Friday, September 5, 2014

People are CRUEL

When Tyler was little and had to have his second shunt revision in six months, we didn't have time to coordinate with his doctor to shave his head completely. We tried all the other times to beg to have it shaven to avoid the insane drama that came with his hair cut.

In the hospital we were in the ICU. He was doing so well the next morning that we took a walk to get out of the 4 walls we were trapped in. We went to the cafeteria and we went to get him some pizza. We went into the cafeteria and EVERYONE stared at us.

Literally everyone.

When I would look them in the eyes they would quickly avert their eyes and look away, making it even more obvious that they were staring.  I don't blame kids for staring. I do find it sad that the majority of the staring people were adults. Kids, well they don't know any better and they generally ask what happened.


Do I blame people for staring? NO, I don't. It looks strange, and even a little scary. But he was a little boy. It wasn't his fault and we were in a children's hospital so let's not stare at the kiddo's with bald heads because of cancer, or the kiddo with a growth on his face. We know it looks bad. Trust us. We don't like to look at it either. But don't stare.

Recently in the news there have been 2 very shocking events that have transpired. The first one is about a Seattle couple who were in the mall sharing a tablet and having a conversation about a book. The couple also happened to have cerebral palsy and were in wheel chairs. Both of them.

As the event transpired, the women saw the two men hanging around and said she started to feel uncomfortable. She said she didn't want to engage them so she just let them be. One man started to leave and the other man came towards them and snatched the tablet away from the women.

The women has taken the high road and forgiven the men who did it, but she thinks that if the person is going to target them, they are willing to target anyone. The video has gone viral and even CNN has picked up the news cast.

Bringing us to the next horrific cruelty this week. The ALS challenge was all over the place last week. Dumping ice water on their head for awareness of a terrible neurological condition. While the majority of the people who participated were doing it in a smart fashion, we can't help but be shocked by the grandfather who poured freezing cold water on baby. But the even more horrific one was the high school students targeted a 15 year old boy who happens to have Autism was surprised by not ice water, but urine, feces and other bodily fluids. The video was filmed on the boys phone. It was posted on Instagram.

The family is hoping that the public can share their story in order to raise awareness for the harmful effects of bullying and especially the effects of bullying on a specific, more vulnerable group of people.

Stares and whispers and points and teasing are nothing compared to the harm done to the last boy. But the pain in the mother's voice and the sadness she was feeling knowing that people didn't love her son like she did, was just as bad as the bullying itself.

Targeting someone who can't chase after or do anything to defend themselves, and committing a crime, is cruel.

Staring, whispering and not including a child is cruel. It hurts.

 In 2 of the 3 instances, the moms were probably hurt more than the children, but the effects of bullying are felt, not only as the person who was bullied but the parent as well.

PLEASE... Stop the cruelty. If you see someone who is being mean to a child, especially a child with a disability, make it stop. If you have a child who is close in age to a child who has a disability, or if they attend the same church or are in the neighborhood, include them. Make the cycle of bullying and abuse stop.


Michael Gregson said...

To say "people are cruel" is a harsh jugement. You are labeling all people based on how you look at the world. I don't want to be/sound rude but your label is undeserved.

People are generally really good. Although there may be some that are rude, destructive, and tear down others, it's definitely the majority.

Of course people are going to talk when they saw your son. He had a major surgery and it was very obvious. I wonder if you could have heard the peoples whispers if it would cause you to change your judgements. When most of us see someone that we can tell has gone through a struggle we hope that everything is ok and we voice concern for the person to those around us. Some even offer silent prayers while they "stare".

We all know that there are "some" bad people in this world and that "bad things" happen... It your choice wether you will find the good or "bad" and when people are staring at your child, you have no idea what they are thinking or feeling, so judging them/us imperfectly is your fault.

I don't mean this in a rude fashion... We are all Gods children doing the best we can. Be a light pointing to hope in Christ rather than an unfit judge causing others to lose faith and hope.

Nancy brown said...

Thank You!! You are right! Most people are kind. I think as we go through trials of a certain caliber, it is hard to watch the cruel things that happen. Even things that other's might not see as cruel are very hurtful. We struggled a lot with church because of comments made. We are now very active and have been for several years. However, seeing the teasing that happens, is hurtful. Sometimes the only thing that I can be thankful for is that he doesn't understand what is going on!

Thanks again for the reminder to not generalize and to be a better example.

jennohara said...

Amen. :)