Sunday, September 20, 2009

An update

My mom "claims" that I don't update but I must confess, I update the most out of all of my sisters/sisterinlaws and even my own MOTHER! So there.

Saturday was a good day. Ty has been getting up several times in the night and coming into our room. He has been doing this off and on for about 6 months. And if we all want to face reality for about 4 years. It makes for a crabby day for mom because I don't get very good sleep from about 3 am on. But he is up for the day bright and early. Yesterday was no exception. We hustled around and picked up the house and hung out. Tyler and I sent Dallas off to the meat store and we moved a few things around in the Garage to finally get a car into it ( which on a side note our 2 car garage doesn't really fit 2 cars. Even with all boxes gone... boo) Ty found a football amidst the boxes and went around the yard throwing the football saying "hike." He would try and get it stuck in the tree in our neighbors yard so he could make the lemons fall down ( like on the super sleuths.)

After Dallas got home Tyler wanted to drive the car. Yes.. He wanted to sit in the car and pretend to drive. So we let him. He put on his seat belt moved and pushed every button and lever and LOVED it.

We went out back and played with a big ball and he threw it around, chased and fell all over the grass and lawn. He loved it and we couldn't get him to come in. Dallas was cooking us dinner on the grill and it was time to eat so we went in. Ty sat on the chair anxiously awaiting his bites of steak. As long as he had ketchup on it he wouldn't care.

After dinner he asked to go back outside in the garage. I wasn't sure why so I opened the door and went about my business. Sure enough he wanted to get in the car. To cute! Dallas sat with him while he was driving and he had a good time!

Throughout the last week I have had a chance to read and reflect on some controversial subjects. One common thing that you hear is I wouldn't change anything about my child. As I have been the care giver of Tyler and have not been able to have respite and it is my responsibility I have decided that I don't like that phrase. My reasoning is that I WOULD change him. Meaning I would change that things are hard for him. That his body doesn't work like he wants it to. He can't express himself. What I WOULDN'T change is his spirit and his personality. That I would never change. BUT I would change that things are hard for him.

Because things are hard for him it takes an emotional toll on everything around us. Ty is a great kid, but he whines and hangs on mom all the time. If he is scared or upset he hangs on mom. If he wants something it is mom. He will literally walk past Dallas to come all the way up stairs to have me do it. I know everyone is thinking it is a mom thing but from what I have seen that tends to slow down a little around 2. His has increased. His dependency on me has increased as I am the only one that can explain what he needs fully. His dad can, but as a general rule I am his care giver and so without his mom he can't express himself or have his needs be met.

Dallas knows that the whining seems to only happen when I am around. It takes a toll on me emotionally. The joys of having him is things I can't or wouldn't want to give up. There are just a million things that I would like to explain better ( without judgment or being negative ) It is something that I am really trying to find a way to do.

Anyway, that is our update. In 24 hours I have a 4 year old so stay tuned for some of our 4 year highlights.


The Gonce's said...

AMEN! My husband and I have had similar conversations about that phrase! I would change that Bree can't roll over like a normal 4 month old, yet she is a year old...she can't crawl, walk or even coordinate her mouth to drink a bottle. SO..yes I would change those things, but I wouldn't change her smile, her belly laugh, or her beautiful spirit. It is every parent's dream to have the best for their child, however, preemie parents get to have a different set of standards...they just want it to be easier for their child.

Grandma Labrum said...

At least Dallas sees him whinning and hanging on you. When you kids were young and giving me fits by throwing things through the vents, or nearly killing each other, you were angels when your dad was around, so he never believed a word I said. No one ever believed me when I told about my demonic children! :) :) And let me tell you about kids playing in cars....One time you were all playing in the car, slipped it into neutral and backed out the driveway, across the street, and into the neighbors fence. Another time in front of Grandma Humphrey's the car "coasted" down to the corner near where Sara's house is now. Scared me to death!
But like you, I wouldn't change his personality, but make it easier for him. But in the long look of things, maybe the difficult things will be his own reward. Maybe he will be a great inventor that will help other children just like like him learn to walk better....Maybe he will discover a way to "cure" the effect of brain bleeds, or CP, or any of a number of things. Maybe he will write a computer program that will help communication. Only time, love, patience, and faith will guide him the way he should go.
PS. Thanks for updating. Remember, if the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn't, don't complain. :) (I'll update again in a month)

Tammy said...

I agree with mom 100%. I try to explain to everyone how my kids act when they are with me and they never show it with others... although we do get pretty close sometimes in Walmart.

Just so you know I remember that day at Grandma Humphreys when that happened with the car.