My friend Amy has a child who can't communicate. He gets frustrated and is left out of so many activities by his peers. By no fault of Oli's he gets frustrated. By no fault of Amy did she do anything to cause this to happen. In fact, just opposite. She had devoted her life to her son. Giving up so many hopes and dreams to work on what she can fix and make his life better.
Oli has gotten so much love and attention and care that he communicates...with his mom. Yet her heart hurts.
The last few days/weeks have been an emotional one for me, for some of the same reasons Amy is hurting. Tyler gets left out. He gets left in the "dust" as others speed away on a bike leaving his broken feet to chase after them wanting SOO desperately to go with them. He gets left out because he can't just run across the street. He can't see the cars coming. He doesn't play like a almost 6 year old but plays well with 2 and 3 year olds.
My heart hurts as I pack up my broken 5 year old and carry him home SOBBING because he wanted to ride a bike with the kids. But he can't ride a bike. Well, he can't ride THAT kind of bike.
My heart hurts as we go to a play place like Burger king and the play place is NOT handicapped friendly at all. Because he isn't "really bad" in the crippled department but he isn't really "good" either it feels like we are left in a weird spot.
It seems to be a common feeling every now and again. I think it is different for a parent where visible issues are there. Behavior things are there for lots and I get people might look at you funny at the store as they are melting down but to stare because they LOOK different is just cruel. To not be able to do things that your mind is screaming to do has to wear on a person.
Amy ( who is WISE beyond her years!) said once that even giving up our whole day to devote to our kids doing therapy for hours on end doesn't make for a very happy household, kid, hubby or wife or mom. It also doesn't always show the progress that much work should produce. Is there a good medium?
As Tyler's parent we want what is best for him. We do all we can as often as we can. These things are not going away. I wish they were. But most of all I wish they were for HIS sake.