Baby Grayson- The sitter

Baby Grayson is the cutest thing in the entire WORLD!! Ok, ONE of the cutest things in the entire world. We are so happy to have him in our home and some day he will want to let someone else hold him and kiss on him and MAYBE even feed him. But till then, oh the smiles we get.

To make it even more exciting and fun and heart happy, he is SITTING. We still topple now and then but overall we are upright and VERY happy. He is definitely loving it and so am I!! He loves to be where he can see everything and would rather DIE than take a nap. But he is SOOOO much fun and so stinking cute.

And just so we don't spew unicorns and glitter he also has a mommy problem, a boob problem and likes to be held... but who can resist THIS!!!

1 Month old.. baby Grayson

Can you believe that Grayson has been with us for a MONTH! What a month. We love him so much and are so thankful that he is here. There are some major adjusting going on in this house but none the less we are grateful for the blessing that he is.

At his "man" appointment he had gained a pound and a little more. Huge blessing for me to see the numbers going up. With Tyler I tried and tried to give him breast milk but it didn't really work. Not for lack of trying. I think the stress and the situation didn't help. But this time I was determined to feed this toot and a month into it and we have given him a few swigs of formula ( WHICH HE HATES and ends up gagging or over eating to spillage of vomit) but otherwise it is all me! ( he does get bottles but I pump. A lot. But I am actually GETTING stuff this time)

He as reflux. Poor kid is so sad some days. When we finally got 2 meds going he had cried himself hoarse. It was sad. Now he does really great and even better when someone is holding him... all day. Nights, are nights. He wakes up a lot and he eats and he goes to sleep. He cries a lot in the early mornings but I think I know why at this point and we will see what we can do.

Overall he is such a miracle and a blessing. After the struggle to actually get pregnant and the struggle we have staying pregnant, I can't even begin to express how much this little boy means to us. I thank my Heavenly Father Daily... and multiple times for both of the boys.

Vomit Volcano

Once upon a time in a far away place ( OK.. not so far away!) there was a Small mountain. It was not very big. It was the baby mountain. All it did was eat and sleep and poop.( Oh and cry... and did we mention cry and make noises.) Then one day the village people ( yes, the REAL village people) Realized that this volcano was going to erupt... and boy did it.

Grayson has reflux. Badly. The other day as we were trying to get the right meds in his body he literally cried all day. It made me so sad. Dallas was in New York, Ty was as good as he could be, but poor Baby was so sad.

It seems we have it under control. He is on 2 meds, zantac and prevacid, 2 times a day. It has stopped the crying after the vomit but not the vomit. He pukes a lot. Like just tip him over and let the puke roll off the bib amount.

He is doing great otherwise. I just wish I could fix the other stuff.

The volcano now just erupts.... with no burning acid... Just STUFF!

A broken heart..... that can be fixed!

We had mentioned in a previous post that we needed to take Grayson to see a cardiologist. His pediatrician heard a murmur and couldn't tell what it was. It was not a PDA or a PFO which are all somewhat "normal" in babies. It didn't have us to worried. However, the family history did make it a little more concerning.

We were able to get into the cardiologist very quickly. ( 2 days!!) And we were able to get some really good information and figure out what exactly was there.

The Doctor was really nice and I felt he was really thorough. Ty doesn't see a cardiologist so I have no idea what is normal but I felt really comfortable what he was doing and what time he took to explain everything.

After listening to his heart he explained that Grayson has Peripheal Pulmonary stenosis. It isn't anything that will cause him major or long term issues. It is generally heard in babies that are smaller than seven pounds and after a few months the pulmonary vessel grows and gets larger and the murmur goes away! Unless there is a different genetic condition there isn't any long term issues. He doesn't have those genetic conditions.

While he was listening to his heart he heard a strange clicking noise and decided, given family history, he would like a ECHO done and we went in to do it. I think ECHO's are cool to watch and I have NO idea what I am looking at. I hate that the tech's can't say anything so I just sat there watching. Give me a brain to look at any day and I can tell you a little about what I see but not a heart.

(I sat waiting forever for the doc to come back in. Dallas was getting ready to fly to New York and we were cutting it close. Our appointment started at 8 and I wanted to be home to get him at 11. I didn't get home till 11:30)

When the doctor came in he said that Grayson looked fine. We need to go back in six months. The ECHO showed the stenosis and it showed a PFO but he couldn't hear the PFO so he is assuming that the click is just how Grayson is. The heart is doing great. He doesn't love the fact that he has a few other "symptoms" that indicate an issue but he can't see anything wrong.

I left feeling so thankful. Many prayers have been answered.

Next up... Vomit Volcano, New York and Tyler goes to school. ( In no particular order!)

Baby Grayson- 2 weeks

It is so weird that our sweet baby has been here for 2 weeks. It feels like forever yet I still feel like I could get another week of recovery in. ( I didn't really "get" a recovery either.. so I think I really just need a nap every now and then.)

I would love to say Grayson inherited my sleep gene but that would be a lie. He seems to do a great job taking after his brother and dad. It is still early and he is still learning. He does have some fussy times and he has a smidgen of reflux that makes him so sad. But we are dealing with those. It does give me a chance to love on him at night and to sleep with him nice and tight in my arms. Makes me feel safe to have one ( or all) of the boys in bed with me.

We went for his 2 weeks appointment today. D was able to stay home with Tyler where they ran some errands and I did the yucky stuff. It was his "manhood" appointment and metabolic tests. ( I don't want to put the other word cause sicko's might google) That is ONE medical thing I cannot watch. I feel horrible doing it to them and HATE the aftermath but it is a informed decision ( YES... I feel informed) that we have made. So instead I will have a sad little boy on my hands for a few days.

The metabolic screening was not a huge deal. The nurse had to poke him 2 times because he clots really well. She felt so bad. I guess the state is really big on making sure the bubbles are filled in JUST right. If not, they send them back so we got to milk and poke on Grayson's poor heels.

The big bonus is he has grown. Our 6 day appointment was because we didn't have our pediatrician at the hospital so we "checked in" with them. Really I think Marisa and Nurse Jen ( both our favorite people EVER!) wanted to peek at Grayson in person. He weighed in on day six as 5 lbs 11 ounces. I had some drama over breastfeeding and the NICU mom freaking out and we found that Grayson has actually gained a lot of weight. So today he weighed in at 6 lbs 13 ounces. He is above his birth weight. He is still small but getting bigger!

The downer of the day. ( It wouldn't be one of my kids if there wasn't SOMETHING ) Grayson has a heart murmur. I jokingly asked if it was a PFO or a PDA and she said no. It was a little more serious than that and wanted to be sure. We are set up to see a Cardiologist on Tuesday to have his heart checked. Given the history of events in the family it is going to be better safe than sorry. It isn't brain surgery :) So I am hoping that I can deal with whatever might come. At least it isn't so severe that he was in the NICU for it.

Grayson is getting big and is still as cute as ever. We love the relationship him and Ty are gaining. I am thankful for so many things right now. But most glad that everything is going OK!

Tyler the Big Brother

Ty is doing so much better with Grayson. He has finally decided he isn't such a bad kid after all. We got him to sit by him in his Mickey Mouse Chair. It didn't last very long but it was better than the nothing we had had before.

A few nights ago we tricked him into holding him. Up until that point he would always tell us no. We asked if he would sing a song to him. We then just kinda put the kid in his arms and as soon as the song was over he totally threw Grayson towards his dad.

Tyler does really well just being around Grayson but doing things WITH him is pretty much non existent. We have tried to give Tyler his space and his own time. We do his night routine with just him ( if possible) and we put him in bed alone.

Last night while we were getting ready for bed we added Grayson and his bath to the mix. Tyler stood at the sink washing his hair and his body. He LOVED it. Then we put clean Jammie's on both of them and they hung out in our bed.

I think that as time goes on they might actually like each other. I know D and I both love them.

Once a NICU mom.....

ALWAYS a NICU mom.

No matter what there are so many things I think about that are out of the "norm." I half laugh when I catch myself.

1: Grayson was feeling really hot the other day. I went to the drawer and got out the thermometer. I almost took his temperature. Not kidding! Instead I put it back and took a deep breathe and realized that this wasn't normal, he had been sleeping upstairs in the hot room and slowly backed away.

2: I have googled looking for the exact amount of poopy diapers a breastfeed baby should have. I have even clicked on images to make sure it looked EXACTLY like it should.

3: I don't mind taking him out in public if no one is around and we have LOTS of open space. Tomorrow is church and it makes me cringe to think of having people hoover..... How long is to long to wait?

4: I have looked up RSV season start times and times we can all get the flu shot. I am half tempted to require anyone who enters my house to show proof of Pertussis immunity. ( Yeah not kidding. Please family get your pertussis vaccine. And don't come to my house sick.. GOT IT!)

5: I worry about how much is going in to my kid. Not just the amount of time he feeds, the amount he feeds but exactly how many calories. Like I know how many calories and ounce breast milk is. I know how many calories formula is for and ounce. I wonder if we are gaining enough. So much so if the scale wasn't covered in my laundry room and Dallas has been around I probably would have checked to see if we have gained.

Most I worry that he is choking or not breathing. Because there is no bottle at night and it is just me he tends to sleep right next to me. I love it but hate it. There is no monitor telling me he is fine. Nothing but me to make sure he is safe from harms way.

But no worries. His temp is in the normal range... and his calories are looking good :)