WE ALL REALLY THINK WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN.
As mothers we have the ultimate guilt all the time. Did I do enough today? Did he watch to much Tv? Did I try to engage him in something good? Are they eating enough? Is he sick? Why did he throw up? And sometimes when the day is hard and the day is long and the day is full of disappointments and the mommy guilt is to much we get even more down on ourselves.
A phenomenon in the women world is how MEAN we are to each other. Honestly, Men don't do this to each other ( OK maybe a few do) but I never hear my husband say in Elders Quorum or on his blog or on twitter or a text that he was offended or hurt. (I don't know what it is about girls.)
Like I said in my other post I have really prayed hard to have the feelings go away. As I went about the morning I was so angry about something I had read. I really needed it to go away if I was going to be a mom today.
Elder Eyring's talk a month ago helped. Here are a few of the things I found.
"Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves.I’m trying to be like Jesus; I’m following in his ways.
I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,
“Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.”2
That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love."
The last statement of how the greatest joys and sorrows are felt in a family. That is so true. And I wish I didn't know that right now. I am ready to feel the joys.. Not the sorrows.
Whether people think of others as full of drama, that they are doing this to themselves or that we can find anger and something wrong in everything that is going on. The end result is EVERYONE .. every mother I know is really trying their best to do what they think is best for their child.
I know I am just trying my best. I am trying my best and like everyone else don't want to feel judged or attack.
He closes by saying "I hope you will go out today looking for opportunities to do as He did and to love as He loves. I can promise you the peace that you felt as a child will come to you often and it will linger with you. The promise is true that He made to His disciples: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you."
4 comments:
Very interesting, and I agree. I have been very grumpy lately, but I just explain to people that my life is a bit different from theres so please bear with me.
BEAUTIFULLY Said!
Well said, Nancy. First, I hope I'm not one of the ones you are talking about, cause if I am, please know that I never mean to say something hurtful, and try my hardest to not say anything to anyone that could come across that way. But I am sure that at times I have said something (to you or to someone) that came across wrong. Because, like you, I simply DON'T understand some women's tendency to be so mean. I have been fortunate to know very few of those people, but I have known a couple. I try to keep them out of my life as much as possible. I have known more women who have the unfortunate ability to always say the wrong thing. Over, and over, and over. I've taken to kindly pointing out how their remark made me feel. Sometimes they turn out to be the first kind, but more often they are simply the "speak without thinking" type. Sometimes they have to have it pointed out to them over, and over and over. But I have found that a lot of it is in MY attitude. It's easy to look first to see the hurtful things, and anticipate being hurt and judged, especially since, as you pointed out, we mothers are GREAT at guilt, it's easy to assume that others are out to get us, so to speak. But a change in my attitude has made me see things more from other people's perspectives. They don't know the details of my life, and just so, I don't know the details of theirs. Not that it gives anyone the right to be mean, but I truly believe that the ones who are just plain mean people are few and far between. Or at least, I have had the pleasure of knowing so very few of them.
Thanks Amys and nope not you. I have appreciated your love and support. I think since all of us have started walking a different path it has helped to have some support. I think it is the attitude and mine has sucked latetly. I am willing to admit my faults. I wish women were more supportive of each other regardless of knowing the circumstances of others lives. More so than anything just because we are mothers and wives and have a million things to do whether the path is different or not.
Thanks again for your love and support.
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