Friday, October 23, 2009

Verbal Abuse?

I have had the WORST experience with Ty's bus driver aide than I have had with ANYTHING else in his preschool experience. I had a huge issue with what chair he was put in last year but seriously this is NOTHING compared to the last month with this aide.

The first time I noticed that this was gonna be a hard was a week or so after we started riding the bus. I went to get him off the bus and the aide, before anything else, said " I just want you to know that the school aide isn't careful with Tyler." She proceeded to tell me that the school aide just put Tyler on the top stairs and walked away and he fell off the stairs. I asked if he was hurt or if a report had been filed and she said no he was fine she " caught" him but I needed to make sure they were more careful.

I kinda blew it off but I called the teacher and got her side of the story and I tried the bus supervisor and never got a call back. I figured it was just one of "those" things and whatever. As we would get him on the bus every day I watched how she got him up and down the stairs. I always put him on the 2nd step and got his hand on the rail and helped him up. But she would lean down and reach for his hands and pull him. His hands would be above his head and she would just kinda swing him around. Not "violent" per se but it looked like he was gonna get his arms pulled out of his socket. When Dallas was there he would go all the way on the bus but in general I put him on.

During our IEP I mentioned it as a concern. She just didn't' seem to be caring and soft when it came to Tyler. I had seen her not be very nice to the little girl that rides with Ty and me and her mom had both made mention that she was not nice.

The IEP people from the district said they would talk to the driver and the aide and make sure that he was not treated badly and that he would get assistance but not have her lift him like that or not let him do things himself. I thought at that point that it was over and it would be fine.

On Tuesday Dallas put Tyler on the bus and he walked on the bus with Ty and the bus aide kinda let the little girl have it about having her back pack on. I was kinda glad I didn't hear it but Dallas said he was wondering if the district had talked to her so now she was mad. When I went to get Tyler OFF the bus the aide said " Aren't you going to come get him?" I said no he just needs your hand to help him off the seat. She grumbled and he happily hopped off the seat and into my arms.

Wednesday I took Ty out to the bus, put him on the 2nd step like always and got his hand ready and the aide said " um Aren't you getting on to help him?" I said no he doesn't need to be picked up he can do it himself and we helped him up. She put him on the seat and not much was said when he got home.

Today when we got him on the bus same thing. Put him on the steps, got his hand ready and he got to the top and the aide was not there. She was slowly coming down the isle. Ty got over to the seat and she said " You can get up by yourself. Come get up, everyone says you can do it on your own." I was so mad. He is just a little boy. He needs help. And this is an adult.

I left him on the bus and I was in tears and called the transportation supervisor as soon as I got in. I talked to the teacher after school and she said that the bus aide refused to help Tyler and that she was not very nice but that she usually wasn't very friendly.

When Ty got off the bus the aide was no where to be found. Apparently she is going to be transferred. But the whole situation has gotten me so angry. I mean come on. He is 4. Can't talk. Can't defend himself and can't tell me when something has happened. He isn't able to take care of himself. It seriously has gotten me so upset. Why would you get a job where you are taking care of kids when you are not nice OR when you don't really want to help the kids? And what else are you doing when I am NOT around when you are mean when I AM around?

One of my biggest fears as we go through this world is that something will happen. That something bad will happen and he cant' tell me. That people who are suppose to be there to help him hurt him in some way.

It makes me sad. It makes me wish we could be there to protect EVERY second of the day. I know that he is safe but it makes me so worried. Makes my tummy hurt.


Stephanie said...

Wow, I am really sorry. I can only imagine the stress and worry you must be feeling. That is all really terrible and I hope that they get her transferred quickly. Ty doesn't deserve that, and I have no idea how someone could talk to him like that. Just ridiculous. I hope it all gets better soon.

The Henrys said...

I am glad that she will be transferred. It is very frustrating when someone you are supposed to trust with your child, isn't very nice to them.

I have had problems with the bus drivers getting inpatient with my duaghter going up and down the stairs. They try to pull her arms and keep telling her over and over to step up, or down. I can hear the inpatience and so can she. When I try to talk to them about this, they get angry and defensive.

I, too, worry about my daughter when she is out in the world. My biggest fear is the same as yours, what if something horrible happens to her and she can't tell me. Makes my stomach hurt too!

April Stutzman said...

Oh Nancy! This is terrible! My heart is breaking for you and Tyler! How could anyone be so cruel? I am so sorry that he has been treated like this! I am scaired to death to send Ethan to school now. I really hope that Tyler's next bus aide has a heart.

Amber said...

OH NO!!!! I am SO SORRY to hear about someone treating Tyler and other children like that!!!!! I hope she gets fired and punished for the way she acts.

sweets said...

wow! thats not right good luck with the new bus aid.

Rich said...

I only rode the (normal school bus) till 3rd grade. But I was fortunate enough to have a kind bus driver that watched out for me, because she was a friend of the family. I always sat right behind the driver.

When I got my IEP (you must understand in the 80's special education was kind of new) I received van transport door to door. - I had a very nice older lady that was my driver Peg, she was my driver all threw to about 7th grade!

With an IEP you should see about getting private van transport door to door. From what I understand now (not 100% sure)... ALL IEP students are entitled to this service. - More so you mentioned his vision issues! Even more of a reason! - IEP law is on YOUR side not the schools, don't ever forget this!

Angie said...

Oh Nancy, it hurt my heart to read this post. I'm so sorry you (and Ty) have to deal with this. He's such a sweet boy.