So, to start I just wanted to share a little bit of what I believe and then a little lesson in GERMS. Like I said it is going to be a little lengthy. ( Germs first!)
Growing up I can only vividly remember missing church MAYBE 5 times. Most of the time that church was missed by anyone in our family it was because we were sick. Like the sick person would stay home and the rest of us would go to church. While at the time I didn't think a thing of this I do now. In fact I think a great deal about it. And as I think about it I get kinda mad. And a little bit on the paranoid side.
If one of us was sick that meant that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US were sick. We were carrying a germ. At the time of growing up I didn't think about it because it wasn't a common occurrence and our ward at home was not that big.
Fast forward to 2005. In September you will recall the birth of a one pound baby. (If you don't read the freaking archives or the October Salt Lake Tribune, or click on a "tag" on my blog labeled MICRO PREEMIE... or better yet google it) (Like I said... I am a little ticked.) Anyway, while in the NICU our favorite Neonatologist cautioned us on germs and how things are spread and strict instructions were given on what is the WORST place to get germs. Church was the NUMBER ONE ON THE LIST. Why you ask? Because of the above for mentioned actions of Yours truly. Because one of them go to church carrying the germs that I would then pick up and take with me in to the NICU.
Fast forward 93 days in 2005 ( give or take) and we get a 5 pound newborn home and guess where they say we are NOT allowed to go. That's Right CHURCH. We wanted to have him blessed. We opted to do it at Church. Tyler came in after Sacrament had started and he left before it was over to avoid all the germs. We talked with our Bishop at the time and they brought the sacrament to us. The Relief Society sent one person a week to check on us and the Bishop stopped by. Making sure we were OK and that everything was going OK. That ward understood why it was important for us to NOT be there and to understand that we had and still do have faith and a belief in our religion.
Fast forward to 2009. That's right. While I no longer freak at every possibility of getting germs when an out break of something happens we tend to shrink away from heading into Church. Also keep in mind that we are not talking about a Utah ward of 200 or so people our ward is currently 800 people. That's right 800 people. If even HALF of them have been exposed to the flu we are talking 400 people who are sick. Its not a pretty idea for me. I get Anxiety even thinking about it.
My lesson to you...... If you have been around sick people or cared for a sick child keep your entire family home from church. They are sick. There are people who would LIKE to go to church and enjoy sitting in Relief Society without hearing, " My husband is home with our 3 sick kids so I could come to church" REALLY... Come on. I am no sitting next to you, where I will then bend over and pick up my kid and have the GERMS you brought to church go to him.
And just for your FYI and reading pleasure: KIDS WHO ARE BORN AT LOW BIRTH WEIGHT ARE CONSIDERED IMMUNOCOMPROMISED. NOT IMMUNOSUPPRESANT. BUT IT MEANS THEY GET SICK MORE THAN A NON IMMUNOCOMPROMISED PERSON. If you don't think they are that is fine. Let me tell you about the Swine flu post. Guess who got it. Tyler. Guess who didn't. A immunosuppresant person. So yeah.We catch things.
OK so that is my rant about sickness. And in the words of Barney " Keep your germs to your self don't give your germs to anyone else."
OK. Now on to my faith. Somewhere between leaving the nest of my parents and the feeding of the gospel being bird fed into my mouth I had to make a choice. I loved church as a college student and attended every week. I held various jobs. Some I loved and others not so much. I learned so much from one particular calling. I was the relief society president for over a year. I also worked full time and was attending UVSC. Yet I seemed to have it all together and worked hard. During that time I got the bright idea that I wanted to serve a mission.
I took out a loan, paid off my debt and started to get ready to go on my mission. It was while I was getting ready to serve my mission was when I came to the understanding of what the Gospel really meant to me. I have also grown and changed in what my Faith is since having a child. So please bear with me as I share a few of my thoughts.
I got called to Indiana. It was not the exotic mission of choice. I was with a bunch of girls that were going to Durban South Africa and I was going to Indiana. So, I struggled. A lot. Until I moved to South Bend. That is when I figured out a lot of things.
That is where my testimony grew and where I became a rock. Meaning, No matter what I have a belief of what I taught that no other faith or no matter what is said I know what I believe. This is when I met a few people who totally changed my life.
When Tyler was born we had a bishop that was not supportive of anything that happened. Because of this lack of support we moved. We really needed a support system. We moved into a ward that was very supportive.
When we moved to Arizona we were excited to start our journey. Ty was healthy and we were no longer in RSV season in Arizona so we got the go ahead to head to Church and we did. We went often in the beginning. When cold and flu season came around and we realized how large our ward was and how yucky it was we cut back. Then came time for Tyler to start going to nursery.
This is when my faith changed. You see. I still have a very very strong belief in the gospel. I listen and strive to do what is asked of me. But I have a hard time with this teaching of tolerance and the actions of others that is NOT tolerant.
When Ty was ready to go to nursery we took him in, sat with him and had his walker with us. We were told he was NOT allowed to have his walker because we had such a larger nursery he would run over the other little kids. So his only Independence was taken away. But what about all of the other kids that would run over MY kid. I felt that no understanding about our issues. So we kinda back off and since he couldn't go then we were backing off.
A year came and we would go sporadically. When he got old enough for sunbeams we took him and he would go and we liked it. We have gone most weeks since then. The ward is 800 people . Just because you don't see us doesn't mean we aren't there.
When we got back from vacation we had the swine flu. We were sick. We couldn't go anywhere. Including work. Let alone to church.
This week we didn't go to church because the person who is doing respite for us had the stomach flu. Meaning we were exposed and we KNOW that they won't missing so we didn't want to add more germs. We stayed home.
Fast forward to tonight. Its dinner time. the doorbell rings. The Elders are standing on our doorstep. We invite them in. Offer water, bathroom and then their question comes. They were told by a family that we were less active. That we were struggling and would probably benefit from them coming over.
We told them that was fine and they set up an appointment to "teach" us so they have a chance to get in their lessons for the week. But what chaps my hide is the above.
- If we are struggling then why is it that we don't have a priesthood holder EVER over to our home. We have never once seen a home teacher. The few men we do know are not " friends" nor our home teacher. When called they are usually busy or not answering. Which leaves us to attend to brain surgeries all alone. With no other person to help administer to our child.
- Why is i in a ward of 800 people I have ever visiting teacher over the age of 60. I have no friends, no family. Could you please give me someone that I could possibly become friends with.
- Ty has had 2 brain surgeries and there has no been any support from our ward. No volunteer to bring dinner. No help for us. No support.
- We have no friends. Our ward is not friendly at all. Unless you belong to the clique they have had formed for the last 6 years you are not invited.
- Tyler is different and though they all claim tolerance they have NO IDEA how to actually show that tolerance.
Instead you send the Elders over to my home to teach me and to tell me to go back to church when we never left. We just have to take it at our time because of the ignorance of others.
As I was deeply hurt by tonight's actions I read and reread an article by Boyd K. Packer. It is an article that has left me in tears tonight.
Some point from the talk:
- It is my intent to teach doctrine which, if understood, will reinforce your courage and endurance, even foster a measure of contentment with circumstances which you did not invite, do not deserve, but from which you cannot turn away. We didn't ask for this. We didn't deserve this. Tyler didn't ask or deserve this. But our love for him we can not turn away.
- Afflictions come to the innocent. Tyler is Innocent. He did nothing to deserve this.
Never Ridicule.
- Parents, take time in the next home evening to caution your family never to amuse themselves at the expense of the handicapped or of any whose face or form or personality does not fit the supposed ideal or whose skin is too light or too dark to suit their fancy. Teach them that they, in their own way, should become like angels who “move the water,” healing a spirit by erasing loneliness, embarrassment, or rejection.
You are all claiming to teach tolerance in our ward. We have seen no tolerance. We have not even seen love. Judgment and words like Retard have been thrown our way.
Pres. Packard continues:
Why not help the parents who have extra things to do and extra expenses and are confined because of a handicapped family member. Encourage the teachers and social workers who show such devotion to them. And it would’t hurt you to donate a few dollars or a few hours to one of the many organizations which help the handicapped. If we do this, without the slightest idea of selfishness, it will remain in our account against that time when we may need help. And the works of God will be made manifest in our lives.
“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
“For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.” (D&C 58:3–4.)
Why is it that they can't do that. Why is it that I am feeling alone? Why is it that I walk this route with no help from those very people who teach the above mentioned things.
I truly believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I truly believe that when we get to the next life Tyler Will Be whole. I honestly believe that. I honestly believe he is a miracles. I believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God. I believe in the Book of Mormon. I study and read often. I am sad that those in our ward and some in our family can't understand the plight we are in. And that you can't support us.
I am saddened. Please come and walk a week in my shoes. I know I have a child of God that I am raising. I am feeling that every day. I recognize the miracle that Tyler is. He is such a special spirit. I wish that those who have felt because we are not "Active" could feel the spirit we are cultivating.
Practice what you preach.
28 comments:
While I can understand your frustrations over what you have experienced about church, I think that your rant and view points are just as ass backwards as everybody you complained about.
You sit and spew about tolerance, but yet you have NONE yourself. People who have not walked in your shoes don't know what to say or how to react. When, on the chance, they do say something you get overly offended and then bitch them out for it. It makes people NOT want to talk to you, be around you and even more NOT HELP YOU!
Nobody in this world is going to offer help when they risk being told off, bitched out, or get any form of negative reaction from you. Kinda makes the rest of us want to say "screw you too".
I believe that your attitude and reaction to the things you experience are going to negatively affect Tyler. What are you teaching him? To be offended and pissed off when somebody might say something stupid? Just like you rant about tolerance, and loving all, you are showing him how to be intolerant and showing him total ignorance in dealing with people in general.
Your child has his challenges, yes. I won't deny you that. But you are raising him to see nothing BUT his differences. By complaining about things all the time, and getting pissed off when somebody shows their 'ignorance' at your situation. Seriously Nancy, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT and LOOK AROUND!
Tyler will probably always struggle in this life, but you are doing him NO GOOD by teaching him that the world should bend over backwards to meet his needs. The world isn't like that. In this world Ty is the minority and HE MUST LEARN to fit into this society as best as he can. It can be done, I've seen it! Coddling him and showing him that you're gonna get pissed off when things don't go your way, is not only going to make him a totally miserable child, but it's going to make people DISLIKE you more than they already do.
So what it comes down to, Nancy, is people don't offer you help because they 1.) don't like being around bad attitudes, of which you constantly have one 2.) nobody likes to be preached to about how much more special your child is than theirs. ALL children have their own special needs and parents should learn to work within those needs to make their child functional in society 3.) and I can totally understand, having been RS president, compassionate service leader, and residing in the home of a bishop, and then stake president, WHY they have stopped communicating with you. Your negative and you make people feel like total crap all the time when they don't pat your little head and tell you you're such a good girl.
Get over it, grow up and and actually teach your child something that will HELP him in life not hinder him. Are you seriously happy in your life with the attitude you currently have?
Oh Nancy. I'm sorry. While I never thought about the challenges of germs that you face, I am grateful to be enlightened. I would definitely bring you dinner (and lunch too!). Have you tried asking for a home teacher that could help you in your situations? Sometimes, asking for help goes a long way.
By the way, I remember that time in the MTC. I think Indiana sounds exotic to me.
I'm sending you a hug!
i do not even know where to start- nor do i have time to sit and write all my thoughts ad they come to me...
but i will say this: nancy, you are doing a great job raising tyler and following the promptings of the spirit to care for him.
and for anonymous- i just think its hilarious you kept your identity secret. you were rs president?! eek.
oh and nancy- i know that comment is going to be VERY tempting to delete but i'd leave it there. it shows how mean and ignorant people can really be.
love you.
Nancy..........my heart breaks for you and the struggles and trials that you are facing in this time in your life now.....when you feel alone....remember you are never alone.....Christ is always with you and your precious Tyler :) However harsh Annonymous' comments were....there were some truths to some of the things she said. I am not there to experience what you are experienceing so I don't know...but I do have a good sence of the anger and recentment that you are carrying....yes probably a reaction from how you've been treated...but a reaction that is in everyway in your power to control. The savior himself experienced all that you have experienced and more....how did he handle it? With love and compassion for those that purcecuted him. Remember his pray to the father for them...."father forgive them...for they know not what they do" (sorry probably not the exact words...I'm terrible at quoting scriptures lol...but the point is made) :) Believe it or not..when I moved to the Elkhart 1st ward...I felt alone....people were very friendly...but it was mostly the older ones....all the women that i thought I could really hang with were in cliques. Still don't really talk to me and I've been here for 10 years! I decided that I would be the one that would reach out....I'm not saying that you are not reaching out...because I don't know...I'm just sharing my experience. I decided that young or old I was going to show love to all and make whatever friends I could. I wanted to be a part of this ward and now I am :) There are still some that I don't really know ...but I have learned that everyone has there issues and sometimes the reasons people aren't as friendly to others is because of their own insecurities..not because of any problems they have with me...and if they do have a problem with me that is THEIR problem not mine! I just continue to pray for them and stay as close to my heavenly father as possible so I can be the person he wants me to be....regardless of how I am treated by others. Remember people are not perfect....the gospel is. While the people teaching the lessons may they themselves need the lesson more than anyone else listening to it....the lesson itself is true regardless of who is teaching it. When I become offended.....I try to remember...that we are not to let ourselves be offended and to..."love them anyway!" Nancy...like I said before in a comment....you are where you are for a reason ....whether it is to teach them or them teach you or probably both.....on your end....show love always....you did that on your mission here and so many of us will never forget you for it :) And Ask for the help you need....if your visiting teachers and hometeachers aren't coming....ask for ones that will...go to your bishop and tell him what you need....people generally respond when they know what you need. I've had lots of home teachers that didn't visit...so when that happaned...I just asked for ones that would...and then I recieved some of the best! :) My love to you Nancy....and your family....you will get through this and you'll be a better stronger daughter of God for it :)
Dear Anonymous: I appreciate your comments and will be looking at aspects of my life. But I do think I would like to address a few things. One if you want to remain anonymous that is fine. I respect that but you must not spend much time around me or my family.
We NEVER ask for help from the ward. It has never been us ASKING for help. Just more knowing ( having been a Relief Society president myself) that in certain times and situations it should be OFFERED.
This blog was written when things were just happening. Rarely do I get offended to such a degree as this one. I understand people don't know what to say but ignorance is still not an excuse to exclude someone.
I again would ask, how do you know what I teach Tyler. We just got a new worker in our home. We have repeatedly told her over and over HE CAN DO LIKE ANYONE ELSE he just takes a little more time. In which she has responded that he is MORE WORK than her TYPICAL kids. And that MORE Work is mine. With a smile EVERYDAY. We are not teaching him intolerance. Just opposite. We KNOW he can do what ever one else does.
As far as him learning to fit in. In order to TEACH him to fit in he has to understand he is different. Which according to you I shouldn't be doing. He is different but he is such an amazing little boy he will fit in.
Communication from the ward didn't STOP it never started. WE never had any body coming over from the ward ever. What we did have was me volunterring, offering etc. They still call me to take meals and other things to other sisters. So again you are grossly mistaken.
If anonoymous was a person in our ward ( which looking at my site meter I won't divulge) You can see our love in our ward. It is so nice to feel the love and support there.
Thank you others for your wonderful comments. I am not "offended" at anonoymous. I can take critism. I do have blog!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I stopped going to church when I was 13.
Nancy I'm sorry this happened =( I wish there was something I could do to help. Although Wesley's issues are different in some ways than Tyler's, I can still offer encouragement and hope! People assume Wesley is autistic, and kids point and talk when they see his hearing aides. It hurts but I just try and teach him something from every situation. The worst is when parents either ignore their kid's comments or encourage their ignorance.
Anyway, sounds like you are having great progress in Speech/communication =) He is a precious boy!
And "Anonymous" has a stick up her @ss...hope she can come back to Earth...she was a "compassionate" service leader? If someone residing in my stake president's home acted like that, I'd go somewhere else. Church is the one place where no one should have a negative experience.
Although I agree that help should be offered, it's sometimes better if you do ask. I'm inactive because it's hard to take a 2 year old and a 1 year old on my own because my husband is not a member. I know that I'm only making my own excuses in that aspect of my life and I know that what follows my choice is only my problem. But, my RS pres doesn't know when I need things unless I tell her. Even when I DO make an effort to go... the ward members aren't psychic. If you have something coming up like a surgery... LET SOME ONE KNOW! I recently had knee surgery and I called my RS president a week previous to let her know it was happening. I didn't request any meals during this conversation, I just wanted her to be aware that it was happening. The following week... meals were brought in. If you're not telling people the things that are going on in your life, especially in a ward of 800, how are they to know?
I agree with the previous anonymous comments about teaching your child (and yourself) to back away from the ignorance that is being pushed toward you. Two wrongs don't make a right. They'll be judged for their actions but YOU'LL be judged for yours. You can't go around making people feel bad for trying. Although the elders showed up in a manor that may not have seemed great to YOU... have you ever thought that maybe there is some one in your ward that cares enough to see that some one is visiting you? Whether they see you at church or not doesn't mean they're not trying to get some priesthood in your home. Have you tried to see the POSITIVE spin on the situation? One of my favorite Bishops told once that if you have worry or contention in your heart, there is no room for faith. Don't let the members of the church keep you for your salvation. The gospel is true, the members aren't the gospel... don't let blessings you need for you and your child fall by the way side because you're too stubborn to see that people ACTUALLY DO CARE.
Nancy, your comment as follows proves one of my points:
"...Communication from the ward didn't STOP it never started. WE never had any body coming over from the ward ever..."
Most people in this life will NOT just offer help to a person that they a.)don't know, and b.) have only seen have a negative attitude about things in life. It goes back to the whole "ask and ye shall receive" thing. If you need help THEN ASK FOR IT! We were NOT instilled with the ability to read minds. So, if you have such a huge problem with your ward, of which I am not a part, ASK. Go to the bishop, sit down with him and ASK for help! Call your RS president and talk to her. Ask your EQ president to give you Home Teachers that will actually magnify their callings.
As far as the ward calling you to take meals to others in their times of need, I can totally understand that. The way you portray yourself and your family is that you are in need of help ALL THE TIME! Families need help when a tragedy arises or upon the birth of a new baby. You make it seem that if you don't have people coming and helping you all the time, then screw them! What kind of attitude is that to have.
As for the comments about "a member of the church/RS president/child of a priesthood leader, not speaking in the way I have been speaking...I urge you all to rethink why we're here! If any of you self righteous women want to stand and cast the first stone and say you have NEVER used a bad word, talked harshly to somebody, or even told somebody off...I urge you to do that. I can GUARANTEE that in you saying that, you will be lying not only to yourself, but to your Savior too. He is the only perfect that has ever lived in this world, and He will be the judge of my actions and of yours.
I can assure you that Stake Presidents, RS Presidents, heck, even members of the General Authority of this church are all HUMAN beings and have just as many flaws and imperfections. I sat one day, watching a stake president, with his two sons (one a bishop and the other an EQ president)try to build a fence. The language that came out of them would have made any sailor blush. Again, HUMAN! The reason we're here. And believe me, I toned down what I was going to say. I had my husband proof read it before i read it so that it wouldn't be 'overly offensive' to 'virgin holier than thou ears'.
Nancy, from the bottom of my heart I wish you all the luck in the world with Ty. He is a great kid, and one of the cutest kids I've ever seen! He has the potential to be anybody he wants to be. I would urge you, though, to really closely examine what you say, when you say it, and how you say it. Through your words and actions you alienate people who are just unsure of how to help you. "Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you".....
And yes, to those of you who thing i should NEVER have been RS president...I totally agree! I wouldn't wish that calling upon my worst enemy. But, I did my job and I did it to the best of my ability. If the Lord put me in that calling, I'm guessing there was a reason He did that. When I was called, there were 46 families in my ward on Church Welfare. When I released 4 years later, all but 5 of those families had found gainful employment, were successful and were OFF of welfare. I think that shows my time in that calling as a success. Yea, some people didn't like me, but honestly, I really don't care. I am who I am and I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do.
And now, as it's said...that's all I have to say about that.
Nancy,
I want you to know you to that your a wonderful mom to Ty don't ever forget that. People that don't have special needs kids don't have an idea as far as what we go through day in and day out and they are very quick to judge.
Sorry Nancy but I have to say this ....
"Anonymous" your very childish for not using your real name.You need to grow up, also swallow your pride and have some compassion and walk in the parents shoes for once,then you would see a whole new picture because having a special needs child is not easy and we do not ask for any kind of special treatment or handout.
Have you ever taken the time to ever educate your self about having a special needs child ....
( i guess not)
Because your ignorance shows in your reply post .
I am done ranting hang in there nancy lots of hugs to you and ty
I do not expect help from my ward any given time other than when we were in NEED. Meaning the 2 brain surgeries we had it would have been nice after I DID contact my RS president to have meals brought in. He was sick.
I do not need any help any other time. I don't expect it any other time. We don't need the ward to pay our bills, our mortage or even give us food. We are doing it on our own AND we are paying our tithing hoping that in turn it is helping someone really in need.
I love Tyler and don't teach him he is different other than the things that he HAS to know. He isn't like the other kids. He knows he isn't but being different isn't bad. I love having him around me and would NEVER want someone to come in and take that away. If you have met my son in way or know he is so cute etc. the you would know ME as a person. And from the way you are talking you don't. Our house is not negative. Our house is full of laughter and love.
Thank you for the discussion. I don't get my feelings hurt THAT easily. It is interesting to see others point of view.
Lauriann--What makes you think that I, myself, do not have a special needs child in my life? I have 3 autistic children in my life. All of them have to live with varying degrees of the disease--one of them being a 5 year old that has never said a word in his life--so I ask, who are you to judge me, when you have no clue who I am or what my situation in life might be.
Wow, Nancy, I just read through all these comments and I am floored. I hope that you don't take 'anonymous' comments to heart. You are a great mom and doing what you can. I have been in different wards... some good.... some harder to fit into. My ward is not aware of what goes on in my family either, and rarely helps out... if at all. It's hard to be in that situation. I hope things can get better. Good luck!
"anonymous" Its because you won't tell us who you are. I can't say the same thing about you. That you don't know me and how I live my life but I won't. I agree and valid points were made on ALL arguements. If you have Autistic kids it can be safe to say that You have need or evoked the help of your ward. I am glad that you have gotten it.
The church says: * Build relationships of acceptance and equality by seeing beyond the disability.
* Learn about the disability and how you can help. Get to know the person and/or the caregiver.
* Show compassion, sensitivity, and sincerity by respecting the individual’s wishes. Maintain a balance between helping and allowing the individual to grow by providing for him or herself.
* Prepare to accommodate individuals with a physical disability before Church meetings and activities begin. This may include providing ramps, seating accommodations, access to all facilities (including the pulpit), and media equipment. Facilities should be accessible to those who use wheelchairs, braces, artificial limbs, other assistive devices, or assistive animals.
* At least one restroom must be accessible for individuals with a variety of physical needs.
* Sit or kneel, if necessary, to visit at a level that is comfortable for both.
* Invite individuals with physical disabilities to participate and give service. Offer them opportunities to contribute spiritually.
* It is okay to ask if someone would like help, but do not assist a person without his or her permission. Consider safety and liability issues.
Al those things I HOPE happened to you. They didn't for me. Am I perfect? No. I would like to think so but I know I am not. While I do love my Savior I plan to implement a few things into my life that others have left here.
If you don't want others to judge you then TEACH them about who you are.
I can see where you are coming from to a point. I feel like i dont fit in in my ward really, but i have no excuse to feel this way. I choose to not go to church all the time or go to relief society activities, which are the perfect opportunity to get to know people. so i have no one else to blame but myself. but you know how i look at it? I KNOW people in my ward know what im going through. my husband is on a year long deployment to Afganistan. it sucks. bad. but i choose to ACT like im okay. i will never let anyone know that privately i cry myself to sleep. or that i constantly have a sick feeling in my stomach. a lot of people in my ward tell me "oh youre so strong and brave". well thats just what im pretending to be. like you, i wont show my struggles, so they really have no idea. and yeah, i get frustrated when i feel forgotten, i really have to remind myself that i never let it known that that is really what i want. i hope that all makes sense.
i know the members of our church can be critical, but thats in any religion, group or whatever. no matter where you live.
I understand exactly Tiffany. I do have to say that I have asked for help and/or told the RS president. ANd have told her counselours as well in my last visiting teaching interview. Also, if you aren't willing to help those in need if you don't know them then how are you Christlike. And HOW if you don't know someone or spend any quality time with them do you konw they are negative. Because you read it on a blog? ok.... Well that is a snap shot in time.
anonymous- i think we all know who you are.
Anonymous it seems like you have nothing else better to do with your time....
And as far as being judgmental I am not ... but don't go attacking a family that has a special needs child that you have no idea what there daily life is like at all...
Just a FYI by using very offensive language it is not acting very "Christ like" at all.
As a sister looking in at my nephew, I have seen how he has been treated by others.. And seeing the way this "anonymous" person has so "NICELY" put her opinion out here on my sisters blog.. If you don't like what people put on their blog, DON'T READ IT!!! I don't blame Nancy for being a little upset about what happened. Having a ward of 800 people, how do you know if 1 person doesn't show up?!? But reading the blog and posting something like that.. do you know people who are non-members read the blog? Do you think that they are going to jump right on the band wagon and want to learn the discussions when members of the church are treating other members like that.. I think not. Stop being so judgemental. I didn't quite get the comment that was said ... "And believe me, I toned down what I was going to say. I had my husband proof read it before i read it so that it wouldn't be 'overly offensive' to 'virgin holier than thou ears'. " so are you saying that you are better because you toned it down and YOU go to church? i think not.. but again in that same post, we are all human. Tyler is an amazing child and he is a miracle in our family. We Love Tyler so much! We are so blessed to have him here. We don't treat him any different then we do any of the other kids. LOL, we still give him every opportunity that the other kids have. NOTHING is going to stop him!
Beth.. You don't have to apologize to anyone. I do look up to your example you have always been. I love you!
ps. I saw a photo taken of me and you in the MTC. Napping on a Sunday afternoon. WE are SO cute!
This is Tara from high school. I don't know if this is going to show up as "anonymous" I am not THE anonymous, I just cant remember the password to my google account :)
This has proved to be very interesting reading for me today. Wow. It has made me extremely grateful for all I have in that 1.) I am grateful for my 4 kids and the fact that the biggest issues I have with them right now is that they talk back too much...for now. I am not naive enough to think that I am immune to heartache and pain, just grateful that, for now, my life is somewhat easy. 2.)I am grateful for the gospel. I am glad that through all of this you have kept your faith and will continue to do so. I am grateful for missionaries who care to come, even if they aren't really needed. 3.)I am grateful for a husband who would tell me to simmer down if I asked him to proof-read my unsolicited rant. 4.)I am grateful for an awesome ward full of giving people who remind me every day that the church is true. 5.)I am grateful for a visiting teacher who, despite her INCREDIBLY busy schedule took the time to make sure I had meals for my family all 5 days that my baby was in the hospital with RSV....even after I told her we were just fine. 6.) I am grateful for a girl named Nancy Labrum who sought ME out in advisory when I had absolutely NO friends and befriended me when I so desperately needed it. I wish I were in AZ to return the favor. and last but not least 7.) I am so very grateful for the fact that I don't know "anonymous". Because quite frankly, you scare the holy living crap out of me!! :)
You know what's unfortunate is that "anonymous" didn't stop when she said she would! It's people like you that pretty much chase people away from the church on a daily basis. I have never, and will never leave the church because of uneducated and unkind people like yourself...but if I were thinking about it you'd be just the one to give me a push! I am firm in my belief that the gospel is true. I am also firm in my belief that if you leave the church it is you and you alone that has to face the consequence. Nobody is responsible for your salvation except for you! It's interesting to me that you hide behind your words. I'm glad to hear that you were shocked to be called as RS president. I have never encountered a women as brash and ignorant in this position before, and never hope to. I'll be honest...I don't really know Nancy very well, but she has more integrity in her pinky than you do in your entire being! She's trying to tell you that she is going to take into consideration your comments and actually thanks you for them. You're like a 13 year old, and you just don't know when to ZIP IT!! Good for you having your husband edit your comment...shame on him for not telling you to grow up! We all have different needs, and you certainly have no place telling Nancy how to take care of hers! I can't believe how harsh your words are. If you have an ounce of compassion, or believe one word of the gospel to be true....use your words as a gift...not a weapon! Nancy...you are an amazing women of faith, anyone can tell that by the way you willingly share your testimony. Everyone struggles at one point or another...we wouldn't be human otherwise! I love the way you talk about Ty and your husband! It sounds like you guys have an amazing little family, and that's what counts! I wish you the best...and you're in my thoughts and prayers!
Just wondering if anyone has ever thought that MAYBE some things said in blogs are meant to vent and complain, then you get that all out and move on with your life?
Now I'm not sure that's what Nancy's doing here, but maybe some people could give her that chance instead of coming right out and telling her no one wants to help her because she is too bitchy?
I don't know her in real life, so I wouldn't know...but DO YOU??
Just sayin'...
PS. Nancy, I think you're doing an awesome job with Ty. Keep it up, and do what you think is best for your family.
Hi, Nancy~ The first thing our neo told us about taking our 25-weeker out in public is that we can't take him to church for up to 3 YEARS! This is hard, and I do understand where you're coming from. You make some excellent points.
Nancy, Nancy, Nancy....
WOW! That is all I can really say! Everyone has said what I want to say about this so brave "Anonymous" person...I just wonder why they don't own up to their words. Especially if they are so high and mighty. What's even funnier is that she is preaching about self righteousness!!! Uh...HELLO?!
I agree, this is YOUR blog!! Your blog to vent and say WHATEVER You want!!! Your sis said it best...if you don't like it, don't read it!!!
It is really sad that this person is so mean and ignorant to bash you and your family really for no good reason.
I have 2 autistic kids and a developmentally delayed preemie. I KNOW the Lord entrusted these special spirits to us for a reason! He knows we will love and care for them as He would! That's all that matters. Don't let the stupid actions of others in your ward change your beliefs. Don't let them affect you so you end up not going when you can.
It's really hard when you don't have a supportive ward. I know. We've been there. Ours now is amazing!! And yes, maybe you should call your RS pres a week in advance when Ty has EMERGENCY brain surgery...I know that was in you schedule!!
I love you Nancy. Who cares what people think. You know who are. You know how special Ty is. You know the Lord loves you. That is all that is important. Stay strong.
THAT IS ALL!
Post a Comment