Sunday, August 21, 2011

Consideration and Validation

I have been thinking of these 2 words for a long time. At first I didn't think they went together. But the last 3 months I have realized they do go together.

A wise stuffed Bear once said "A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference." Winnie the Pooh

A stuffed bear had a good point. Several really. Tonight my feelings are very hurt. So hurt that I have wondered what I did wrong? Like I feel I need validation all because consideration wasn't given to me.

Since having Tyler I have tried to reach out to others. I have tried to be open and honest in our blog and at support groups about the trials we face. It was done for me. I met a wonderful women named Stacy. We are still friends today. She was honest. BRUTALLY honest about what we were facing and I appreciated that.

As stuff came up with Tyler I never thought I would deal with she was right there. She Validates my feelings and never dismisses them as weird, inferior or the likes. She validates me even though her situation is not near as grim as ours.

When something goes wrong most people just want someone else to show some consideration and give them validation. A simple. " Oh no that is horrible. I can't imagine." Goes a long way when someone is not looking for a solution to a problem.

When something is exiting or new or something that has been anticipated for a LONG time and someone wants to show others their new "toy" they are looking for validation.

Our new toy is our sweet baby. We want everyone to be excited for us and come and oh and aww and drool over him. But since I know that is unrealistic, I take that into consideration. Those that do come are just being considerate and validating my feelings even if those are not the feelings they feel themselves.

Today that consideration for my feelings was taken from me. I felt horrible because I have given all the consideration and concern that I have felt towards their situation in genuine care. I was left feeling sad and that I don't matter and that I can be a doormat for those who feel they are superior to me, when in fact, those who treat others that way are not.

I was sad because they didn't take into consideration any of the groups feelings and became contentious. In 3 Nephi it tells us that the person who is contentious is not of our Heavenly Father. Which validates ME who was hurt.

All I want is for my family to be able to share an event with our family and those in our extended family that wants to come. The travel to get our children to us has been such a long hard road to get them here that we are proud of them.

Please be considerate. We will over more than the same back.


~NICKY~ said...

I feel the same way about other things. Sometimes just hearing "Oh gosh, that is so nice!" just having someone there even to just listen to makes a difference. They don't need to give their input, just listen. Don't feel that you need to be validated for anything! Love ya Nancy.. Give my little G-man kisses for me, and tell Tyler the Professor can't wait for our daily talks! :)

Singedwingangel said...

You know what I am excited for you, I am thrilled that you know where your blessing are and never fail to count them as such. You enjoy your family and don't let someone else bring you down