A few posts ago I posted about being settled. While I am settled with Tyler I am not settled emotionally any more. I am not sure how long I have been unsettled. I am not sure if it s a new thing or if it comes and goes but one thing for sure is that I needed help and I got it and I am excited to keep it going.
After discovering some mean horrible things I decided ( after much crying and though) that I needed me time. That meeaning no more enmeshed family. No more over involved family member, grandparents and sisters. No more phone calls, emails or responses to anything.
I am still on the depo lupron and am on my last month and have been way more emotional than I have ever had to deal with. I started some new medication and hopefully that will help me out a little more.
I started back seeing a therapist. She specializes in PTSD and I really like her. She has helped alot even after one visit.
I started weight watchers and lost 3 pound this week. And while out for the meeting made an impulse move and got a pedicure. I am looking forward to a little me time on friday and plan to go tanning.
I have used my respite worker a lot and will use her every day this week. I am getting ready for visitors next week and she is going to entertain Tyler while I scrub, dejunk and make my house more stress free.
I am looking forward to fixing me. To making me more settled and to do what I need to do. I am not that person that my family has made me out to be. Those who have claimed to be friends with me and have hurt me don't be surprised if I don't let you in. Don't be surprised if you find yourself talking to a different person.
I have been a little to hurt this time. ...
As far as Ty is concerned we have been super busy and it won't let up.
Monday we went to foundation, Tuesday I had my meetings and toe painting, Today was PT and we cleaned the bathroom and walk in closet. They are dejunked and beutiful. Oh and we had an eye appointment for Ty. Thursday is OT, and eye therapy. He is going to be working on feeding himself and scooping his food. He can get it in but not scoop it up. Resptie will be here and I am hoping to be done with my room and most of Ty's . I hope that D will be able to do the office this weekend. Friday we drive into Pheonix and work on his braces again.
Don't worry.. I still have to work at night and I am dealing with the mean and horrible people there. Things are getting better though.
I will be ok!! I will be ok!!