Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A year

A year ago our lives changed forever. Dallas and I were dealing with infertility and had been for several years. 4 years to be exact. We saw specialists. We did what they asked. We gave them our money we left with head hanging low and sad sad faces. We went back to my trusty old OB for one last ditched attempt to give me a baby. He offered Femara, we maxed out the dose, we TRIPLED the dose of clomid we were on and prayed HARD. This was it. Either it worked or it didn't. If it didn't... July Hysterectomy.

I was telling Dallas how horrible I felt. That this was going to be the worst monthly visitor we would have since my last surgery. I could FEEL how bad it was going to be because it was already making me sick with the tugging and pulling and the cramps. My OB was called again. I told him that I wanted to schedule my hysterectomy. That I couldn't do this any more. He said he would see me in his office in a few weeks, we would discuss our options and wrote a script for pain medication.

As I headed off to the pharmacy, I thought I better test before drugging myself up ( not just for the cramps but for mental sanity as well) just to make sure. Dallas was bathing Tyler when I got home. I did my thing and knew what it would say because they ALL have said no.

I got up, washed my hands, and was getting ready to toss it. Looked down and there was 2 lines. I walked into the bathroom and told D we were in big trouble and showed him the test. I then proceeded to use our entire monthly salary on pee tests and all of them said yes.

The joy was not enjoyed for long. Us being pregnant made some people very sad. I lost a good friend that day. But what we longed for was growing.

My doc was right. A few weeks later we were in his office taking a peek. There was concern on his face and we needed another scan a few weeks later. But from there. Baby Grayson ( who at the time was baby Emmalee) was on their way. August 1st 2011.

In that time I got to experience EVERYTHING I can think of to have baby Grayson here safely and I recall, loving almost every minute of it.

In May a healing process began. In May a wonderful birth mom chose my brother and his family to adopt their baby. Isaac was the heart healer. I am so thankful for Isaac. He is my miracle. One that I prayed his mom could have. I wanted her to have one before we did. I wanted them to have a baby. Instead they got Isaac. A wonderful, beautiful miracle.

In July, we got our miracle almost full term baby. It still makes me cry to remember hearing that baby cry.

In one year... a year from this week. Our families have changed.

They grew.... by 2 miracles.

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