Monday, February 4, 2008
We reach toward the unknown, but faith lights the way. If we will cultivate that faith, we shall never walk in darkness
I wanted to post a little before I went to bed. It is still later and I should all ready be in bed but I am not. The events of this month are weighing heavily on my mind. While I have avoided many of the things that we are doing I have found that I can't avoid them any longer and I need to go with faith.
First event: Tyler needs to be recasted for his leg braces. Dallas went last time and he was so helpful. This time ( since my scatter brain can't remember to write something down) I am going alone. He bought me an iphone and we have a few movies to help us deal with the meltdowns. But it still breaks my heart that his precious body can't do what it needs to right now and he has to have them.
Event 2: An epilepsy study. It is next week and I am NOT looking forward to it. It is on the 12th. Almost one year ago we were admitted for craniosynostosis surgery and we have been so healthy as to avoid any admissions and here we are. Going in for something we can't even see and don't even know if he has. Seizures are one thing that I was hoping that we didn't have to deal with and now we are facing the possibility.
Event 3: We are doing my surgery. It makes me physically ill to think of having to have my c section opened up again. ( Hopefully it won't but we have pretty crappy luck) I want to be able to be the best mom and wife. I know I need the surgery and we have respite to help with Ty so it is the best possible time. But still scares me to death. Who is going to take care of Dallas and Tyler?
We are pushing baack the CT scan that should have been this month. We don't know if we will need another skull surgery and I can't deal with the news of yes... So waiting till 3 major events are over makes it seems a little more bearable.
On a fun note. I am going to try and get some new pictures of Ty tommorow. He got yet ANOTHER hair cut. And Crys, I wish I could have seen Ty and Lily. Dallas said it was so sweet how she would sign friend to Tyler.