Lexi to come and play basketball all week and he LOVES having the "kids" over to play. As soon as they get here they are all off upstairs playing. ( playing is relative!)

We had a great dinner that tasted so yummy. It was so good and had all the trimmings. We had some lovely entertainment from Tyler and his story telling. He kept calling his Aunt Nicky, Nicky poo poo. He demanded everyone clap and would keep going when people laughed.

After dinner we sat around, laughed and talked. After all the playing and laughing my sister and Aunt Linda had to leave. Ty had played with the kids so much he curled up on my dads lap and he rocked with him for a little bit.

Bed time was a well deserved rest for me. I fell asleep after just a few minutes. Ready to take on the next day of tying quilts and enjoying my mom and sisters. The kids came and entertained Tyler and they had so much fun.

Tyler is such a follower. He would follow my sisters kids anywhere if they let him. They are really good to him. It is nice to see him enjoy the company. Poor Lexi was dragged from here to there and he would look at her and say PWEASE and she would smile and go along.

We tied a quilt for Dallas and Lexi stayed the night to have a "Spa night" with Nana. We ate burgers, painted her nails, did a huge bubble bath with the jet spa tub and she did wax stuff on her hands. She stayed up late eating popcorn and watching movies. ( I did not however get a photo!)

Saturday was a busy day of quilt tying. We did 4 of them and the kids will be so excited when Christmas comes. Ty was totally excited for yet another full day of "kids" to play. We knew Sunday was gonna be a rough one!

Today ( Sunday) we cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. My house had a whole thing of yarn on the floor! Ty was without playmates for the first time in a week. He was so cute and kept asking Dallas for a brother or sister to play. As IF we could go to the store and get one!

Stay tuned for blizzard pictures and an update from the neurosurgeon

Pumpkin Pants

My mom is a MASTER educator. She is such a good teacher. She makes me laugh. She is at school till 6 ever single night and can be found there as early as 7 am give or take an hour. EVEN when she calls me wondering why I am not answering at 7:3o am we forgive her diligence.

UEA rolled around and this year I was so proud of her for attending. She is such a good teacher and she always looks for ways to better herself and teach those kids in her class. The best part, she keeps us on our toes in ways we can to do better for those sweet kids she loves more than me! (aka grand kids)

Also with UEA comes a time that I am SURE will become traditions because we like it and it leaves something to be talked about for days and days. ( and DAYS!!!!!!)

My mom and dad got a hotel in Salt Lake that has a water park. YES! A water park. And POOR super sad baby who HATES the water. ( NOT!) He was ecstatic to play in it. It also gave him a chance to do something he has never ever ever done in my obsessed and paranoid and demented mind... Chuckie cheese.( EWWWW GROSS!!) Seriously, I could feel the infestation of ecoli and rotovirus and chlamydia ( OK, maybe not chlamydia... but something way, way worse) all over. I almost threw up. But I allowed my child to enjoy the games of throwing balls, getting tickets and turning them in for a cheap blow up hammer toy that he runs around screaming BAM BAM with! He did love it. He loved playing the games. The balls and basketballs were a great addition for him

( The down fall of chuckie cheese other than the germs... It is NOT a handicapped accessible place. Several children were in wheelchairs and they are very limited to games and the space between those games was, well, not wheelchair friendly. But giving our tickets to them made them excited.)

My dad enjoyed the games at chuckie cheese almost as much as the kids. He would be founds shooting hoops, throwing balls, playing games and there would be no such grandkid around him. Always a kid at heart!

He took turns getting his picture drawn by the chuckie cheese machine and he helped Tyler do all he wanted to do. Grandpa also rocked at the basketball game.

We sat down to eat pizza, played the rest of our tickets and coins and headed off to the above mentioned hotel with a pool. Ty was so excited.

When we got to the hotel we had a minor Poop incident ( NOT by Tyler) that we were glad to have been able to get in a chlorinated place quickly. ( We washed it off before but it was still stinky!) ( again NOT Tyler!)

Ty was in the water before anyone else was in there to keep him safe. He had such a great time. He swam, went on the slide, wanted to go in the water that was too deep and splash, splash splash.

He was the first one "done" in which he declared " Tywer Sweepy" and he sat on the chair trying to get warm. Then off we went home.

The next day was so, so, so much fun. D is sad he had to work and missed all the cool stuff.

We went to Wheeler farm for their pumpkin and corn maze and fall festival. The tickets included a pumpkin, access to the maze, a hay ride and if you wanted to spend a little extra a horse ride.

When we left D that morning we told him that we were going to go to a pumpkin patch. Tyler couldn't say patch so he kept telling D we were going to the pumpkin pants. Then we were off.

Wheeler farm has a lot of things for kids to do. We went one time when Ty was little and he was afraid of everything. So we were hopeful that he would have a good time. When I told him that we could feed the ducks he was on a one track mind.

Ty was fine without putting his hand in the fence but his cousin, Lexi, wanted to try but would get nervous as the duck came forward so I tried it out a little bit. Ty really liked them.

Next we walked towards the cows. There was a few stops we needed and wanted to make before then but Tyler and Koy weren't really into walking around a house that you can't touch anything and run and jump so we played outside for a minute.

Then it was off to the real fun stuff. The boys wanted to see and ride the horses so we headed toward the horses. Tyler was not sure at first if he wanted to ride one so as Koy and Lexi got on, we ( me and Kayden and Tyler) walked down to were we could feed the horses. He loved it. He was fine with me putting my whole hand in the horses mouth and he got close enough to pet them .

As we were walking back my dad asked Tyler if he wanted to ride the horse and he said yes. Plain as day. So my dad was nice and paid the 3 bucks for him to ride. I was so worried that he would pay the money and Ty gets put on the horse and a freak out would start that he would have paid the money for nothing.

But to EVERY ONES surprise he LOVED IT!!

My dad told him to put his his hands "Right here" ( on the horn) and he did. It was so sweet. I love that kid! Everything is SOOO literal sometimes.

Tyler did ride side saddle. Those cute, darn legs wouldn't separate enough to fully "ride" the horse but Grandpa, who is a farmer at heart, was more than willing to walk next to Tyler. I am not sure who was more excited, Grandpa or Tyler!

We headed back toward the hay ride and Tyler went to see the cows. He loves the animals. He for SURE didn't use to. He stood and watched them for a while. Then it was time for a hayride. But first he had to drive the Tractor!

Kayden asked if we could go ride on the red one. I kindly told him we don't ride red tractors in this family so he would have to stick to green. ( Sorry Aunt Chantel, fact of life. We bleed green!)

Lexi was so helpful with Tyler. She was trying to "teach" him how to drive. He was OK with her helping but he really really wanted to do it himself.

We finally got to the part where he could go to the pumpkin "pants" he was so happy.

Grandpa helped him threw the corn maze ( what a TROOPER) and into pick himself a pumpkin.

(The last photo and the light was way off.. so you have to get a different color one. Sorry!!)

After the LONG day Tyler was exhausted but he went with Grandma and grandpa so that mom and dad could go attend a temple session. ( Which by the way was amazing!!) He finished the night off with his cousins swimming and then he crashed while waiting to get picked up. He had the best time. He came home, ate oatmeal and we all went to bed.

It was wonderful to see him enjoy so many new things. We learned have learned a lot the last year and are thankful we are willing to have a possible meltdown in order to see Tyler like new things. One thing I did decide. We are getting way to desperate for a new stroller for Tyler. ( Not to mention my sisters kids who would prefer to ride!! )

I guess it is my turn

Our Thanksgiving was so much fun. Mostly the Friday after but Thanksgiving was really yummy.

We had dinner at Dallas parents house this year. It was the first year back and it was nice to spend it with Family. I worked until 2 so Dallas and Tyler went without me. Dinner was held up an hour for me to get there but it worked out great and Tyler did awesome. Dinner was yummy and I even rocked the yams/sweet potatoes with a made up recipe that pretty much every at least tried.

Friday was the best! I worked at 4:45 am and I swear on my life I HATE Black Friday. What makes me the most sad is that women are nasty nasty when it comes to "saving money." ANYWAY. I went home, got Dallas and Tyler going for the day and I napped for 2 hours. It was great! Got a turkey started and vacuumed the house. Ty was having ALLLLLLLLLL his cousins over. Not just the Gales but the LABRUMS!

We got family pictures ( ok just the kids) and I fell madly in love with the Labrums. I haven't seen them in almost 4 years. Morgan was 2. Max was 0. I have only "met" Max ONCE. They live far far away and it makes me sad. But I got to take their pictures.

We ate dinner at my house and then went swimming with all the grand kids. Morgan has her own fan club named Tyler and I think she secretly liked it. Max was just cute. And Tammy's kids ( especially Lexi) are so sweet with Tyler. Morgan kept saying " I LOVE this" when we would all laugh. I think she mostly liked that you could trash Nana's house and she never yelled :)

I am really thankful for my family. We had a really great time. I am thankful that I have become friends with my sister in law! She would laugh and no one would EVER guess we would be friends but she rocks. And she makes cute kids. I can't WAIT for them to move back .

( one you haven't seen... I know I know HURRY) They should be done by the end of the weekend.. maybe ;)

My Daddy

"Those things which we call extraordinary, remarkable, or unusual may make history, but they do not make real life. After all, to do well those things which God ordained to be the common lot of all mankind, is the truest greatness. To be a successful father or a successful mother is greater than to be a successful general or a successful statesman." Joseph F. Smith

Today is My dads birthday. Tomorrow is my moms. So they get separate posts. But today I just wanted to let my dad know that I love him. That times get tough and people get mad and people go through rough times but in the end it is family.

It is always about family.

That is what I have learned from my dad.

Because of him I have learned that raising a family and having children and teaching those children is exactly what I should be doing. That as I raise my children that their needs, wants and desires are what I need to strive to make happen.

When I was in the hospital having Tyler my in laws called my parents to tell them that Ty was coming and coming now. They immediately left. They brought my older sister who was living there at the time because family is so important to them. They called my younger sister to go up there. He was a rock but at the same time, he melted.


He saw pain, suffering and was totally helpless. He couldn't take away what was happening to me. Then kicked in the grandfather part. His melting was because he couldn't take away the pain that was being inflicted on MY child. His Grandson. The above photo was the first time that they were able to hold Tyler. Obviously it was a while after he was born. They patiently would come up to the NICU weekend after weekend, spare day after spare day to stand by a plastic box and watch. Never getting the luxury of holding. One day I walked out and asked if they were ready to have the best gift ever. My dad got to go first. As tears streamed down his face he sat there with my son. He held him close. He smiled. He smelled. And he loved.





Through the years as Ty got bigger grandpa never saw the deficits that were there. He saw a sweet little boy with a spirit to big for his little body. He never criticized, never spoke ill and never once didn't love him. He would bring him John Deere, he would feed him candy and he would love him.

Just like he did me.

It was and is a cycle that my dad could repeat a million times for as many children as he can



For my dad there is never to many rocks in the world that he wouldn't give for Ty to throw. Or enough hugs to go around.

There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't get down on his broken knees and pray for each one of us. Indivdually. One by one. Hour by hour.

Several times on my mission I got letters from my dad. His testimony of the gospel is unshaken. Its unmovable. Its like a rock. A rock big enough that he would stand on the edge if it meant one of us was able to be in the middle. On strong ground.




He will hold your hand. He will help you. He will and does love each of us.

We hope you have a Wonderful Day and that we will see you in a few weeks.


Happy Birthday.

Dallas. Nancy and Tyler

Thank you Cousin Max and Morgan ( and Aunt Chantel and Uncle Barrett)

Since Max and Morgan can't read we will thank Barrett and Chantel for sending an EARLY birthday present for Tyler (despite my lack of timely cards/gifts for Barrett, and major early ones for Little Morgan)

A special thanks for the cute little froggie for Tyler. Once we got it out of the box my naked nudist decided he wanted to try ( after I unlocked the door) and he went out in the buff.

I sent a few photos to the Labrums, but I really wanted to show everyone just how cute the gift was and how much Tyler LOVED it.





I have a TON more but unfortunately he is VERY in the nude and the neighbors saw the streaker so I had to be selective...

THANKS A MILLION!! He loves it! ( even with no Grass Barrett)