My baby is 4

Grayson turned 4 on Sunday! I can't believe the little boy that we never thought we would have is now 4!!!

Grayson LOVES all things cars and transportation and all things fire trucks or police officers. So we decided that we would have a birthday party at the local fire house. We figured he would be a great party to have cake on the back of a fire truck. What 4 year old wouldn't love that!

The local fire station was amazing. They are a team of 4 there and they were all ready when we got there. They had a very busy morning so we went ahead and sang Happy Birthday FIRST so that if they got called out on a call, the fire fighters at least got to sing to Grayson.

After singing we went out to the fire trucks. We had a whole bunch of 4 year old climbing all over the fire trucks and listening to the fire fighters. The firemen talked to them about what they looked like in full gear. They answered any questions the little kiddo's had. And then they just went nuts on the fire trucks. 

Last but not least we just had a good time. We sang happy birthday one more time ( yes that was twice) and we ate cake and opened presents. We then left and I had no mess to  clean up. In fact, the firemen were so amazing, they had most of everything cleaned up before we were even done. We LOVED it. 

Grayson has had a great birthday. He LOVES Lego's and he got plenty of them to play with. Paw patrols were a plenty and best of all he got the CUTEST little thing named Shelby. She is a cute little Gray Tabby cat. She was rescued from the Humane society and she is beautiful and tiny and perfect for him and us. Within a few days, she was acting strange and we had to take her into the vet. After a round of antibiotics she is doing so much better and is honestly the perfect match for our family. 

We are so thankful for Grayson and what he brings to our family.  We would be missing a little piece of our family and we would be missing that one big piece. We are so thankful that He was sent to us when he was suppose to be. 

So Baby Grayson- In the words of your new favorite obsession, Everything is awesome.. You are awesome. You are the most important thing in the world to us! We love you Baby G

Mickey Mouse - Live on Stage

Along with all the fun party stuff, Tyler got tickets to Mickey Mouse Live on Stage. Normally we would need to buy the tickets and pay a billion dollars extra to get close enough that Tyler can see or hope that whatever center we are at, allows for accommodation tickets. We have only gone to the Delta Center in Utah and not the Airway Center in Arizona. But the accommodations that they made for Tyler were amazing.

Our tickets were for the second row! Tyler and Grayson were so excited. Tyler did a great job of handling the countdown for it and was ready to go on the day of the " Talent Show." We headed into downtown.

SOOOOO funny!! 

We made our way to the floor and enjoyed the loudest concert we could have ever watched. But the characters were great and Tyler loved every second of watching his best friend Mickey Mouse and Goofy.

The best part.... The joy and excitement on the two boys' faces. Oh how I love and adore them both!

9 years of Miracles

My sweet 1pound 11 oz baby is 9. We have witnessed many miracles. We have seen them come one, after the other. Some are hard to see as miracles until we are far past them, but others have been amazing to see. 

• Tyler is very opinionated. But only a few things. He doesn't like to be called anything BUT Tyler. If you call him Ty you will be corrected. 
• He can tell you verbatim any story that you read to him after the second round. There is also a little trick he uses called READING. Because that was on thing they never thought he would do. But he does. 
• Ask him anything and he can equate it to any of the millions of Barney episodes and he can tell you all about them in any sequences at any time. 
• He loves to say the prayer. He is convinced that Jesus Christs is like the tooth fairy who visits when he is said and comes in to tuck him in extra tight at night. This by itself is a testimony builder. 
• Tyler likes church. Church poses a problem when it comes to his anxiety disorder, but our ward is amazing with his issue and many love watching him during sacrament. He plays his iPad and enjoys everything with no sound. But when it is time for the Primary to sing he is on the front row. He falls 7 or 8 times back to his seat but he is totally for the go!
• Tyler loves special blessings or priesthood blessings from his dad he is 99% sure that a special prayers will make everything ok. Even a bug bite. 
• Tyler can read. He is able to do all of his stuff with a CCTV at school and he is doing so well.  He is at third grade curriculum. 
• Tyler loves everyone and everything. He loves his cousins, grandparents and Aunt Nicky. 

A few weeks ago we were in the CP clinic down here .They were equating what Tyler goes through in one day. His muscles at the end of the day, feel like he ran a full marathon. A full 26 miles. Whatever your body feels like after that, his does that daily. 

Tyler does everything he can to be like everyone else .We love him so much and am so proud of him. There will never be another baby in our lives that has been through more and will continue to go through more. He is one of a kind. We wanted him so much, We have fought to keep him here. We fought to stay pregnant, we fought throughout the pregnancy. Nothing was right. The delivery was horrific. The time in the NICU was disturbing. The treatment from those who "love us" has been horrific. But we have gotten up and done our best. With our head held high, we know we are suppose to be his parents and that no one could do what we have done. 

Tyler is a true hero. He will always be a hero. 

He is an ordinary miracle. 

It's a sad fact ... but a fact

Tyler is turning 9. This kid LOVES birthday's. When it hit Sept.1st he got all excited that it was his month and that we would be having this awesome party at his favorite places with balloons and party hats etc. I didn't have the heart that it would BREAK my heart to do that to myself this year. But I didn't tell him no.

So, I went to 800 of my closest Facebook peeps and asked them to share a photo. This photo:

You see, Tyler has been invited to one persons birthday party in his whole 9 years. Every party we throw for him we invite his entire special needs class and hire extra respite and state workers to help us with any extra need that we could have. And yet no one shows up. No one even RSVP's. So last year, we rented out a lane at Flip side and waited to see of the 11 kids in his class, who was coming. No one showed up. It was me, his respite, his dad and his brother. I was heartbroken. 

But in true Tyler fashion he said that is ok. We can still have a good time. But I was broken. 

This year we have been trying to figure out what to do and where to have a party, Ty is not satisfied with just something here with Cake and us. He wants to go to the trampoline place, or the bouncy house place or the indoor play place. He wants to invite all his friends. But what mom dares tell him that there is no one that will come. 

As hard as it is, we have but few friends for a kiddo like Tyler. He likes things that a normal 4-6 year old would like. Not what a 8 year old would like. He is socially not where he should be. So how do you tell your innocent kiddo, that it isn't going to happen.

Well I can't. So, please download the photo and share his story. Send them back here to see what he is all about. Lets give him the "Surprise party" he deserves to have! 

The address is incorrect on the flyer. Because of my school deadline I don't have time to fix it, but his address is 18902 e kingbird. 

My little baby is a Little Boy

July 12, 2011 at 4:46 pm our world turned upside down by a sweet little boy weighing in at 6 lbs 4 ounces. 3 years later at 25 pounds and more than half the height of the his older brother and is as spunky and stubborn as could be!

3 years doesn't seem like a long time. But lots goes on in 3 years. It goes by so fast. You look back and wonder where that baby went. Yet, you look at them and think they are still your sweet 1 year old.

Grayson's face hasn't changed much since his birth ( I don't think) It has come in and out as round and chubby. His hair has changed from red to Blondie and he has turned into a funny, funny kid, but oh he is a terror.

( Grayson says Glasses like "asses" and I don't care.. I giggle)

There are so many things that make Grayson Grayson.  Here is the list we came up with today:

• He is a momma's boy to the extreme. He sleeps with me still. Pretty sure if I still had a uterus and didn't spend time away from him in the hospital with a hysterectomy, he would still nurse. 
• He is FUNNY! Today, after him being caught actually biting and chewing through rocks AND swallowing them, we gave him 5 laxatives over the last 2 days. FINALLY it was kicking in the SECOND grandpa came in the door. He locks himself in a room. When I get the door unlocked he said " mom I need my privacy, tell poppa I will be down in a minute!"
• He is a terror!! He as some anger management problems. He hits, bites, kicks, destroys things in one sweep and if he is tired as could take down a nine year old and a fat momma. He slaps too. Oh he can slap.
• He is a helpful brother. He always tries to make sure Ty is included in things. He goes with Ty everywhere. He tells him every night that he is his best friends and that he loves him. He even tells people that sometimes he falls cause he has "cerebral palsy but that is ok."
• He tells us " I cuddle you" and will want you to lay down wherever you are and cuddle. He LOVES it. 
• He loves to help cook and pretend play. He is just sweet.

There was such a huge hole waiting to be filled and he did a pretty good job. He isn't as much medical stress as Tyler but he is so typical that he is always on the go. Even with the desire to have one more and that I am missing one, I wouldn't give up this baby for the world.

( Now for the random photos of the year!!! My favorites~)

One thing that has grown in the last year is my testimony of how much family means to me. There is so many things that we have gone through that has shown me that each one of the boys were in our home for a reason. My baby is perfect. He is going to great things. I am so thankful to be his mom and I hope as he grows older he keeps having a great relationship with his brother and that he will do his best to keep his sweet innocence for as long as possible.

He had a fabulous little birthday with just Tyler and Grandpa. His little friends were out of town/or mom is ready to have a baby. So we kept it low key, over "presented" him and watched him love on his poppa.

Thank you baby Grayson for coming to our home. Thank you Grayson for being Grayson.

*Thanks Grandpa for driving 600 miles to come eat KFC and cake. It was well appreciated. We hope your flight home is fast and you can get back to grandma the old lady/naked grandma, and you don't worry to much about how much she misses you!*

Grayson has a first!

Grayson had a first. It was a sad/happy first for me. Grayson was invited to his first birthday party. We have 3 little boys that have birthdays all within 3 weeks of each other. Hyrum just turned 3 and Jacob will be three in 3 weeks and Grayson will be 3 on SATURDAY!! IKES. My baby is 3!!

He was so excited. He picked out a Car for Hyrum and was ready to go. He was excited to spend the afternoon with Hyrum and I dropped him off and left.



Grayson does so many things that are "older" than him because he does stuff with Tyler. Grayson goes to scouts ALL the time and thinks he is a big kid, so this was no big deal. It was more of a big deal to me. It seems silly, but it isn't often that we get invited places.

One thing I have learned is that Special needs kids don't get picked to play, sleep over, be friends and especially birthdays. Ty was a little upset that he wasn't able to go. He didn't fully understand but he handled it well.

As the mom, I hope to provide Ty and Grayson with amazing experiences in "Neurotypical" times and non neurotypical.

PS. Grayson came home with Ice cream in his hair, on his face, pizza in his pocket and happy to go home! ( I kinda felt like the bad mom, but Grayson goes over to Mandy's to play all the time so I didn't stay but all the other moms did) Whoops!

June went fast!!

We are into July!!!! The hottest month of the year and monsoon season. Oh joy!!

A few months ago our landlord called to let us know that he has decided that he needs to put the house up for sale. We have been here for 2 years. We like our house. We love our ward, we love the school Tyler is in and we are just really comfortable here. It is a commute for Dallas but I do all the other stuff around and we are pretty comfortable where we are. The current neighborhood we live in is hard to find a place to stay. For example, the house next door was going to be vacant about the time we needed to move. Well, it went on the market for 12 hours and was rented.

But we were lucky and got a great and amazing house in our neighborhood. A one story!! 4 bedrooms, a small amount of grass,  and a park next door. I am SO thrilled to be in a one story. And we were so lucky to get it.

This is my new house!! It is just across the street in the bigger "estates" from where we are and we are THRILLED to be there. It will be so amazing for us to have a one level. And for Tyler to no longer have any stairs. Carrying him up the stairs is just getting to much for us. 

So as of July 1st we have 15 days to pack before we can start moving stuff in. I have 2.5 weeks to get everything moved over and the old house cleaned. As soon as we get into the new house Tyler starts school. Our summer is quickly coming to an end. Super fast!

I am so excited for this house. I am so thankful for this house. I am so thankful for our ward and that we are on our learning curve to have Tyler be welcomed and things becoming more and more adaptive to the needs that he has. ( And a cute little girl just moved in, in a chair!! I almost ran her mom down with excitement that someone will be there that gets it!) We still struggle getting scouts adapted but we will figure it out.

A HUGE thank you to my dad who is loaning us his truck. Renting a pick up truck was insanely expensive. So he is driving his truck down for me. (With a 12 dozen Butterfingers donuts from food ranch ( I hope) ) He may have to come a day or so early but he will come on sweet big boy's Birthday. ( Yes my baby is 3!!!) and we bought him his plane ticket ( FYI Allegiant air in the summer is DIRT cheap if you don't bring luggage!) to get him back home.  We will keep the truck to work throughout the 2 weeks and then Fly my dad from Provo to Mesa ( seriously ALLEGIANT all the way!!) to drive back home.  Our ward his helping us the day my dad leaves.

We then get to clean and clean, get carpets cleaned and close this door in this summer house nice and tight.

Each new house we move in, comes with new ambitions to get through. My first one is to become organized to start. We accumulate just STUFF but I am learning to be less clutter filled. So we are dejunking and dejunking and selling and donating.

And the hardest and most permanent thing. I won't be taking a crib with me. Not even to store for the "next" time.  We have closed the door on baby hood forever. Moving into a new house, with no baby, but a big boy and his best brother.

Here is to a new place, new start, without starting totally over!!

The Discovery Stage

The day of Ty's birthday I ran into a mom of a cute little guy that was in his class last year. C ( how we lovingly will refer to this cute boy!) has autism but is VERY functioning and VERY super friendly. Instead of transitional kindergarten he went to a charter school. I thought he was going to go to typical kindergarten. Anyway, I asked the mom how he was transitioning. Tears welled up in her eyes. She said he was struggling. That she was struggling. At that point I realized that we all need certain things.

The week of Tyler's birthday I always struggle. ALWAYS. While listening to a fire fighter from 9/11 he said " They say time heal all wounds. But it doesn't" and that is how I feel. While I didn't see the things they did, nor did I see the destruction that was seen, but I saw horrific things that don't go away when I close my eyes and that even 5 years later isn't healing. It is still raw. Only because the effects of what we saw and what came of the events are still coming up.

This week we had Ty's IEP and though his team is wonderful and really do have his best interest in mind, it stinks a big HUGE pile of manure. GINORMOUS pile of manure really. It is never a pleasant experience to see on paper where the world puts your kid. Generally, these manure meetings happen right around his birthday ( by law) and it really takes a toll on my spirit.

This year was his year to get his IQ and stuff put out there. THE WORST EXPERIENCE EVER. One paper says he sucks and then the testing for normal kindergarten stuff says he is average. While we rejoice on the average, the fact that he can't brush his teeth and has no self help skills makes him below average in the rest of the scoring.

The older he gets the more we find we will be doing for him for a lot longer than we had planned. The older he gets the further behind we seem in some area's. The older we get the more our life is different than the neighbors. The older he gets the more we realize he doesn't have friends like the others and we rely on family more than the average Joe.

But the older we get we realize he will never understand hate. He doesn't understand when people stiff him on his birthday. He doesn't understand when someone pushes him he is not suppose to be sorry. He doesn't understand when people stare at him that you are staring because he is "different."

He doesn't understand anything other than love.

Even when we listen to him being judged by "normal standards", we know deep down that he is smart, he is loved and he is and will always be innocent.

Dumbo's mom said " All of those people who scold you, what they'd give just for the right to hold you!" She was right..... she was VERY right.

Happy Birthday Mom

Yep. I turned the BIG 31! I vaguely remember when my mom was in her thirties. I thought in high school 30 was OLD. Well, I don't think that any more.

We started my birthday out with Sunday dinner ( the Sunday before my birthday) at Dallas' parents house. It was a great time and the cake was delicious. We had told Tyler throughout the week it was my birthday and he as stoked to be able to yell surprise and have it actually BE a birthday.

Friday as my actual birthday. I got a new dress and I got a new hair cut and contacts. I have been having some personal issues the last few weeks and this has helped tremendously. Dallas also sent me some amazing flowers and a card that turned on the water works. I love the boys SO much.

Friday for lunch D brought me and Ty some cafe rio. Not so sure Grayson liked it as much as Tyler and I did but we ate it anyway. I cleaned like a mad women because we didn't communicate well and thought we would be having a sitter at our house. We ended up taking him to the sitters but before taking them we ended up having to take the boys into the pediatricians. Everyone ended up with a weird rash.

While I was gone D finished cleaning up the living room. It was the BEST part of my birthday. Having a clean house like that makes it so nice. We headed off to dinner. D's parents offered to take Tyler but we took Grayson with us. ( Though my sister offered to hold him.. I mean watch him. She had to work though) We were headed to Charlie Chows but ended up changing our mind and going to Braza Grill. It was so good.

A late night out for all of us and Ty slept in the next morning. I spent the Saturday afternoon with my dads sisters. They are so much fun to be around. I can't wait to spend next Monday with them.

So Happy Birthday to me. I guess MAYBE I can find a photo of my new hair cut. Might be next week when we get to bless our sweet baby!

Happy Birthday Oli

When I met Dallas he had a best friend that he did EVERYTHING with. Todd was older than Dallas and his wife was tolerant of the 2 "boys" hanging out in her house at all hours of the night and day. I had to pleasure of meeting them before we got engaged.

Todd and Amy have fertility issues. They were going through the adoption process for a long time. LONG time. D and I didn't have any back then but Amy and Todd were very accepting of our pregnancy and soon after we had Tyler they were chosen by an amazing birth mother to parent. Oli and Tyler are not very far off in age. Ty was suppose to be here in December and Oli came in March. In our feeble little minds we knew they were going to be best friends. Oli is tolerant of Tyler's doing and Tyler is somewhat tolerant of Oli. But what is great for me, is I LOVE Oli's mom. And Todd... well, I love that he is my hsubands best friends and so it works.

Through the course of our 5 years with our kiddos Amy and I have solidified a even stronger bond. We don't get to see each other near enough but she is someone who just gets me and doesn't judge and is there to cry with and understand with. I understand her and we both understand all of the needs and we just enjoy.

Oli has autistic characteristics and doesn't talk. He signs and his amazing attentive mother is such a wonderful voice for him. So you add Tyler the CP kid and Oli the autistic kid we have a lot in common and can laugh and cry together . Oli and Tyler do play together and sometimes play around them. But they are in the same club. The club that says this mom gets it.

We went to Oli's party and it was a swim party. I didn't tell Ty about the swim part because we had issues with just getting to the party. Amy had cute favors for the kids and we ate some yummy jello, changed clothes and headed to the pool. Ty was in LOVE with the water and he was just fine laying right down in it.

Swimming is the time when both boys can express all of their interest in and they love it.

They all had a blast and we were so thankful to have had a chance to celebrate our love of Oli with Todd, Amy and Tisha. We are so thankful they are in our lives. We appreciate their love and friendship so much more than they even know.

Happy Birthday sweet Oli

An almost birthday

For the last 4 Christmas' we have celebrated Tyler's would of should have birthday and his release from the NICU. He came home Dec.23,2005. His due date was Dec.24th so as excited as we were, we always gave him a little "something" on the 23rd.

Christmas was different that year. There wasn't a lot of gifts but there was a lot of love. Loads and loads. It started some traditions among Dallas and I that I think will go forever. This year though, things might be a little different.

In the last 6 months Tyler has developed and advanced leaps and bounds. So much so that I don't think much about his "Should have" birthday. With talk of Santa, Sleighs and reindeer there isn't much room for sadness.

I still carry a lot of guilt for not being able to protect my baby and for watching him go through so much suffering. It was my bodies fault and there is nothing I can do to make myself get over it. But, the advances and the talking and the great stuff sure lessens the blow.

The traditions that started 4 years ago will continue, there is one that we have outgrown. Those are the ones that hurt less, year after year.

Happy Birthday Nicky

It is my baby sisters birthday today. It started 21 minutes ago. She was born on a Tuesday. She kept the tradition of the 26th because if not mom cant' remember when we are born.

Nicky has a mind of her own. She is a good person and she tries her hardest to be thoughtful and giving to those around her. She doesn't like feeling like she is taken advantage of and if she does have that feeling, she steps away.

She is a very pretty women. She forgets it sometimes. She forgets it and lets herself be treated in ways that make me want to punch people. :)

I am the family band-aid and will fix all I can for Nicky in as many ways as I can. She is the baby. She will always be the baby. She will always have to be the last one to do everything.

She is great with all of our kids. She is a wonderful Aunt/mother to my child and to my other siblings children. Everyone needs that Aunt that means the world and moon to them. Nicky is that for 6 of them. Some day.. we hope to return the favor.

Thanks for being a pain and making me steal. It was RUDE of you to do that. But I hope you have know that even when you are a pain you are my baby pain. I hope to give you all you want soon.

"Regardless of whether or not a woman is able to have children, she is nevertheless - a mother. A woman - is a mother to all she knows and loves."

A mother is someone who cares for others. Always be that Other mother!

Hope Play date

On Ty's birthday I sent his cute little butt off to school and ran to the grocery store. I wanted to get some new cupcakes to send to his class. When I got to school Ty was working with the Speech therapist. As soon as I walked in he as not willing to keep working. She asked a few questions about his vision and if he can see certain things. After a few pointers, we were ready for cupcakes.


Ty doesn't drink milk. Like at all. One day he just stopped. He use to drink carnation and milk. So I laughed when he wanted milk. Miss Holly said he never drinks it but he wants it. It was even chocolate milk and he was so happy to have it.
He went back and forth between me and his cupcake. He was so funny. Another little boy in the class ate his own cupcake then walked over by the leftover cupcakes and tried to lick them. He was SNEAKY!! Ty had a great time and was not unhappy when I left.

When he got home we had lunch and then got ready to go on an activity with the hope kids. It was our first activity and he had such a great time. So did his mom. It was nice to see him so happy.

We made I spy bottles with Rice. He really liked being able to fill the bottle with the rice. He wanted to do it all by himself.

He was not convinced that we should do a whole bunch of items into the bottle instead he loaded up on the first few items. He liked the jingle bells a lot and loaded up on those too.

Next stop was making his own play doh and he kept wanting to play in the ingredients.

We played a game with a water noodle and marbles. He needed some help so I wasn't able to get a picture. He was excited to play with his friend Ben. He would race Ben's marble and laugh and laugh.

We also did a parachute and tried to keep the balls on the parachute. He thought it was pretty funny to watch the balls fall off and hit people.

Last activity was playing with the balloons as basketballs. He loved it. They had lower kid baskets but he wanted the big ones. So after a few pictures I had to hold him up and let him shoot with the big one. He was super sweet to the kids who needed help. He helped get balloons for his friends in chairs and he had such a good time.

A Trip To the Party Store

On Tuesday we left Dallas to recoup at the house and Tyler and I went to the party store. We have talked about parties, read books about parties and show movies about parties. He is SOO ready to have a party. He said the other day he wanted Hot Dogs at his party. What a difference a year makes. With words it is much more fun to bombard him with questions about his party.

The party store has every kind of party stuff imaginable. Because we had already heard about his dying desire to have a Mickey Mouse party we went in search of all things Mickey Mouse. He saw the Minnie Mouse stuff that looked like his birthday cards that he sent out and he go them and put them in the cart. Then he pretty much went nuts with all the other stuff there. He kept saying " Wow, pretty cool mom!" He would take the candles and pretend to blow them out. It was a HUGE hit and we spent way to much money.

One other item we were in search of was a beach ball and a jump rope. We found a globe that blew up so we got that and we found a jump rope for Tyler. He carries the beach ball map around the house. So I thought I would teach him a few things. He knows where Russia is and China and where Wheel of Fortune is at. ( Las Vegas!)

After trying to find all of the party stuff we stopped and ordered his cake and he is so excited that he got to pick it out. He is LOVING it.

Today when we asked him what his party was going to be like he said " Hot Dogs, Mickey mouse and cake."

He has is Right. Cake and Mickey mouse. Come ready for Limbo, and games!

I heart Faces entry

It has been a VERY long time since I have decided to participate in a contest over at I Heart Faces. The theme this week is Vrroom Vrrrom. Being that it is getting close to Tyler's birthday, I have been looking back over some photos of my grown up baby.

So I am entering one of his photos from last year that I took. Nothing beats a little boy and his Radio Flyer!

A little bit of *his* story. Tyler has Cerebral Palsy. We bought this bike so he could learn to ride and participate in the neighborhood. What we didn't know was that riding a "normal" bike would prove to be to difficult. Tyler needs an adaptive tricycle. He doesn't have one just yet because even with a discount of 50% the bike out of pocket is our cost. The bike is $700. Tyler can't keep his feet on the pedals on this bike even with adaptations but we REALLY wanted him to have a * normal* chance at what the other kids were doing. He was so happy as we pushed him around the neighborhood. He was ringing his bell and the other kids would take turns pushing him.

Some day I will get him a Rifton bike but for now we settle on looking back a year ago to a time when we innocently thought for a brief moment we were like everyone else!

A boy with a Radio Flyer!

P.S. Click on the photo to make it larger!

What I have learned in 30 years

Happy Thirty to me! Not sure how I feel about turning 30 though I still feel like people look at me and see a teenager. So I guess it isn't too bad.

There are a lot of things that I have learned in the last 30 years and a few things I would still like to do.

Things I have learned:

• Life isn't fair. It really isn't fair. Everyone has trials but some people get much more than their fair share.
• I should have studied harder in High school. I never was so great at math. I should have worked harder so that I didn't have to struggle as an adult.
• Marriage is the best thing that could have happened to me, but it is a lot of work. The work isn't so hard because I love my spouse.
• I have gray hair.
• Motherhood is great, hard, sad, thrilling, happy and fulfilling
• My mom was right

Things I still want to do:

• Go back to school. I would LOVE to do PA school ( but that isn't going to happen) but at least go through nursing school or something that I can have stuff to do when I have no kids at home.
• Have another baby
• Run in a race. ( I know right.. I am fat. So I have high goals!)
• Be a better house keeper
• Be a better wife
• Be a better mother

Accomplishments made in my 20's

• Went on a mission
• Survived a mission
• graduated from College
• Went to USU and to the U to get my degree
• Met the man I married
• Had a beautiful baby.
• Sealed for Time and ALL eternity to Tyler and Dallas
• Endured a painful c-section that needed months of reconstructive care.
• Sent my son off to 7 brain surgeries
• Saw my son walk
• Heard my son say I love you
• Had 3 endometriosis surgeries
• 3 rounds of infertility treatment
• Going on 2 years of infertility
• A move from another state
• a move back to Utah
• 2 major car accidents
• LOTS of amazing times with Dallas and Tyler

Oh what a time the 20's were. I am looking forward to the 30's!

Is August over?

The month of August started out really blah.

REALLY blah.

Quite frankly the summer has kind of sucked. Like a lot. But the Month of August so far has taken the cake. I hope to wake up and have it be September 1st... ( literally, cause T is back in school then)

So the ONE date that I got to go on with Dallas started by us realizing that we had failed yet MISERABLY at getting pregnant and ended up with Dallas having a gal bladder attack. An attack that has lasted 3 weeks, an Insta care visit, and ER visit, 2 outpatient scans and a general surgeon visit. It has resulted in Dallas first surgery EVER in his WHOLE life, in which we have come to the conclusion that he is a HUGE baby when it comes to pain. He will even admit that he has a HUGE pain issue.

As this crappy week has progressed I, YEP ME!!, the mom of the year decided it was the best time to finally just tell Ty he was not a baby and he goes to the bathroom in the toilet. In which we have had 3 wet underpants and one poop pants which resulted in carpets having to be cleaned, a bath taken and Clorox ALL over the house and random poop pieces picked up. Not to mention holding his arms down because he had put his hands in his pants when he realized he pooped and started to cry.

After several happy trips to the potty which Dallas attended, we had no pee success in the potty. On the way BACK down the stairs Dallas grabbed the spare cups that I had been meaning to take down. As Ty got off the stairs I turned around and D was falling down them.

The said cups in hand ended up on the landing at the bottom, broken in LOTS of different large pieces while my broken hubby was sitting on the floor. In horrific pain. I let him sit there so that he could gather himself together. ( I fell off the deck steps a few months ago and I was half embarrassed and half in so much pain I could DIE!) I took out the trash and started to clean the glass around him so we could get him up. In the mean time we realized his leg was bleeding. A LOT.

We got the glass up and Dallas up and the wound was big. He needed stitches according to his wife doctor ( who is generally RIGHT) and I called my sister for help. I needed someone who was able to put Ty to bed, deal with his meds and understand without frustrating him for his night routine. She was perfect.

She let him watch a movie with her and then lady right down next to her and fell asleep. I knew she loved it and I knew he loved it. Off we went to the Insta care.

Because of the location of his "owie" and the location of the surgery owies he couldn't lay down in order for this to really work for anyone so it was kinda a pain. But he is now the proud owner of 7 stitches in his upper leg and on the good side that he could lay down on because of the pain from the surgery.

It puts a damper on my idea of a laid back Birthday and temple trip I wanted to take.

BOO

Hopefully I can at least get some shrimp scampi!

Mommy- It's your birthday

My mom has had a TOUGH year. I think the only thing that would make it worth a MILLION dollars and more would be to have more sweet babies.

Because this has been such a bad year we hope she gets her million dollar wish. But before then we have a few things we want to tell her. Along with Remind her why we love that she is still here with us.

My mom has had to learn how to live on her own this year. No my dad didn't run away. She lost her dad. So a new normal has had to take place.

She did get her wish though. We were all in one place for Christmas. We were all in one place for Thanksgiving too!

My mom has helped me a lot the last few years. Specifically when I am OVER the disabled world. When Ty has been sick or had emergency surgery, or 9 hour long head reconstruction or even just coming for a birthday party she has helped me. She can drive me crazy sometimes but I would rather have her drive me crazy than not be here when I need her.

My mom has been the one to step in when tears are running down my face and I can't be the strong mom any more.

She has gotten a look of PURE love and joy holding my new baby. She came up and was there when we brought him in the door. She came up every ( or almost) every weekend while he was in the hospital and she has been there to witness some pretty cool things. (Like first look at those pretty BLUE EYES! )

She has spent hours at pools watching while my dad does all the work keeping my kid up and down the stairs. She has rocked him and loved him and encouraged him along with me.

She has gotten FURIOUS at him being left on a bus or breaking his nose or falling down. And she has helped teach all the other kids that it is ok to be different and she encourages him to be the best Tyler ever.

But most of all. She is a great grandma. She loves all the kids. She loves everything about them and want even more for them to be happy.

Happy Birthday Dad - Grandpa

Dear Dad/Grandpa/Cat,

Happy Birthday. I won't tell everyone how old you are but 1956 must have been a FULL year. We are so happy to be back in Utah with you guys this year and can't wait to see you on Friday. We are thankful that we get to see you more often.

We have a lot of things to be thankful for this year. Since last year we have moved back to Utah. Thanks to your help we made it safe and sound and we got our things here. We know it was a long drive but we are SO thankful for you moving expertise and hope that we stay put ( at least in Utah) for a few more years. ( or months, until we get the move bug again.)

We are thankful for the time you have spent with Tyler so that he could get to know you. We are sorry that he doesn't talk but glad he can call you a CAT! He loves your kisses and loves to "pet" your "cat."

I will always remember the first time you held my baby. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were there for me and for him. I can't imagine what the car ride up to Salt Lake was like when you heard that we were coming so EARLY. I know what you face looked like when you gave me a blessing, the next day and for several times after that. Tears came from both of us.

Tears still come as you see Ty become better and learn more and share more. I can't thank you enough for taking him with you and letting him be him.

There are 4 boys and 2 girls that ADORE their grandpa. You know that they are so happy to have you there with you. They are lucky to have a grandpa who spoils them rotten. Who never wants to see them in pain, go without or even not see you.

I am thankful for all the things you have taught me in my life. For all the things that you have done for me, my family and for my future family. Thank you for giving us the foundation to build a testimony from.

Happy Birthday. We hope you have a good day!

Happy Birthday Alexis

Today is Lexi's "Special" birthday. She is NEVER going to be a one digit again. She is the cutest and sweetest thing. In the last 5 years we have seen her grow up so much. She LOVES Tyler. She takes care of him. She is so sweet. She helps him all the time and Tyler LOVES Lexi.

Happy birthday Lexi! Thanks for being such a sweet girl! And thank you for loving Tyler