Friday, July 25, 2014

It isn't your right....

When I was 21, I made a decision that has literally changed my life. Some of the things I learned were not until recently and some of the choices that I made and some of the things that I learned haven't really been apparent until the last six months. Some even the last 3. But that choice has changed who I am and who I want to be.

I went on a mission. I was called to serve for the duration of 18 months. I served 15 and after plenty of discussion with my mission president,  came home. I was honorably released and spent the next 5 months talking in every single ward in my parents stake. Some people thought I had done something to be "sent home." But that was not the case. I was honorably released and I served the Lord to the best of my ability. 

A long time ago #tbt I was super cute. #lds #missionary #indianahoosier

I have been in contact ( thank you facebook) with some families that we SO crucial to my mission. They are the people who you think about often. One girl I taught found me on facebook. She is active, but only recently got baptized. She sends me a message every few days. Another came to Arizona and came to visit after I had my hyserectomy. She was so pivotal in how I saw other people. 

So as I was talking to one of these families, they were laughing and said that they couldn't believe how Molly Mormon I was. I was shocked. I had never been told I was a Molly before. This person said that they were shocked that I didn't judge them. And that I was not condemning their actions, even though I knew that once upon a time, this family was not the way they were now. 

This really took me by surprise. I asked Dallas about it and he said that I really was a Molly. In that it never crossed my mind to think badly of people or to judge them until those people had judged me or hurt me to the point of not wanting them around anymore. 

Then this last week there has been some things on Facebook about minding your own business and that it isn't our job to judge. I truly, truly believe this. 

Betty White said "...Mind your own business, take care of your affairs and don't worry so much about other people." The reason I like this is because it is TRUE. 

I was so consumed by other people that I let Facebook drama and family drama, and other people drama, to worry me. I couldn't do what I know I should, which was to do as my mission president told me when I finally learned to serve. He told me " Forget about yourself and go to work. You can't show charity and love if you don't forget about you and go to work." ( President Quist) 

I am not a missionary any more. But the idea is the same. If I forget about myself there are plenty of ways to serve. But you can only do that when you do truly forget about yourself. You stop worrying about other people. You don't worry who has what, who has more money, who is getting more time with grandparents, who is hurting your feelings or a many array of things that truly don't matter. Instead you get to work. You look around you and say " Oh look, that person on facebook said they were struggling today. Maybe I could take them dinner." Or " Look, my mom is really struggling today with her self esteem, maybe I should send a card." It won't even get there for a few days but by then YOU have forgotten about it and you have ust made that persons day. You do that as a mom daily when you don't worry if they have the best clothes, an ipad or even vacations, but you truly love them, cherish them and put them first. 

Another of the things that has been brought up by others in our mission is the quote " My God, my Companion and me. It is just us a three." Life went so much better when we put someone else first. I struggled with that for SO long. But when I have spent the month focusing on Dallas, life has been So much better. Why? Because showing him Charity ( or the pure love of Christ) has shown him how important he is in our family unit. It has given me a whole new respect for him as my spouse and to allow me to think of someone else. In turn, I have been able to count my blessings and see where I am even more blessed than I realized. 

My sweet Auntie Loretta posted this the other day. I found it to be very profound. 

I can do so much better at his. But this is what I am working on this school year. Think of others and not myself. It isn't my job to judge other people. It is only my job to love them.

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