Heart Broken

I am just sick tonight. Not physically sick but heart sick. As you all know we started water therapy and have been attending 3 days a week. When we first got the approval it was for 60 visits. We got there today and our insurance has decided that having a diagnosis for CP makes it so Tyler has a chronic condition that can't be "fixed" so they will no longer pay for therapy. He gets 2 more visits and then we have none.

They (insurance) have denied Tyler AFO's for his feet saying they were cosmetic. They are not needed. I found a way to get them. I found a way.....

When we ordered a walker I thought for sure they would cover it. After all they will buy a wheelchair. But nope. Not covered. Why? It is considered a "gait trainer" meaning it is to help him learn to walk. And yep, our insurance denied it. Saying they don't pay for things like that but we can have a wheelchair it is covered. So, I found a way.

Now comes this. The therapy is working. He has done some major changing on how is feet are positioning. He is more stable. He takes more steps. And now they are telling me that because of a ugly ugly word he has no chance. He is a Little boy. Why deny him the world.

So I guess I do what I have done all along. Find a way. Work more hours, spend less money, something to pay for hope. I found hope in this new therapy. Not frustration but a glimpse of what he can do. I saw progress that we hadn't seen in a year.


But ... they will buy him a wheelchair!


Can't a mom dream... I just want my son to walk!

Tales of the Woes... I mean Toes :(

For those reading you know that Ty is almost 2 and a half ( and we start transitioning to preschool in a week ) and still thinks that crawling is the way to go. We are working on using the walker but temper tantrums are frequent right now. Frankly, it is just getting so frustrating I am getting a little discouraged.

Ty is obsessed with going outside. Thank goodness I have my respite worker here during the day because he makes me exhausted. I digress, Ty has spent the last several days at the park. Then home for a nap then off to therapy for an hour in the pool. Well, during his park time the last couple of days he has gotten VERY frustrated. Not sure what he gets frustrated at but I have my "ideas". His body doesn't move the way he wants them to. I get tired lifting him onto the top of the slide... the list goes on. So instead of using words to vocalize his anger crawls over to the squishy black stuff and bangs his head on the ground. That leaves a nice little road rash scratch on his head. Its not a great picture of the road rash on his forehead but it is there. Poor Bubba!!

Every time we put him in his walker he gets upset and throws a tempter tantrums. Sometimes that makes it so he throws himself backwards and tips it over on himself. It makes him less likely to get in it the next time. It also makes him start to crawl on whatever cement or black top there is around trying to get away from the walker. Leaving a nice scrap on his knees OR a hole in his shorts. We have now gone through 3 pairs of shorts and it is only April. It is going to be a long summer!

Due to his obsession of going outside sometimes he crawls in and out of the back door. Due to this obsession he sometimes doesn't have shoes on. It has now left road rash on his poor feet. When we try to put socks on it bleeds and he cries because it burns. Not to mention the pain of putting on those afo's that are suppose to help him. He won't put on sandals either because they brush right on his owies. The road rash is the red part on his big and 2nd toe. The other "dirt" is a bandaid that didn't come off. Seriously this stuff bleeds. Any suggestions?

And last but not least... Because of his water obsession and the fact that he is the cleanest kid in America and takes a million showers AND his water therapy he is suffering from a horrible case of Eczema. It looks awful and the rough red patches are found all over is little body. He is covered in steroid cream. Poor kid. His leg has cream on it in the picture but he is as dry as a bone.


OK that the tales I have to tell. I feel so bad that my little guy can't walk. He is such a fighter. I just wish that there was something more I could do to help him. I wish I could make it easy for him

AvonHELL!!!

Yesterday we took the "short" 53 mile drive to Avondale. Avondale is THROUGH and on the OTHER SIDE of Phoenix. It took about an hour. It was pretty pleasant but not what I wanted to do. We found the location of the lot pretty fast and had no problem getting there.

After talking to the Service guy we got the key to my car and we decided to get on our way. Dallas had the seat in the car so he took Ty. While heading toward the entrance on the freeway I decided to keep going until the air conditioner got cool since that was part of the reason for taking it in. I drove up about 4 lights and the air was not getting any cooler. So, I headed back. Dallas called me and I told him I was headed back because it was not cooler. Him and Tyler had all ready gotten off the freeway and was waiting in a parking lot close to the dealer. So they met me there.

I got out of my car and went up to the above mentioned service guy. I told him that it didn't work. That I was not going to take home something that was suppose to be fixed. Service guy was very busy and very upset that the air didn't work. He said I could "take it home and bring it back at my convience." I said are you kidding. I have a disabled child that gets pukey when he gets hot. The response. " we have a disabled person working here on cars obviously and his name is ( insert name I don't remember.) I don't remember his name because I almost died. My mouth dropped open and the guy looked at me and he said "oh nothing against you son!" I was like HOLY COW.. My KID IS NOT RETARDED. He can't walk and pukes when it is hot... What an insult. I was then livid as the guy walked away from me. I walked into the creepy manager and told him that I was horribly insulted and they haven't done their job.

He tries to arrange for a rental car ( since that is what the warranty calls for) and he proceeds to get them AFTER they had closed. So no rental car. He said he couldn't do anything. He said to give him 15 minutes to see how long it would take to get my car in and running or to get a used car available for me to drive home to come back at "my convinience" during the week.

We went to lunch and came back. They were able to get the car done that day. They told us it would take them about an hour. I decided to wait. It was done in the time frame. While I was waiting the creepy manager who was standing just a little to close, came back in and said it was done. He offered me a free oil change. I said are you kidding me. I wouldn't drive to Avondale for a oil change. That was the dumbest thing I had ever heard. He then volunteered to fill my car up the rest of the way.

While he was out I got "wind" ( OK a sales person told me) that the general manager of the place was there that day. I went over and told him of the problem with what had happened and that I was appalled that they would treat a warranty customer that way and that they would treat a "person" that way. I also told him of the insult that was made. I was LIVID!!( the hour just made me mad.. didn't chill me out!)

The manager said at that point that if something happened to my car he would tow it to and from at their expense and that he would be sending us a gift card to us to our favorite restaurant. I should have told him about the super duper expensive BUT YUMMY restaurant in Scottsdale we love.. but only came up with Red lobster.

So, we are getting a dinner to Red Lobster. My AC works. And I don't have to drive BACK to Avondale. If it doesn't work I don't have to pay to get it back..or drive to Avondale again.

Sick and Tired... a rant.. by ME!!

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I feel great until the end of the day then I am sore and tired. I sit down in the day and yep.. I fall asleep. I try to have patience with Ty and low and behold temper tantrum central. His newest antic is to bang his head on the floor. Not just the nice carpet but the TILE in the KITCHEN. Yep.. I followed him in their this morning when he was mad and grabbed his expensive head as he banged it on the floor. That is a 100 k head.. Makes me SOOOO mad.

Dallas got hurt so he is in a lot of pain. It is frustrating because I know he is not feeling well but at the same time neither am I. I really really need a day to sleep in before I go back to work. I really NEED it.. I swear.

Speech was so frustrating for me today. He never seems to improve. I am so glad he can at least show me what he wants and can follow directions so that I am not so freaking frustrated. I know that it is just life. GRRRR!!!!!

It is frustrating to still be waiting on his walker. It has taken almost 3 months from the time we started this process for a 200 dollar piece of equipment that I volunteered to pay cash for. But because they have a contract with our insurance company Ty has to wait. 4 more weeks at least.. how frustrating for a small mount of Independence.

Oh not to mention I am sporting the Herpes look on my face. It is horibble and awful this time around. Not to mention it hurts like a beast. I just want to hide and cry...

Avondale? Are you kidding me!!!!

In July Before we left Salt Lake we had bought a new car. We were doing it for the warranty reason. We..... NO I have horrible luck with cars and I always have a crappy one. We bought a Suzuki Forenza. Not a HOT car but a good car with a decent warranty.

Fast forward.. It has LOW miles and I am pretty much the only person to drive it. Well, last week the check engine light went on and we went and got diagnostic testing on it and it tends to idle high so it is needing some adjusting. Then a few days later we realized the air conditioner isn't working. I realize most of you are still in the midst of winter but here gets a little warm. So we need it fixed before the real heat gets in. Then there are the 2 recalls that we have to get fixed.

I get online to check where the closest dealership is. Well..... AVONDALE. That is past freaking Phoenix. It takes an hour in NO traffic to get there. I have no idea how long it will take to fix what wrong with my car, not to mention the fact that they may need to order parts. Oh and the above mentioned light isn't exactly the safest feeling. So I call the main corporate number, Nope the website is right. No closer place. These are my only options.. dang warranty and free service.

So there is my vent. I am so mad. If there was no warranty it wouldn't matter to me.. but dang it.. its free.

Finally hitting.......

Work sucked today. I can't even begin to tell you how bad it has sucked this weekend. My head was somwhere else and I didn't want to be there not to mention how stressful the management has been the last 2 days.

For those that don't know, I am a supervisor there. I run the front end. Usually there are a few of us on shift at a time but there never seem to be enough of us. Someone is always needing the help. Not to mention how incredibly horrific some of the customers are. No offense walmart shoppers you are NOT nice. You treat the cashiers there with so much disrespect and disdain. They don't make a lot of money. Don't treat them badly. They are just there to do their job and try and do their best.

Our store is new. It is in an area that is not overly developed yet and the goal here in Arizona is have a Walmart of every exit on the 202. ( for those in Utah it would be like having a walmart off of every exit on either the I-15 or more closely the 2-15) Those who live in other places .. well every exit on your major freeway. There is a walmart up the street from us and there is a walmart going in between our house and where I currently work. (Not sure which is closer but it is starting to look so appealing.. even the hard manual labor of store set up) So there is not a lot of business at my current walmart. We do get busy.. but not like normal walmart busy. Anyway, being that it is my job to do lunches and breaks and have cashiers for the oh so pleasant walmart shoppers I get screwed. Tonight I was alone. There was no other supervisor to help out and we had 2... that is right 2 cashiers for the Sunday rush. Oh.. and let me tell you.. I had NO ONE.. that is right zero people at customer service and NO door greeters. Customer service closed at 8 PM tonight. People were PISSED.

So this is how my day went at work. Got there at 2 after plenty of melt downs with Ty. Not sure what his deal was but he had some issues all day today. ( at least with me.. I love him and not sure what the deal was. (Of course he stopped when Dallas came in to the picture...) When I got to work I walked past the shopping carts where there were a total of 4. I let management know we needed carts, went and clocked in and still no help. I went out on my own. I pushed carts and got told off by a few people. Not that they would bring their carts back after but whatever.

Next I became a cashier. Being told off again because some price somewhere was wrong and that I didn't have the ads for the people to price match. I then became the customer service person. She needed a lunch and apparently no one else was available.

No big deal. Then came the hard stuff. I was left alone to deal with the rest of the night and the rest of the pissed off people who had to stand in a line. It is just a line. You know when you go to walmart you will be there forever. We are trying. It isn't that we WANT to keep you all standing there getting even pissier. I thought the same thing till I worked there.. I really thought they did it on purpose. We don't.

My favorite line from a customer was that I should let Sam Walton know that the ads he is running on TV that claim to have more lines open and better customer service that we are false advertising. I didn't want to waste my breathe but 1. Sam Walton is dead. 2. We do have "more lines open" .. normally we would have one but I got a person to stay later. 3. There is no customer service. They went home!!

See I told you I was pissed.

Then we get to the break down part. Thats right.. I CRIED!! I was so mad at myself for crying. But I did. I cried. After running the store alone we get the night crew on. They are SOOO not my favorite at all. They left rotten food for the "day shift" last night because they were proving a point. What point? We don't have the people to help us get rid of it. You have more cashiers than I had all night and 23 customers all night. Back off and help out. As a team we sure don't work as one.

So .. that was the end of the night. It made me late and it made me upset. I got home and the boys are all asleep so I didn't even get to be with Dallas for a few kisses and hugs. There are dishes piled way to high to even know where to start. ( I will start them tommorow)

It is finally hitting the stress of the week and how scared I am. We need all the prayers we can get. I am so worried about Tyler having seizures. I can't see them but it isn't something that can't happen given his brain damage. The thought of one more thing to add to his long list is so hard for me right now. We need a break for him. He is such an amazing kid.. So.. those who read... send out the plea. Prayers for Tyler and that we are home FAST!!!

So that is my vent. I know that I am super sensitive. I am hormonal and have had hot flashes all day. I am more emotional than I normally would be an this shouldn't be a big deal.. but it is.

Ok.. I am done.. I feel somewhat better.

Don't you just love days like this!!!

Ok... I have had a horrible Day..well more like night. My day has been great.

So here it goes. The week has been absolutely amazing with Dallas being home the WHOLE week. I have loved it. We have spent some much needed time together. I wish we were heading out for a date but we won't be. That's ok. But the crappy blah no good night started as I headed off for work.

I was running a little late because I wanted to have a sit down dinner with Ty and D. I got dressed in my work clothes and headed off. I always hit the light to get on to the 202 so I go down one light and flip a U. It works great and I always beat the light. I head south on the 202 from our exit and get off 3 exits later. I get off on Power and stop at the light and turn left. No big deal right. I mean I do this 5 days a week and an extra day if we get paid. WRONG!!! Tonight some JERK HITS my car. He was not driving a small little passenger car but a HUGE truck. Like a dodge or chevy truck. We pulled under the over pass and get out. Luckily there is only a small dent and a scratch. There wasn't enough damage to call the police so I left. Of course NOT getting his information because I was so rattled about what happend.

Here is what the guy explained when we got out to look. He said he was sorry. His cell phone rang and he didn't know the number and he was looking to see who it was. He crossed over the line. Then he said I guess since there isn't any "real" damage we could go. He wasn't to worried ... It was only his work truck. I WAS PISSED!!!!

There isn't much damage done to my car but the rattled nerves were enough. So I get to work and of course I am late. Oh well. I talk to the manager on tonight and we deal with what we need to. I get called to the cash office and customer service. I get there and there are some people trying to make returns on stolen stuff. Of course it looks legit but there are some things that they won't do and so we get lots of yelling and it was a mess. I get that fire out and head into the cash office where we are told to audit a few registers. We do that and no problem. As we finish the man that we had trying to return stolen stuff comes back because he didn't get his money in the return. So we have to go sit through 40 minutes of tape to see if he did or not. After making him wait we find that the cashier had taken the money out but she had so much going on by her register that she put it back. So of course he is LIVID and ready to come around and make our life hell but he refrained and just used the most colorful language and was escorted out of the store. I am sure he will be back tommmorow.

So, that leaves us behind in our money drops to get into to the cash office by the time lock out happens. I get my drops going and the night supervisors come in wondering where we are. So we go up and give report and go back to get our cash done. Some of the night bags are missing ( of course) So we run around trying to make sure that cash is out to start the day. Last registers get dropped at midnight and our last 2 registers were done after midnight. I have to clock out for lunch before 12:30 but that didn't happen. I get off my lunch and one of the 3 night supervisors tell me that I disappear and I don't do anything. I hear that from this person EVERY time she works. There are 3 of them. With 2 actual tasks and one of them gets done before midnight. Its so frustrating. So I walked to the back and went to stock a department that never gets done. If they would just ask me I would tell them where I was. I was LIVID and was so glad my shift ends at 2. Just once they should work the closing shift and see that what we do is not what they do its different.

GRRR... Ok.. Enough frustrations... They are done...


Everyone has a job to do wether it be at home as a mom or at a job that the leave the house for. No on deserves to be told they are bad at it. I know I have been one to say that someone doesn't do their job. I guess if I would just ask I would find out. I just wish somtimes the same courtesy would apply... So if anyone out there wants to know something.. JUST ASK!!!