Nerves

I haven't felt the best the last few weeks. I won't lie. BUT I am thankful I get to feel kinda yucky. That way I know the baby I am carrying is fine AND I get to have a baby. That is the big one. I can't shake the feeling of nerves though.

I am SURE anyone who has had a child with special needs of any kind worry and fret and freak out. This pregnancy is already so different from Tyler's. By this time we had already had bleeding and spotting. Nothing this time. We have seen the doctor 2 times though. So I am not sure if that has helped the nerves.

I dream about weird non existent deformities and problems. I devour google to find out what testing, pill, medical weirdo practice I can do to ward of evil demons of prematurity and other defects. Genetics just isn't on our side with some of it. I worry.. A lot.

Tomorrow we are going to the perinatalogist. I am excited, nervous and scared all in one. We will be putting into plan the rest of the pregnancy in hopes of having it end in a full term or almost full term baby. ( 35-37 weeks works for us!)

Tomorrow. I sure hope we get a peek too!