Happy Birthday Grayson!

I finally have a chance to sit down and write a little. I stink at actually recovering so now that I have overdone it, I have some time to sit and watch my 2 boys and fall in love more and more.

On Monday we had a bunch of errands to run and I had gotten our time for our C section. It wasn't scheduled until way late on Tuesday so I took Ty out to lunch and D took him to get his haircut. We played outside and I honestly left so much to be done on Tuesday. But I had all day so no biggie.

Tuesday morning I was enjoying a morning snack of snap peas and the hospital called and wanted us there at 1:00 pm instead. They checked to see if my snap peas were going to be a problem and to tell me no more fluid. I hadn't had a glass of water yet so I took a phenergran and that was all the fluid I had since 10:30 the night before.

We go to the hospital and waited for what felt like forever. Grayson always had some issues staying on the monitors. If you put a monitor on him you could bet he was moving to my back to keep himself off. No exception this time. I was having contractions but nothing frequent and they knew I wouldn't have made it much further. The progesterone was taken an extra week to help him stay one more week. Finally, the anesthesiologist came in to do my IV. Because I was so dehydrated the nurse couldn't see or feel the veins, they waited for the "main" dude. He missed. 3 times. Finally I had a IV placed in my upper arm. It was out of the way but it didn't last much longer than my section.

I was wheeled in to the OR and Soon after a baby was born. Grayson was born at 4:46 pm. 9 whole minutes from the time they made the first cut. He weighed in at 6 lbs 4 oz. And was 18 inches long. I had a lot of scar tissue to go through but the sound of him crying was so amazing.

I turned to Dallas and we both kinda smiled and off D went to go with Grayson. They brought the baby back in. He was screaming the whole time he was getting weighed. He had amazing apgars and did so well. It was the best sound to listen to while I laid there.

After they brought him in I sent Dallas to stay with him. He needed to go to the NICU for Cpap but they didn't say anything to me until a while later. I was so sad. I thought for sure that we were in for a stay. I was wheeled out of surgery and into recovery where I asked obsessively for updates. Before we left to go to mother and baby we went into the NICU. It was so surreal being the ginormous baby in the NICU. When I saw him he was off the Cpap and off oxygen and just waiting to be released.

I went into my room and soon after my mom and dad were there hoping to see a baby. They brought my big baby with them so I was glad to have him there. He kept asking me if my ankles were broken. He really lighted my mood. It was taking forever for them to bring Grayson in because he was released right around shift change so I kicked everyone out to go to the nursery while I pumped.

It was still awhile before he got back to me but when he did I was SOO in love. Dallas gave him to me to try and nurse but that was kinda a bunk idea. So Dallas and the nurse gave him his first feeding by him sucking on D's finger. Half of the night was spent with Dallas holding our sweet new baby. He went home around midnight and the rest of the night was spent with me holding him. I didn't want to give him back. I had the hardest time sleeping and didn't get any sleep. I just was so uncomfortable that I just couldn't sleep.

As soon as my epidural wore off I was out of that bed. By 3 in the morning I had gotten up and walked around my room. The catheter was out by 5 and I had a nice walk around the halls around 7.

My mom was there that morning to see me and finally get to hold Grayson. Dallas and Tyler came and then my sister and brother were there to see us. They soon left and my mom took Tyler home where everyone played and Dallas and I were there. At that point I was pretty sure that Dallas was totally in love. We wanted this baby for so long that it was amazing.

I was able to go home really quickly. My doctor was really amazing and knows about Tyler and I really wanted to get home. Ty loves talking about his brother but not touching him. Having him in the hospital was hard and having me gone at home was really hard. My mom also got a horrible infection in her leg and it was just easier for me to get home. So he said that as soon as I felt ready that day I could go. I thought about stretching it out till later in the afternoon but I was ready to go.

The recovery hasn't been much of a recovery but the best part: I feel pretty good. After the whole disaster from before I was very nervous. But I have felt really good. I have pushed myself to hard the last few days but today I took it way easy.

Grayson is doing really well. He is nursing like a champ. He has his nights and days messed up and I end up feeding all night. He is still really little but didn't lose any from the hospital. He isn't at risk for jaundice either. He is such a small peanut.

Overall, the pregnancy and birth was just what we needed. I would have stayed pregnant longer if I could. Going into the NICU to see my baby was the hardest thing I had to do. Having him with me was the most amazing thing. Having him come home with me.. totally priceless.

He has healed a lot of wounds. Some still are there. But he is a great baby and a great start. He is amazing.

~ Preemie Fact: Half of all neurological disabilities in children are related to prematurity. ~

In September for Tyler's Birthday I posted his birth story. I am going to re post it in Honor of him and his life and for raising awareness. Please take the CHALLENGE! Blog ( one blog) in honor of a premature infant to raise awareness. Everyone deserves their nine months.

Four years ago I was laying in a hospital bed being told that I was going to have to deliver my son. I was told not to yell, scream, cry, or even throw up.

My only thought......It was to early……

September 20th 2005 : I had been feeling really yucky all day. I had been up for most of the night not feeling well. Having some strange cramps and some strange discharge ( hindsight it was my mucus plug) There was something not right. I called my doctor and the nurse told me to take it easy and not do anything, that I was being a paranoid first time mom. I stayed on the couch watching TV and doing homework. Dallas came home early from work and he had to go to a job interview that night. I decided to go to work. I was sitting at work so no big deal. He was going to drop me off and when my shift was over he would come and get me. Big Brother season finale was on and we were gonna watch it together. I got off work and he was not there yet. I called him and he was on his way so I decided to walk and meet him. BIG mistake. I started to cramp that evening but the Nurse earlier said that if there were less than four in an hour then it was not a big deal. So I was up and down with the feeling that I needed to go to the bathroom. I couldn't go but I really had to. I decided to eat something. It all came back up. I keep getting sicker and sicker as the night went on.

We decided that I had a bladder infection and that we needed to go to the ER. We decided to go to Alta View so that Dallas and his Dad could give me a blessing. ( At the time they lived close by Alta View) Dallas went into the ER and told them that I was sick and outside so if they could help me. They took me into the Labor and delivery part of the hospital.

I had the most wonderful nurse. Her name was Windy. She had me take a urine sample and put on a monitor. The monitor didn’t pick up anything including a heart beat. They had to get the Doppler out just to find a heart beat. I could feel Tyler kicking the whole time and knew he was alive but they couldn't find him. They figured I had a bladder infection. They were not in a hurry to get things moving knowing a bag of fluid and antibiotics would send me on my way. But it was more than that.

I was having a baby!! And it was too soon.

The room went crazy. Nurses were everywhere and doctors were called. I was laying there so confused and thinking that it was to early. That he was not really coming and they were wrong. They tipped my bed upside down and started me on Magnesium to stop the labor and gave me shots of steroids to help Tyler's lungs.

There was nothing they could do he was coming.

15 week early.

It was to early. I knew deep in my heart that it was to early. If he came now he would not make it. I would go home empty handed with a broken heart.

They called maternal life flight to come and get me. They got there and I was to far dilated to take on the helicopter. For two hours they sat there discussing what they should do with me. At that point they called pediatric life flight to take my extremely tiny infant somewhere where they could help him. You see, we made the wrong choice. We went to the wrong place. We went someplace that didn't take care of sick babies.

With me staying and Tyler going they decided to do a c-section at that point and do it without being in an emergency situation. My water had not broken yet. His feet were hanging out. He was coming. The nurse put in my catheter and my water broke.

It became an emergency situation.

As I was wheeled into the OR I had to leave the love of my life behind with no idea how or what the future held for our son. We loved him so much but had never met him. He was too soon!!! As I moved onto the operating table from my bed I had another contraction. Up till this point I had no pain medication. The anesthesiologist decided that I had had enough and didn’t even wait to start putting me under. The last thing I remember was them draping my belly.

Waking up I immediately asked for Dallas and they let him in and he told me that they were working on him and that he had seen him and that he was alive. Dallas had been watching them do CPR on our little son. I then went back to sleep. On the way back to my room I remember being wheeled past my parents and everyone telling me that he was beautiful. They were going to let me see him before they took him to LDS or PCMC. They wheeled him into my room. I couldn't really see him because I had to take my contacts out to have surgery. But Dallas gave him a blessing and I KNEW that we would be okay.

That day our family would be started that day.

Tyler Kenneth Brown, my sweet, amazing and miracle son was born at 1:24 AM on September 21st 2005. He weighed 1 lb 11oz. He was 13 inches long. He was life flighted by helicopter to LDS hospital where he would stay for 30 days. He would have one surgery, and suffer from grade 3 and 4 brain bleeds. He was transferred to have a reservoir placed for Hydrocephalus. He would stay at PCMC for 63 days. He would endure 2 more surgeries( reservoir placement and ROP stage 3) and many ups and downs. He came home one day before his due date…. December 23, 2005.