Communication AGAIN!

Communication is such a HUGE huge part of life. Sometimes it is UP and sometimes we are really really low. I think it depends on how much improvement we feel or see AND if I feel, as a mom, that I am working with him enough or not enough. One thing I have to remind myself a lot is that I can't change where the damage is in his brain. I can't control what the damage did. Though there is a lot of mommy guilt over it I often still wonder if I did everything I could.

We have had Ty in speech for what feels like forever. We rarely see improvement. In fact so rare that discouragement, defensiveness and anger, mixed with guilt is often found. Why would I be defensive? Because of the above mentioned mommy guilt. Little comments made makes me feel bad or that I am being judged. Anger because I am trying and we DO want him to do these things. And then of course the mommy guilt kicks in again.

Having his IEP the last week and gearing up for the CP clinic at Shriner's my mommy guilt was rising. Its hard to hear that your child is only participating at a specific level because of his disabilities. Its hard to know that they aren't sure if he can do certain things because he doesn't talk. Or sometimes they don't think he can do things because he is so stinking stubborn he won't participate.

While I went to my parents I used the die cutters and got us some Numbers and letters. All different colors and laminated them. Cut them out and we have PLAYED non stop with letters and numbers.

At first I thought it was just gonna be something he would take and throw ( which he does) but he gets what it is. We went through and went through sounds and he can say more than a dozen sounds. Putting them together with something else is still a huge struggle but we are getting sounds out.

Everything we do every single day is trying to get a new sound out for Tyler. Everything we pick up we sound it out. Every circle, shape, etc we ask him what it is and ask him to draw it for us. We encourage him to "pretend" play with whatever he is watching.

In the last 4 weeks he has started doing all those things that we have worked so hard. It is a SLOW process and we are frustrated some days. I honestly feel that communication with him right now is MUCH MUCH easier.

The best thing for me is if I ask him a yes and no question I get a real answer. Not a sound for yes. But a YEAH. A real no and he has an opinion about those yes and No's.

Today we also quizzed him in what letter was what and hew as able to go through and pick correctly. I now get to try again to see if it was a fluke or if he really does know his letters. He knows his numbers and shapes. What more does a 4 year old need right ?

A 4 year old needs a voice. We are finding that voice.