Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Fertility, Infertility, Babies, Adoption = Heartache

When someone announces a pregnancy, most envision that it goes with lots of happiness and joy from those around them. But not in my world

When someone says they are having infertility issues, there is a happiness of "YAY a sisterhood."

If you tell me that you won’t be having more kids because you are infertile, the sisterhood comes out.

You just pop out and say We have a baby from adoption, I think.. hmmm I am infertile.

So why the downer you say......

After 4 years of depleting our savings account. Feeling desperate and doing all I could. Doing all WE could to have a baby, we have come to a cross roads that will make it all come to an end.

December 13th we are having a hysterectomy. Any chance to carry a child is gone. As of 3 weeks from now, I am not a child bearing women any longer. This makes me so sad, lonely and all of the emotions that come with the infertility, lack of fertility and even the “confirmed” feelings that we have more waiting in the wings. The wings are over. We have no more options.

So, while we deal with the ramifications of what the fertility treatments did to my body and spirit and marriage. We also get to deal with the ramifications of the aftermath that we get to do to my soul and spirit.

We can no longer have any more babies.


The Henrys said...

I'm so sorry Nancy Big hugs to you!!!

carly said...

So sorry about this. I honestly don't know if I'm considered "infertile" at this point, but I am on my second month of progesterone and clomid hoping for some ovulation. I am so happy for you that you were able to have one more baby after your miracle, and am hoping for the same for me and my sweet son and hubby. Gook luck!

PWD said...

Sorry Nancy. For me the loss of the hope or "wings" was as real and tangible as it could be. It was as much of a grieving process as loosing a family member. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers because I think that is all that gets me through since this is still new and still close to my heart!