Left Without A Voice

It's just after 12 and I rush downstairs to wait by the window.

My little dude is suppose to be home soon. He has NEVER gotten home after 12:10 in his whole preschool career.

I sit by the window watching.

Waiting.

The noon news ends and it is 12:30 and STILL no Tyler.

I call the school and the teacher says he has been put on the bus. Her part is done. Here is a number. I feel a lump rise in my throat and call the number. The rude lady on the other end gives me ANOTHER number.

12:35.

Where are they? We live less than half a mile away from the school.

Something is wrong.

12:40

The lady gets back on and says that the bus had a few extra kids today and they are on their way.

12:55

FINALLY the yellow bus rolls up.

The bus Driver explains that a mom forgot to be there to pick up their kid. So they waited a little longer. Then went about their route. They were over by maverick ( not sure WHICH maverick there are 2 one CLEAR in town and one JUST up the street) and realized that they still had Tyler on the bus. So they finished what they were doing and brought him home.

Sorry... it wont happen again.... And the Aide pipes in... didn't you get my message?

No missed call on my cell phone.

AND I was ON my phone so no message on my machine like she claims.

Tyler ALWAYS sits right behind the bus driver. How can you FORGET? And you have a lady who's job it is to MAKE SURE all the kids are off the bus and safe.

It is your job.

Tyler is non verbal. He doesn't really "talk" He can't tell you what his name is. He can't tell you something is wrong. He can't tell you you forgot to take him home..And most importantly he can NOT tell ME that they hurt him.

He was on the bus for 45 minutes. MUCH longer than he NORMALLY is on that bus.

Panic. Fear and then worry. Replaced by a sense of relief that he was home.

But who do you go to? I waited till I was done being SOOO mad.

I called the district transportation. They apologized and said they were sure it was a sub. I assured them it was his real bus driver.

I feel mad.

I feel angry.

I feel mad at myself.

I feel sad.

How could I leave him without a voice?

My MOST prized possession in the WHOLE world was left without a voice

Verbal Abuse?

I have had the WORST experience with Ty's bus driver aide than I have had with ANYTHING else in his preschool experience. I had a huge issue with what chair he was put in last year but seriously this is NOTHING compared to the last month with this aide.

The first time I noticed that this was gonna be a hard was a week or so after we started riding the bus. I went to get him off the bus and the aide, before anything else, said " I just want you to know that the school aide isn't careful with Tyler." She proceeded to tell me that the school aide just put Tyler on the top stairs and walked away and he fell off the stairs. I asked if he was hurt or if a report had been filed and she said no he was fine she " caught" him but I needed to make sure they were more careful.

I kinda blew it off but I called the teacher and got her side of the story and I tried the bus supervisor and never got a call back. I figured it was just one of "those" things and whatever. As we would get him on the bus every day I watched how she got him up and down the stairs. I always put him on the 2nd step and got his hand on the rail and helped him up. But she would lean down and reach for his hands and pull him. His hands would be above his head and she would just kinda swing him around. Not "violent" per se but it looked like he was gonna get his arms pulled out of his socket. When Dallas was there he would go all the way on the bus but in general I put him on.

During our IEP I mentioned it as a concern. She just didn't' seem to be caring and soft when it came to Tyler. I had seen her not be very nice to the little girl that rides with Ty and me and her mom had both made mention that she was not nice.

The IEP people from the district said they would talk to the driver and the aide and make sure that he was not treated badly and that he would get assistance but not have her lift him like that or not let him do things himself. I thought at that point that it was over and it would be fine.

On Tuesday Dallas put Tyler on the bus and he walked on the bus with Ty and the bus aide kinda let the little girl have it about having her back pack on. I was kinda glad I didn't hear it but Dallas said he was wondering if the district had talked to her so now she was mad. When I went to get Tyler OFF the bus the aide said " Aren't you going to come get him?" I said no he just needs your hand to help him off the seat. She grumbled and he happily hopped off the seat and into my arms.

Wednesday I took Ty out to the bus, put him on the 2nd step like always and got his hand ready and the aide said " um Aren't you getting on to help him?" I said no he doesn't need to be picked up he can do it himself and we helped him up. She put him on the seat and not much was said when he got home.

Today when we got him on the bus same thing. Put him on the steps, got his hand ready and he got to the top and the aide was not there. She was slowly coming down the isle. Ty got over to the seat and she said " You can get up by yourself. Come get up, everyone says you can do it on your own." I was so mad. He is just a little boy. He needs help. And this is an adult.

I left him on the bus and I was in tears and called the transportation supervisor as soon as I got in. I talked to the teacher after school and she said that the bus aide refused to help Tyler and that she was not very nice but that she usually wasn't very friendly.

When Ty got off the bus the aide was no where to be found. Apparently she is going to be transferred. But the whole situation has gotten me so angry. I mean come on. He is 4. Can't talk. Can't defend himself and can't tell me when something has happened. He isn't able to take care of himself. It seriously has gotten me so upset. Why would you get a job where you are taking care of kids when you are not nice OR when you don't really want to help the kids? And what else are you doing when I am NOT around when you are mean when I AM around?

One of my biggest fears as we go through this world is that something will happen. That something bad will happen and he cant' tell me. That people who are suppose to be there to help him hurt him in some way.

It makes me sad. It makes me wish we could be there to protect EVERY second of the day. I know that he is safe but it makes me so worried. Makes my tummy hurt.

Greek Festival and school

Tyler is doing OH so much better now that school has started. He goes in the morning and he is done just after 12. He comes out jabbering and yesterday had a HUGE meltdown when they stopped singing cause he wanted more.

I am a little disappointed that they don't have a PT at the school but us a PE instructor. I need to get more info on it before I am totally sold on the idea. The rest he gets once a week. They spend the whole day in the classroom with them.

He has worn his braces every day. At least the SMO part. Next week we will transition 2 days a week with ALL the braces but he will need his walker to go to school with him. He sometimes has a hard time keeping up with the kids when they walk into the school because he needs a hand to hold on to instead of just the rope. Today was the first day that there was actually tears shed when I dropped him off.

While we were out tonight the transportation guy called and tomorrow will be the first day of pick up. Because Ty has special needs he will be picked up 2 days a week right outside the door and 2 days a week across the street with the little girl that goes. I think Ty will like the bus I just hope the change of drivers and a new city won't cause some issues. Guess tomorrow we will see. And tomorrow is the first day since we moved in I actually have to set an alarm to get us UP to get the bus.

I also started school yesterday. It is just a course to get a national certification to do phlebotomy ( drawing blood) so I can get a job with IHC or another medical group to get some decent insurance. With Dallas home Ty is well taken care of and we are hoping just for part time. There are a few openings and some really amazing home town friends have had some great contacts for jobs. ( thanks Shannon!)

I go 3 days a week so tomorrow I am back to the grind of school. Tonight though was a relaxing fun and smiling night with Dallas. We REALLY needed a break and his sister was SO kind to come and sit for us. She did amazing and it was well worth it for us! So sad we missed Kelsey sitting but so glad we had an awesome AUNT that would be willing. ( and i know you would be willing Nicky!)

We were able to attend the Greek festival in Salt Lake and we are taking Ty on Saturday. We just hope the music isn't quite as loud OR we can get to the quiet private area in the building. It would be so much better for him! Guess we will see!

Preschool 2009

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Wow, this week has FLOWN by. I can't believe it. It was a busy, fun filled, life changing week! But, lets start on Wednesday where we left off

Ty's school was unexpectedly changed to start a little earlier than they anticipated and since bus schedules were all ready made we knew we were in for an early morning. Ty needed to be up and going by six to make the bus at 7:07 AM. For those that know and love me ( ha ha) early morning wake ups mean I am a BEAR! Ty is not a good eater that early. Apparently he isn't STARVING by morning so I have to force feed him. So I was stressing the bus would come and he would still be chilling and all food faced. Plus, I had a docs appointment at 7:30 am giving me just enough time to send my kid on the bus and RUN to my appointment.

So in True Ty fashion he surprised me. Ate really well, got a shower in and allowed me to take partial pictures while we waited for the bus. He had to take blanket and I was so worried he would have a freak out.

And then.. in true Tyler fashion he surprised me again. When the bus came he acted like he was going to cry, but Dallas walked with us out of the house and I put Ty on the top steps and he took Brandi ( the aides) hand, waived at Connie and acted like an old pro getting on the bus. He watched out the window and waived at Dallas and I took some pictures.

I always go to the window he is on, put my hand to the window and wave. He smiled and waved. And not a tear was shed from Tyler ( or mom for that matter) and he was off.

I ran to my appointment, came home and grabbed my camera and headed down to his school so I could peek through the window. I got there just in time for Circle time and to watch him sing, smile and clap. WALK to his chair and pick his own colored paper.

He was happy as could be. I left feeling SUPER good about our choice to move his class.

Some new things we are doing this year:
Ty was moved to a different class with a different teacher. I liked his teacher last year but I don't think it was the right class for him. I think overall he was in to big of a class. They had ten kids and this year there is 4.

Last year he was in a high chair type chair and was restrained and it bugged me. He was not unable to sit on his own so why give him a chair that he didn't need. I didn't like that he couldn't get in an out of it without help so I asked this year he didn't get put in it.

Last year he had a really bad speech lady. I mean REALLY bad. After six months when I FINALLY wrote a note asking for an update she asked me if he even made sounds. I was LIVID. He does make sounds. So I gathered up a few of his favorite puzzles, books etc and sure enough guess who babbled away. So this year I asked for a new speech person.

So it looks like those are the good on School.

Enjoy looking at his cute photos. He wouldn't look at me on a few of them but he still looks so cute and so grown up.

P.S. I used the new picnik stuff for the slide show. I kinda like it. Better than the collages that don't have enough space!!

Back to School- Meet the teacher!

Ty is now entering his 2nd year of school. Not second GRADE but preschool part 2! We have one more year but this year we made some changes.

First change: New Teacher. While his teacher last year was very good. She was even better with the older of the preschoolers. Ty was put in a class with 3-6 year olds. While he held his own, he was not doing the best he could be doing. We made some hard choices and put him in a different class. This year he is going to be in the Discovery Preschool.

Pros:

Less kids. His current class as 4 kids and an aide. Ty is able to walk in the class room and will attend a few activities with the other 4 year old class as he gets going.

Great teacher. Miss Janet is really good and she is currently VERY aware of Ty's...hmmmm STUBBORNNESS. Yes that is right. They have discovered that MY son is Stubborn. He must get that from his dad!

Speech will be with him for one full class period. Well not JUST him but the whole 4 kiddos in the class. Last year he was taken out of class and had 9 kids in the whole class. Not a lot of one on one that will hopefully get him going.

So far the only CON I see is time. Its EARLY. His bus picks him up at 7 am.... yeah.. 7.

So for the first day of school we have to be up bright and early, feed, clothed and on a BIG YELLOW BUS around 7. Lots of prayers that MOM can hold up!