Please don't take this wrong......

I was hoping that I would not need a disclaimer but apparently somewhere I have offended or caused some people to misunderstand.. Not just me but my feelings and some of my posts. So I am going to enlighten some of my readers.

First of all I am not crazy and I am in control of my thoughts and my feelings and I am. for the first time in my life EXACTLY where I want to be. I feel like I have support and am supported in my thinking and in my ability to have MY OWN OPINION. I also have a RIGHT to my opinions and my feelings. If you do not except them YOU don't have to.

Second thing. I understand that Tyler is "normal" and that he is doing "normal" things. That he does terrible 2 things, and that he is a very smart little boy. I have NEVER in my life loved a little person like I love him. I am so proud of him and he makes me so happy. Dallas and I are in awe of the little being we created and we fall in love with him EVERY DAY. We have also accepted Tyler. He is special. Not just meaning in his needs but in his spirit and we have been given a HUGE responsibility to cultivate that spirit.





With that I have a few things to share.

I chose to do the month of prematurity so that "others" can see a small glimpse into what we did and what we SURVIVED. We started this journey feeling scared and alone and we made it through. Although we are still on the smaller roller coaster, we have made it through the scary time. I wanted to give an insight into that. It was in NO MEANS NEGATIVE.

While I have mentioned some of the things that we "deal with" on a daily basis with Tyler I do not feel that Tyler is "abnormal." He is NOT "retarded" ( which I HATE HATE HATE that word) and I in no means "plan" to sit him down in kindergarten and tell him he is different than the other kids. That he is slow, or "lacking" in any shape or form. I intend to educate him and let him know that he is SPECIAL because he has worked so hard to be the best little boy in the whole world. Does he need to be educated about his conditions? YES. If anyone disagrees that is the beauty of this situation. HE IS NOT YOUR CHILD. YOU ARE NOT HIS PARENT. I AM!!

Do we do things in our house differently than others? Yes we do. I know my sister in Law reads my blog and I read hers. I see that her little ones are doing amazing and that they are walking and talking. My sister reads this blog and her baby is walking. Mine is not. Am I sad? A little. Not in the jealous way but more that I know we have to work harder to get to that point. Does that make us NOT normal. A little. Does it bother me? NO .. IT DOESN'T. Want to know why? EVERY small milestone he makes is one small milestone that he was NEVER suppose to hit. He makes steps and strides but if you are comparing what he is doing to my nephew's he is far behind. I HAVE ACCEPTED THAT. I feel that YOU have not accepted that and that you want to reassure me that all this is Just a NORMAL way of life.. I am not teaching my child that because someone does it easier than him he is stupid, lazy or lacking in any way.

Tyler wears glasses. I wear glasses. He wears stronger glasses than I do. He will have to have some kind of adaptive equipment when he is older to make sure that he can see all he needs to see. That makes him different. Is that OK? Yes it is. For us it means that he is allowed to watch TV and he is allowed to be more curious and make more of a mess. I know that these things will help him. I do not teach him that he CAN'T do the same things that the kids in his class are doing or will do. I know that he can DO ANYTHING. He has DONE EVERYTHING that was not expected of him.

Will I teach Ty that he is different? YES. But not in the way that you think I will. I will not sit him down and say he is different because he didn't walk when he should have or that he didn't talk in sentences when he should have. I am going to teach him that he is different because we loved him so much that me and his dad sat by his bed side for 2 months wondering if he was going to die. We came in every day for that last month and taught him to eat, we held him, we loved him and we longed for the day he was home with us. That he is different because countless prayers were offered in his behalf to stay with us. He is different because EVERYONE is different. He is different because we watched him grow into a Beautiful little boy. He is different because EVERYONE that comes in contact with him looks at his little blue eyes and his contagious smile and realizes that there is something special about him. That something special makes him DIFFERENT. That something special is LOVE. Not every child in this world has love. But, those small stepping stones that he has and is working so hard to do makes me fall in love with him every struggling step of the way.

I know that he is "normal" and he is living a "normal" life. But with the Normalcy that I have come to know as my life I have had to deal with a certain grief and grieving that I didn't know came with having a child. Yes, Tyler has some special needs. I have the privilege of taking care of these special needs. Please accept them or allow us to accept them without having your denial pushed on us. I have accepted our life as it is. And you know what.... I LOVE MY LIFE. I LOVE MY SON. I LOVE MY HUSBAND.

I love our crazy way of doing things. I love reading to Tyler, talking to Dallas and having private and amazing and honest conversations with him. I love that it is easier for him to say all he wants to say in an email. I love that Tyler chases his "tail." I love that he watches Barney. I love that Tyler watches so intently at the music lady he forgets to clap his hands. I love that he says mom. I love watching Dallas with our child. I love watching Tyler try and make Dallas laugh. I love that I get to take a nap with him EVERY DAY!

I am not unhappy with my life. I am not in denial that we are not walking and that we have "issues" that are causing us to not make that goal. I am not unhappy that we have therapies to attend to get him to reach those goals.

What makes me sad... is that you don't get it. That you would rather point out the things that you feel is so "normal" that you don't appreciate what I and Tyler and Dallas do to make him have the best possible life.

It is a cruel world out there. Any small difference makes kids life harder. We have struggles ahead of us. I am sure there are some in my own family circle that will make that struggle a little harder. But that is OK.

WE ARE DIFFERENT!!! WE LIKE BEING DIFFERENT!!! Please don't deny the obvious. If you can't accept us for us then don't. But... Know that we have a right to ask you not to be a part of our "special boy!!"


I know that this was not ALL preemie related. But Ty is the most important little man in my world. All things that make him who he is, came because of our violent shove into what is know as prematurity.For that ... all things preemie... are all things Tyler.