He is acting weird

Tyler has never asked to take anything to bed but we couldn't get Eyeore away from him. So he covered Eyeore up and slept with him all night. Seriously loving this pretend play stuff~!

So after the Tyler is sick post a few things have kept up that we REALLY have enjoyed. Like sleep! Knock on wood. Tyler has been sleeping in past 7 and sometimes I have to wake him up at 8! YES REALLY!

~Rewind to his doc appointment: you know the initial complaint list ours was Tyler is sleeping to much. HAHA~

It seems upping his meds at night has helped tremendously and the kid is doing much better. The ENT says yes they are still coming out but waiting till school is out is a good option for us. ( IE hopefully some extra hands on deck)

The weird part is the random times he will just bust out in a huge full on giggle and belly laugh. He will be sitting in his chair or doing something and just start laughing. Sometimes that laugh results in falling over. He is laughing so hard.

2 weeks ago in primary he got kicked out because he was not sitting down and would go to the door and try to open it. ( hooray for God not having lever doors) He can't turn regular knobs so instead of disrupting they brought him to me. Well this week when I went to get him he was just hanging out and his teacher said he was so funny. They would be doing their activity and lesson and he would jabber and then LAUGH hysterically and then the whole class would be laughing. They LOVE this kid. ( so do we!)

Today, I had a really bad day and I am lucky to have gotten out of bed and in clothes. He must have sensed something because he has made me laugh all day.

I love that I have a good kid. I love that I love him. I love that he is mine.

* PS. Apparently he can read because he was up at 4am. I put him back in our bed and I left for my make shift air matress bed and he was laughing hysterically till I had him come lay with me and watch a movie..... I wish he couldn't read.*

The Preemie Experience

With a HUGE disclaimer and hope that hate mail and hate comments don't happen here or on other sites.

Every preemie experience is different. A mom to a 25 weeker or below is going to have a MUCH different experience than a 32 weeker or a 34 weeker or even a 35 weeker. The preemie experience is different for a 28 weeker than a 25 weeker.

That said: I LOVE Tyler with all my heart and we have so many good days and lots of laughs and happy smiles. This "poem" was a very real description of the experience I had.

I do not resent my son. I do not HATE the experience that we had. I do not feel it was the most positive experience of my life. I do feel that I have a right and even a desire to show both sides of the coin. Most days in our house are happy, positive and we are THRILLED with our child.

The Preemie Experience By Sandra D Moore The preemie experience is the shattering of all your dreams For a normal, healthy delivery, Of the ability to carry home a beautiful squirming bundle After a short stay in the hospital. It is lying there in your hospital room listening to The happy sounds of whole families joined Together by the birth of a grandchild, cousin, niece, Or nephew, and knowing that your Child is miles away and may not survive long enough For you to see or simply touch. It is that first glimpse of a skinny, scrawny, not much bigger Than a Barbie doll child And feeling, fear, awe, and joy for such a fragile soul. It is sitting by your baby’s “bedside” day after day, Week after week, month after month, Alternating between the emotional high of “Look, her eyes are open,” or “She’s crying!” And the lows of “I’m sorry, Mrs. Moore. Something has Shown up in Lauren’s ultrasound,” Or even “There is nothing we can do…” It is hearing the alarms go off for the twentieth time in less Than fifteen minutes because your Child’s heart rate keeps hitting zero. It is watching children dying around you, wondering if Your child will be next.It is hearing your child’s cry of distress as the nurses Insert yet another IV and do another Round of daily blood tests.It is meeting other parents of children who are doing far better And wondering, “Why me?” And meeting parents of children who have just died, And praising God for His mercy To your child and feeling guilty because your child is alive And someone else is grieving for theirs. It is days of nightmarish testing and coping with less Than positive results to the tests. It is days of joy at seeing the first eyelash appear, The child gain a whole ounce in one day, And two bright shiny eyes look at you and into your soul, And knowing that your child now recognizes you as Mama or Dada; Or perhaps looks at you and does not see you at all… It is that final hurdle before coming home! It is the sorrow of waiting for the monitor company Representative to show you what to do If the alarm sounds when your child is choking, Gasping for breath, or simply dying. It is the joy of just being away from all those nurses And tubes and wires and beeps, and Walking into the nursery you hastily prepared because, after all, The child wasn’t due for another three months! It is thinking the nightmare is over…only to realize it still Continues in the form of Such acronyms as PVL, RSV, BPD, CP and numerous others. It is the final realization that those developmental delays Have to be dealt with, That reflux is a normal and unfortunate occurrence in most preemies, That the constant fight to gain weight is in direct proportion To a preemie’s ability to do so. It is watching a child struggle to pick up his or her head, sit, Crawl, or walk. It is witnessing only silence when the child should be babbling, Because the child cannot hear. It is the mental images of a child running and playing And communicating with others in a Perfectly normal manner that are marred when you face years of therapy In order to simply get the child to eat by himself or herself, To talk or walk and then run. The preemie experience is a journey… A journey through your soul in order to find the faith and strength to cope, A journey of the mind when you face the emotional weariness, A journey of the heart…to accept that, no matter what, This child is yours, And you will love this child no matter what.

As prematurity awareness comes to a close there are so many things I wish that I could share. So many things I wish others could see. So many things I wish people could experience so they "get" me

In the next few days I know that we all think of the things we are Thankful for. I do the same and as I sit next to my Miracle child I think of all the wonderful advances that have kept him here. I think of all the 1st we did get to have that we didn't think we would.

I am Thankful for my Family. For my son. For all he is to me and the faith that he has taught me.

Sharing the Love!! an award

My sister ( in law) has started and award in honor of her son Noah who received a heart transplant on 7-7-07. He just turned one. He is a cute little guy. Crystal recently awarded my blog the Share the love award and now I am ready to send it on its way.

I wanted to take my time to share the love and send it to people who make my day. In turn I challenge them to make this a meaningful award to those they give it to.

First person I want to give it to is Ashley. I have known Ashley for a LONG time. Like 16 or 17 years. Her dad was my dentist until I moved away to college. I might of even known her longer than 16 years. We weren't "hang out buddies" but we have recently been able to connect by reading each others blogs. I find her one of the nicest and most caring people. She always leaves a comment and she brightens up my day. She is so sincere. She is an amazing mother and wonderful wife. She is helping her husband get through law school. She is also absolutely Gorgeous!!

Next... Steph! She was my BEST BEST BEST friend in High school. We have had so many fun memories that some would just make everyone laugh if we shared them. We had a great time. After my mission we started talking and especially recently I have been able to talk to her whenever I have needed her. She is one of the people who know me best and understand me the most. I don't think I would have survived high school without her.

Amy: Amy is so sweet. Again she is one that I have reunited from High school and have read about her family and fun. She looks amazing after having 2 kids and I have huge jealousy!! She is a great mom and has some great ideas for keeping the kids entertained. She has a 2 year old that she chases constantly and I am amazed at all she has accomplished.

Tammy: I have found a friend in a sister. We have HUGE ups and downs but she is a great friend. She has had a huge trial the last few years and hope that their new endeavor helps them find what they are looking for.

Kim: Kim married my cousin Rob. I didn't know her well but I have been reading her blog and I have a deep respect for this girl. She is so sweet to Robert and to my Aunt and Uncle. She has had a few trials that I didn't know about till recently and have found her attitude amazing. She is a hero in her own aspect and I hope her motherhood comes about one way or another. What a great amazing women.

Miss Lyndsay! She is so funny. I can't even tell you how funny this girl is. She got her law degree and her hubby is currently in med school. Her blog makes me laugh so hard. Go read.. HUGE laugh.

Nicky.. My little sister. She use to come up and sit with Ty so many times I lost count. She has done the Unthinkable. While I was recovering from my horrible c section I needed to have a few people change the bandages. Now.. Everyone was around while I pumped every few hours. And she was willing to change the bandages on my horrific, sick, disgusting wound seeing MORE than any sister would or SHOULD ever see. She has taken care of my baby so many times.

Jenn. She is a mom of a preemie and someone I have known before babies. She struggles with depression and anxiety and several other things. I want her to know she is NOT alone and that I am always here for her.

Anyone who reads this: Share the love. There are so many things that you can do for someone else that makes them feel loved. Lately I have really had a rough time and sometimes just a few words of encouragement or a few moments to truly ask how things are and being willing to listen goes a long way.

Go visit these wonderful women and find out why I shared the love. You never know, you might just be next!

To get the code please visit Crystal at memoirsofamomblog.com