I am lucky that no one really reads this blog like they use to because this is not going to make anyone feel warm and fuzzy. But, right now I don’t feel all warm and fuzzy either.
When Ty graduated from preschool we were ready to send him into kindergarten. We had hoped he would mainstream ( mainstream = regular school with accommodations at the school that he is closest too) but it was suggested that he go to a smaller kindergarten with a few kids and have curriculum that would make it easier for him to mainstream ( see above) for first grade. As we prepared to send him to a smaller kindergarten we also found it was in a different school. Our local school is about 2 minutes away. Ty was bused to another school about 25 minutes away.
When he had his seizure in December he missed a lot of school. He also started his behaviors and now we a have landed a nice little spot in summer school because he didn't reach all his goals. It also has landed us in a land of unknown. Ty is like a little boy with out a home.
Ty has his IEP on Wednesday where I feel like my poor baby will not get what he needs or deserves. I have a list of things I want for him and a list of things I wish I could have for him. He learns. He LOVES school. He loves letters and he especially loves to read.
We know his limits. It makes it so that we have to make choices and decisions that others don’t understand unless they stand in our shoes for a little bit. There are days that are so hard that I can’t help but have tears come to my eyes for wishing it was just a LITTLE easier for him. It makes me angry at myself for feeling sorry for the things I have to do.
So many tears have fallen the last few days. With a sick baby Grayson and his long hours of nursing and sadness and the nights of carrying my sweet baby Tyler to bed when his poor body doesn’t bend and the broken pieces of my mommy heart. I am truly humbled, that I was entrusted 2 times, with 2 sweet little boys. Two times Heavenly Father didn’t forget me. With multiple times in a day He knows that I am not perfect He has remembered.
He will let the moon be closer..........