Speechless

"If one could only learn to appreciate the little things ... A song that takes you away, for there are those who cannot hear. The beauty of a sunset, for there are those who cannot see. The warmth and safety of your home, for there are those who are homeless. Time spent with good friends for there are those who are lonely. A walk along the beach for there are those who cannot walk. The little things are what life is all about. Search your soul and learn to appreciate."

-- Shadi Souferian

The past 5 years have invoked some pretty raw emotions on so many levels. While I go through stages of grief not unlike any other parent of a special needs kiddo, there are times when it is all OK. Where a daily reminder is not needed. The limp is there and I don't hate Cerebral Palsy so badly that I am sad. It is a time when it really is no big deal.

A few weeks ago I went to our pediatricians office and got paper work for a handicapped parking permit. Up until then I didn't feel we "needed" it. But as the weeks have gone on I am SO thankful that we were able to get it. It makes Ty feel more independent because he can walk into the stores. It has allowed us to encourage him to walk because we are closer to our destination.

So why the speechless.... When using the handicapped parking permit we get LOOKS. Dallas and I try hard to not use the permit unless Tyler is with us. But I find we get the looks when Tyler IS with us. See I get out my kid, put him on the ground and we start walking. We get the look of " Umm who is handicapped?"

The other day we were at walmart. Ty has discovered if we don't have something he wants, we can " go to a store." Sometimes he is good in the store and sometimes he isn't. This particular trip was rushed and he was really wanting to get a book or something that was not on the "list." So he was just jabbering and signing he was Hungry.

We got up to the cash register and the cashier NEVER looked me in the face but STARED at Tyler. I knew she was staring but I figure that it was cause he was babbling weird almost discernible words.

As I swiped my card she asked " What is wrong with HIM?" Saying him kinda distastefully. I just answered back what do you mean. She said " Like he has a bunch of scars on his head and he seems slow"

I WAS SO MAD.

My answer was not the best. I just said he has a lot surgeries on his head but he isn't slow. He is really smart. I grabbed my stuff and left.

Sometimes I don't know how to react. Sometimes I get so taken back that I get a little speechless.