Today was Tyler's meet the teacher and back to school night with Miss Holly. Tyler has been out of school since May and didn't qualify for summer school. While I am not wanting my child to be in school as a baby sitter I do want my child to be successful and him get all the help he can in order to succeed, so I was a little disappointed that he was not. Most of all we really wanted him to be in school so he would be able to socialize with other kids.
Over the summer ( and since moving back to Utah) we have found he hasn't been as surrounded by his cousins as we had first anticipated. He gets to spend a lot of time with adults and sometimes his time is not always that fun. Dallas and I are kind of boring.
Because of Tyler's delays he needs 24 hour entertainment. I am not just talking about reading a few books or sitting outside while he plays. I mean CONSTANT entertainment. He needs help going up parts of the play ground. He needs help with everything. He needs me to tell the other kids what he is saying and he needs me to help with everything.
The last several IEP's and goal setting stuff we have done someone has made mention that he would really benefit from a sibling. Even today while we were at back to school and innocent comment of " He would do really well with a brother or sister" really took me back.
Have I done a disservice to Tyler not having another child? Is he social delayed because he doesn't have the interaction with another kid? Do I do too much for him?
It isn't like we haven't tried or wanted another one. It isn't like we have just thought he should be an only child. What about all the time we spent on therapy and how could we have had one any early than now?
Why is it that a complete stranger should question our conceiving practices? How open should you be when you get your feelings hurt?
So many questions..... And not a single answer to any of them.
For the record though, we think Tyler would be a great big brother. We know we have a lot of work to do to prepare him to share his mom. But I think he would be really good at it. We do think that he would benefit. Unfortunately it isn't that easy for us. Soon... We hope.
1 comment:
Wow, how strange for people to comment on Tyler's need for a sibling! My mom says stuff like that to me all of the time, but not just random people! My son is an only child for now, but he fortunately does get to spend a lot of time with his cousins who are in the same age range. I have seen first hand with other special needs kids the enormous benefits of socializing with peers (with or without special needs) Would you be able to find a local playgroup you could join with Ty? It would probably be a lot of work to help the other kids gets used to him and vice versa, but it would pay off hugely. I have a friend who moved to a new area right before she had her daughter. She found a mom & kid group online that she joined and has made some great friends there. I'm sorry if this just seems like more unwelcomed advice; I certainly don't mean it to be.
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