Monday, November 15, 2010

A Month of Thanksgiving

It was challenged a while back to give thanks for something on every day of the month. I rolled my eyes and thought that it was not something I wanted to do. But I digress. I do want to do it. So I am starting a little bit at a time. In hopes that for the rest of the month I can watch what I am thankful for and address it. So I can see the good mixed in with the not so good.

1- My Heavenly Father. The month of November started out great. I started with a new resolve to do my best. To wake up and try harder than the day before. One of those resolves was to get back to where I was at one point a long time ago. It meant self sacrifice of some sleep. But it also meant regaining a spot on my knees. I haven't prayed so hard, cried so much and pleaded for SOMETHING to change. For me to be strong. For me to forgive and for me to be the best mom in the world.

Because I can communicate with a loving Heavenly Father , I am able to work through my issues. Find a place where I am at peace. I have no answers as to help us work through other issues but I am SURE that as I try just a little bit harder, the answer will be there.

2- Dallas : I am thankful for him as a person, but also thankful for him as my eternal companion. He is my best friend. He knows me. He knows my reactions to things sometimes before I do. He usually does a pretty dang good job of warding off or sheltering me in someway if he knows it is going to hurt.

He was the one that really got us thinking about another baby. He is the one that I have to cry with. The pain is there for both of us. He gets the brunt of it because he deals with the hormones, the sadness and then the sickness. He deals with the money spent on negative tests and tissue paper.

But most of all, he is my partner. He created one of the most amazing things in our life. He fathers and parents this child with ease. He has rose to the occasion of figuring out how to make it easier for Tyler. He is a wonderful father.

3. Tyler: oh the words that I could use. I am so thankful for WORDS in general. He has them. Those are things we were never thinking we would hear. But we do hear them. Sometimes they are mumbled and sometimes they are wrong but most of the time they are funny, correct and often in perfect context and with a laugh. His spirit is so much bigger than he is. Every person that meets him, comments on how amazing his spirit is. We love him more than life itself.

He asks every day for a brother or sister to play. WE keep saying soon and he gets a bit frustrated. But he sweetly says soon when he asks. We love him.

4. Family- I am so thankful for my parents. They are such great people. We all go in spurts of needing time and space and boundaries put up but they are there when we are all ready and willing. They will always put their foot forward. They always are there for the kids, even if the parents aren't willing to behave!

I love that my dad will call in the morning and ask to talk to Tyler on his way to school. My mom will listen a million times to the pizza story just to hear him talk. And best of all, one phone call and a question can be answered. One request and they will come up and hold all of our hands while we work through pain, discomfort and sickness in any form .

Oh and my mom.. she plays the devils advocate... so therefore she is WRONG!

5. I am thankful for my sisters. I started with 2 sisters and gained Chantel. Chantel and I have had to work SUPER hard to get to where we are right now. But no pain no gain and I can honestly say, I love her. I love Tammy and Nicky too! I can pick up a phone, call either of them or wait online to tell Chantel what I think and some really great advice has come through the ends of the lines.

I am also thankful for my other sisters. Sheena, Crystal and Maegan and Jennifer. When I married into a WHOLE slew of girls I was so excited to have new "friends." While that happened for a while I can honestly say I miss my best friend Crystal. She is one that really could have helped me this year through all that we are dealing with. She is a great mom and a wonderful friend. I guess there is no rewind button to figure it all out.

Sheena... oh dear Sheena. I love you. You are a great mom as well. I would have given you the moon if you asked. I hope that you know how thankful I am for all you did for me.

Maegan and Jennifer. You are both so sweet and I hope that those continue. I am so thankful to both of you.

Sometimes I wish I had that best friend back. There are LOTS of stories that might make her laugh .

For more.... Come back tomorrow.

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